out of time. Mum at end stage.

[elephantnose3334]

I haven't decided yet! I'll be transferring current fish, rehoming the endlers, and then we'll see! No solid plans yet, but no doubt will be getting some dwarf rainbows/psuedomugli of a couple of varieties, see whether I can spawn them.

My dream tank currently is a reasonably large tank, like 220-240L, heavily planted, with lots of nano fish, but in large numbers, like 25-30.

Have also wanted to set up a tank and see whether I can breed Corydoras hasbrosus the way I've bred Corydoras pygmaeus.

Might see whether I can find an adult male L181 plec and see if I can breed my two females.

But it's early days, and I may well change my mind! I also have soft spot for botiid loaches, so if I can swing a large enough tank separate from the cories, I'd love a gang 6 plus yoyo loaches, or pakistani, zebra, or dwarf chain like @seangee has, if they weren't so expensive!

But, there's no rush to stock, haven't even set up the tanks yet, and there will be fish store visits and research where I'll no doubt change my mind a dozen times! Oh, if I do the hasbrosus tank, or another similar nano tank (I count anything 20g or less as a nano) then I'll get some different, brightly coloured shrimp. I've always been drawn to the blues. And have a hankering for a long fin white bristlenose plec.

You're getting Australian rainbows? I'm in! I followed you earlier btw.

 

[Alice B]

Just before the ten minute mark, he says, transcribed: "It's probably a male, entity. To think that women... it's women's prerogative to clean. When there used to be three women in the house, so I'm the only male. I go out and work and come home, and they haven't washed up or they haven't prepared anything. I don't like that."

Said with an attitude that shows he means it. Thinks it's his wife and daughters that should have maintained the house, since he's a man, and works. Nevermind that his wife also works, likely did the majority of the childcare, judging by his attitude, and the fact that his daughters were kids. Being raised in that messy, dirty, hoarder home, and with those two parents setting that example! I bet the daughters tried to clean up, but would have been reprimanded by the parents, so what could they do, and why is it their responsibility? Chores are one thing, and normal, healthy, expected. Contributing as members of the household, sure. But if the parents are a terrible example, and the house is a disaster, then the kids couldn't hope to make a dent in it anyway.

Just gross that he considers it all to be women's work. My dad was born in the last 1930s, and never had an attitude like that. He did all the food shopping and cooking, had no hesitation about buying "women's products" for my mum and I when needed, and would get stuck in if a cleaning job needed doing, or help out in general. He strikes me as the kind of father who regards spending time with his kids without his wife there as 'babysitting', and doing her a favour. My dad saw it as parenting, and loved spending time with us, showing us new things and teaching us stuff.

I really was lucky to have them as parents. That's a comfort. I'm grateful for them.

You were lucky. My mom worked nights, my dad fixed cars and odd jobbed and I cleaned and cooked from about age 11 on. And got younger siblings fed, dressed, to sitter, picked up from sitter. I unfortunately never met a man that felt doing a share of the housework was men's work, but my 3rd husband, if I made him mad, he'd bottle it up and clean the whole house. Then he started swinging on my teenageers and that was about the end of that.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

Meeting with the minister/reverend today, very soon actually.

I know this is going to be emotional.

It's the same lady who did dad's funeral, and I specifically asked whether she might be available for mum's, and fortunately she was. She's a really nice American lady, and she did a great job giving dad's eulogy, spent a lot of time with mum and us, hearing stories from us, then crafting those into his eulogy. But I know it's going to be emotional.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

Meeting with the minister/reverend today, very soon actually.

I know this is going to be emotional.

It's the same lady who did dad's funeral, and I specifically asked whether she might be available for mum's, and fortunately she was. She's a really nice American lady, and she did a great job giving dad's eulogy, spent a lot of time with mum and us, hearing stories from us, then crafting those into his eulogy. But I know it's going to be emotional.

Minister has left now. It was emotional, and I do feel tired and not inclined to make phone calls/further plans for mum's funeral right now. Need to take a break I think. She's a really nice minister, did a wonderful eulogy for dad, and I'm sure will do the same for mum. She was here for an hour and a half, and asks great questions. But it was still emotionally draining.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

Pretty sure one of the funeral songs will be Pentatonix's version of Amazing Grace

Mum was more religious than dad was, although both were nominally Christian in that generational UK way, where everyone was Christian and attended church, and my brother and I were raised Christian, with mum taking us to church, even to a bible camp for a week, and we had children's bibles etc. I know she found a lot of comfort in her faith, and even though she stopped attending church in latter years, I think this was more a matter of individual church power struggles and political/interpersonal drama, rather than a reflection of her beliefs.

I've lately been wearing mum's necklace that she wore everyday, no matter what. It's a silver chain that hangs near my heart, with a St Christopher medallion, and a beautiful little decorative silver cross.

I've been trying to open my mind and heart again. I'd love to have the faith I had as a child, when I believed wholehearted and unquestioningly. I also strongly feel as though my parents are together again, that dad was waiting for her, and mum also believed that, and said in her last days that they would both always love us and watch over us.

On Christmas Day, and a few times since, especially when upset, I've felt that one or both of them were with me, comforting me. The scientific and psychological student part of me says this could just be my brain releasing chemicals that comfort me, and help me get through this really, really painful and difficult time. But the universe is mysterious, there's quantum to consider, and much of it is beyond human comprehension. The more we learn in science, the more we find we don't know all the answers. Trying to wrap your mind around quantum entanglement is a head trip, for one thing! As is the big bang. Then get into the fact that there are almost certainly parallel universes, other life out there in the vast beyond outside our own part of space... and even as a natural scientist who understands (as well as someone not specialising in it, anyway) evolution, and struggles with a lot of parts of the bible, I'm still feeling torn, conflicted, and wanting very much to find faith again, and to be able to reconcile these two things in my own head and heart.

This may be too much for the open forum. I don't want to inspire or encourage a debate on religious beliefs. That's not what this is about. This is just relevant to this part of my journey, in planning my mum's funeral, including choosing the music, and having a slightly more religious funeral service. Plus sharing my own internal struggle and desires, and thoughts along the way.

If anyone does want to share about their own thoughts on religion, on my own thoughts, or debate, please pm me rather than putting it in this thread, so as to discourage offending anyone or leading to a debate, which isn't what this fish forum is for. It's not really for this kind of thread either, but that's also what off-topic general chat is for, and this has been wonderful therapy for me, and I've only been getting through this far thanks to the support, love and encouragement from friends here and elsewhere, so it feels very natural to share and blab it all out here. It's been a huge source of comfort for me.

But, if it's breaking the rules, or likely to cause problems, by all means I'll remove or edit this post, and try to keep these sorts of thoughts to pm only, please don't hesitate to ask me to edit or delete this if it's crossing any lines, @Fishmanic @Essjay @GaryE @CaptainBarnicles !

Another song I'm considering is Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton, When I Get Where I'm Going

Mum and dad both loved country music, including Dolly of course, who is a country music legend and wonderful person to boot, and this song really speaks to me about passing, and the people left behind.

Generally we need two songs. One to play during the service and as people enter, and sit in contemplation, then another song that plays at the end and as people exit.

For dad, we chose (well, I chose really, but mum had also written down "bridge over troubled waters" as a possible song choice, so we went with Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Waters for the song during the service, then I chose Pentatonix's version of Hallelujah, because it's the most powerful and haunting version I've ever heard, and I made dad listen to it once, with headphones on, because they do all their songs acapella, with a guy who does beatboxing and slapping his own body/stomping feet to create the actual background music beats, and they all sing and harmonise beautifully, all have beautiful voices, and all take a turn to get a verse, and it's amazing. That was the exit song.

Looking at mum and dad's room with fresh eyes, as I've been going through and sorting/organising things, I also realised that on mum's side of the bed, hanging on the wall she had a Jesus on a cross, a framed copy of Footprints in the sand, and another religious scripture about having wisdom, guidance, and seeking strength to make wise choices, and support through hard times. Planning to keep these.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

This hurts so much. It's like fresh waves of grief, all the time, and even sedating benzos can only do so much to mask and dull it.

I don't want this. I don't want to figure out how to cover the cost of a double urn, even though I've found one I love that would suit them both perfectly, but can't afford to buy right now, and likely couldn't get the bank to pay for directly since it's on Etsy and not from the funeral company.

I don't want to choose what clothes they will put on mum's body before she's cremated.

I don't want to listen to sad music, trying to decide which would best honor mum and dad, and help us all grieve.

Nor do I want to do anything else, really.

I just want to cry, and not be in this position. But there's no changing it.

 

[Alice B]

I was not close to my parents. I was close to my grandparents. They raised me until my dad married and were the only relatives I could really trust. When my grandfather died he had been in and out of consciousness for several years. a psychic I knew then said there was an older male presence following me around, and I didn't believe it at the time, but I just said ok and forgot about it. when my grandfather died, I was living without a telephone a few hundred miles from my nearest relative and a couple thousand from my grandparents. I woke from a dream - the dreams I have at dawn are often relevant, and I with a friend who held ministerial credentials were traveling thru mountains covered with pine trees on our way to do last rites for someone, or they would be buried without last rites. the dream was disturbing, but I had to go to work, and I did this. I went by a friend's house, with a phone, after work and was having tea when the phone rang, it was a brother in law to let me know that my grandfather had died, in Oregon where they were living, and he was being buried that day without last rites, the funeral would be a couple of weeks later in the town they lived in for many years. We held his funeral in the desert that night, and I swear he attended. In a way he got last rites.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

And there's anger in there too. At myself, at the universe, at life and death in general. At all the people expecting me to do everything, and to know what to do, and to be a proper adult and handle these things without stressing about it. Anger is a part of the grieving process though, right? So I guess it's normal to have those moments.


So during these angry times, I play this a lot

 

[Essjay]

Anger is part of the process. When my sister was knocked down by a car and killed when she was 25, I was so angry with her. It took me a few years to get over that anger.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

@Alice B and @Essjay , I'm so sorry for the losses you've both endured! You've also both been amazing at supporting and talking me through this whole process, since way back when we first lost dad.

My older female relations are also supportive, and do their best over the phone, but since they were grown and having their own families before I was born, they're my first cousins, but their children are the same age range as I am. They're also busy with their own lives, of course, so we've only been able to speak every week or two.

I think back to the days when generations of families would live with and near each other, or even in early hominid history, when people lived within relatively small groups, so would have relations and elders all around them, who could guide them through this kind of thing, and wish I had more family nearby.

But I'm grateful for my fish family and friends here!

I think the anger is rising for me right now, because otherwise I was gonna collapse into a sobbing wreck again, and anger is safer than that, and helps with driving forward. I'm easily moved to tears, but I hate crying, and will always stop myself as soon as I can. It's something a previous therapist picked up on, and she gave me homework at one point. I was to go home and make myself cry, and really let myself cry. Watch a sad film, listen to sad music, think about the reasons I was in therapy - whatever it took, but to actually let myself cry it out, and not force myself to stop, or distract myself.

I never could do it. I was diligent and worked hard in therapy, but that was one piece of homework I never managed to make myself do.

Alanis is always good for venting some rage. This one I used to play a lot when breaking up with a boyfriend (I picked some really, really bad men when I was younger, I can empathise with you, @Alice B ) and this song is great for those break ups. Firstly for the addicts, users and violent one, but even later, after some more therapy, when I picked ones who were better but still not right for me.

"I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you" fit with one ex in particular, who by six months in had our whole future lives planned out, with zero input or encouragement from me. Casually laid it all out to me, in detail, as if that's how it works. It was what he wanted, I was merely the woman-shaped bit he needed to slot into the fantasy to bear his kids and fit neatly into his vision. Could just have easily been any other woman, who I was as a person, or what I may have wanted, didn't even get a look in.

That opened my eyes to a lot, and I ended that one!

Have also listened to it a few times while angry with my bro, that I'm not the doctor, not his mother, can't fix his wounds for him, he's a very big boy now... those lyrics and her voice still punch pretty hard.


This other one from the same album is also one I replay a lot while trying to calm myself down from an angry state:

 

[GaryE]

All emotions are part of it - anger, sadness. Then I found as time went on, joy began to sneak in - a feeling that I had been lucky to have known them. Not everyone gets that because not all families work out, but I was a fortunate one there. It took a few months before the anger calmed. It solved nothing and came and went like all these emotions that add up to grief.
As you know, grief is a mix of strong emotions that changes as it evolves.
As you saw with your Dad, the funeral is a hard time. I think we torture ourselves with these rituals to get to some kind of closure. I had a big problem with disbelief - the idea people so complex, wonderful and with so much empathy, kindness and knowledge can cease to be there with you is really hard to get your head around. I can see why there are so many hopes tied up in all the religions, and why people try so hard to believe. I can see rituals aiming for closure like that.

The anger period can last a long time. All of these strong emotions are real, and anger is a strong, sensible and enduring one. Don't pretend otherwise - let it work through you. When we go through the things, we change, that's a painful process when it's against our wishes.
Whatever beliefs you have when this settles, you'll still talk to your parents in your mind. They'll always be there.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

I'm going to have to insist that you finally get round to completing that homework....

Crying is not a show of weakness and it doesn't mean that you're failing or not coping with your situation. Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which help ease both physical and emotional pain. I read somewhere once that grief and rejection shows up in the brain the same as physical pain does...I always feel better after a big ugly-cry, you know the one that leaves your eyes red and puffy, snot and tears and half your hair stuck to your face...always followed by a pint of Ben&Jerry's (Phish food flavour, obviously)....

 

[jaylach]

I'm going to have to insist that you finally get round to completing that homework....

Crying is not a show of weakness and it doesn't mean that you're failing or not coping with your situation. Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which help ease both physical and emotional pain. I read somewhere once that grief and rejection shows up in the brain the same as physical pain does...I always feel better after a big ugly-cry, you know the one that leaves your eyes red and puffy, snot and tears and half your hair stuck to your face...always followed by a pint of Ben&Jerry's (Phish food flavour, obviously)....

I totally agree and am an easy cry. A sad movie and my eyes leak. Really tick me off and I cry while I tear you up. Really my eyes leak any time I'm under emotional input. Crying is NOT a sign of weakness. The lack of being able to show emotion is the true weakness.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

Well, I've cried and handled a lot of anger already this morning, and it's not even 11am yet.

I'd asked for mum's funeral director to call me this morning so I could find out what details I needed to finalise so we can get a final invoice, which we need to take into the bank and have it paid directly out of the estate.

I have no issues with the current funeral directors handling mum's funeral, they've been great. We finalised a few other details, there are a couple of things I need to confirm with other family members and make sure are done, then they can do a final invoice.

I also asked the previous funeral directors who handled dad's funeral, which my mum and brother hadn't finished paying off after dad's passing, because mum was severely unwell emotionally and physically by that point, and I've since found out would open her post, tuck it into a bag that she'd previously would have gone through and dealt with later, back in the days when she was super organised and on top of things - but with her short term memory problems, declining health due to cancer, and the grief of losing her life partner of 57 years, hadn't been handling. I had asked my brother to take charge of paying it off from their joint account, since he had been in charge of shopping and online ordering, and was the one opening post with mum, while I handled the medical and personal care stuff, which was overwhelming enough as it was. So I didn't worry about the financial stuff, knowing it could be figured out later, even if it was more hassle then.

Obviously, my brother didn't handle it, I shouldn't have trusted him too, and now it's much more complicated since mum has passed. Had either of us handled it while mum was alive, it could have easily been paid off from the money they had in their joint account. But now that she's passed, we obviously cannot touch any of the money in any of their accounts directly, it has to go through probate.


When mum passed, the hospice workers could see I was in shock and exhausted, and gently talked us through the next steps. Called the district nurses for us, so they could come out and confirm mum's passing, and that once that was done, to find a funeral company that could come and collect mum. They asked if we had a funeral home picked out or a plan, and we said no, then Sam mentioned that we hadn't yet finished paying off dad's funeral even. Bear in mind also that we hadn't even collected dad's ashes yet. We weren't dragging our heels not wanting to pay. It was a combination of being so busy looking after mum as her health took a serious downturn after losing dad, as did mine, to be fair, mentally at least - and not having someone competent to handle the financial side of things. I wanted to collect dad's ashes, but choosing an urn upset mum, and then I consciously decided to wait to collect them, since I knew seeing an urn with dad's ashes would have severely upset mum, and the funeral directors had assured us that there was no rush, it could wait until we'd found a suitable urn.

So once the initial shock had worn off, I called the funeral directors that had handled dad's funeral and cremation. Bearing in mind that mum passed on Christmas Day too. As it happened, the person who answered was the funeral director who had been in charge of dad's funeral, and spent more than an hour at our house, met mum, and remembered us, passed her condolences and assured me that they would look after mum. To just call her once the district nurses had been, and then they'd have people come within 90 minutes to take mum into their care. I mentioned then that I'd found out we hadn't even yet finished paying off dad's funeral, and she told me not to worry about that right now, it can all be sorted out, and that they'd take good care of mum.

When the guys arrived to collect mum, after I'd laid her out, alone - one of them assured me that they treat people as if it were their own family member.

So I figured okay, we still owe them money, but they know mum and dad owned their house outright, that they have some savings - not a huge amount, but easily enough to cover both funerals, and that we'd just pay them for both mum and dad's funerals, that we'd just be running up the bill of what we owe them, but that they know it's within parents estate for them to get paid.

But no. On the 27th, just two days after mum's passing, and you guys know I was still a wreck, having not been able to eat, sleep, and still a hypervigilant mess since mum had needed me so much in her final weeks especially both day and night. So I was still reeling, woken from a few hours of fitful sleep by the funeral home - a nervous sounding girl asking if I could come into the office to begin sorting out mum's funeral. I said I can't to the office yet, but that basically we wanted the same things we'd had for dad's funeral. Cremation, same crematorium, simple coffin, ideally the same minister if we could, but that I needed some time before I could come in, and also deal with agoraphobia so could we make most arrangements over the phone? She ended up getting off the phone and I was a bit surprised they'd called so soon, but didn't give it much other thought. I'd still only been half awake, for one thing.

Then a few hours later, they called again. But this time it was a really icy cold, obviously more senior and strict woman. She was ice cold, said that since there was still an outstanding balance on dad's funeral, they wouldn't be able to arrange mum's funeral. I was gobsmacked. Immediately both panicked, tearful and angry all at once. I asked what that meant, that they knew the money was in my parents accounts to cover both, but with them having both passed without wills, I couldn't touch it and had to find out about the probate process, that dad's funeral was the first time I'd even had to arrange a funeral, so what were we meant to do? She said we'd have to find another funeral company, but that they'd "take care of mum" until we found another company.


I said well we needed to pay a large down payment to them for dad's funeral (£1,500), that surely another funeral company would also want a deposit like that, that we didn't personally have that kind of money and couldn't touch mum and dad's accounts, and would another funeral company even be willing to take on mum's funeral if we still owed money to her company? Her answer? "Well, WE won't tell them!" That's a quote, BTW. I asked why Shelley, the director who had handled dad's funeral and who I spoke to on Christmas Day hadn't called, could I speak to her? She said no, that we wouldn't be able to speak to her. Personally, I thought that was cowardly, but didn't say that.

She didn't offer any solutions. Just ice cold saying they wouldn't do it. So through gritted teeth I asked how much time I had. How long they'd be willing to "look after" mum while I tried to find a solution. She said not to worry, they'd take care of mum until another company would come and collect her from them. I still have the notes I made during this conversation, too. She didn't give me a date for mum to be collected by, nothing, just said that they couldn't handle mum's funeral because of the outstanding balance, to find another funeral company, and that they'd take care of mum until another company took her into their care.

I've idled with the thought of making a complaint to that company, especially for the way I was spoken to only two days after mum's passing, but I'd told myself to wait on that. That I'm grief stricken, angry and hurt, and not to make a decision like that in the heat of the moment, and that there are more important things to worry about at this time. But it has remained in the back of my mind, because at the very least, it was unprofessional, utterly lacking in empathy, and cost their company around five grand in business they would have otherwise been assured of.


These phone calls and me having to be the one to sort it all out caused a massive blow up between my brother and I. I was furious, panicked, still a wreck emotionally and physically from mum's passing, and resentful that yet again he'd dodged any responsibility, and left it all to fall on me, at the worst possible time, and that it would be up to me to fix it.

That lit a fire under his behind, and within an hour or so he was rushing down to dad's bank branch in person with death certificates, and found out from the bank that the bank could pay the funeral directors directly, we just needed an invoice. So I told him to sort it out then. about

The funeral directors could have told us about the bank being able to pay them directly even during probate. It's hardly unusual, but they didn't. We found out from the bank after all of this. Brother then contacted that funeral home to tell them this, and bro told me that they were getting him an invoice, and that they'd be prepared to handle mum's funeral once the balance on dad's had been paid.

Given how badly they'd handled this, I didn't want to go with them for mum's funeral, and give them another five grands worth of business, nor have that pall hanging over mum's funeral, when it's going to be hard enough as it is. That yes, we owe them the remaining balance for dad's funeral, of course, but I wanted to find another funeral company for mum's.

I've already logged here that I was also trying to get in touch with Citizen's Advice, working with social workers through St Peter's Hospice, and with my doctor to sedate me enough to get through all of this, and talking to Co Op's legal and probate services to see how much it would cost to get their help to handle all the probate business, and researching it myself too, getting as much advice as I could and learning about what's involved myself, to see whether I could do it myself, or should just hire them to do it, and spend another £6,500 of mum and dad's money to do it, on top of the funeral costs, while also stressing about how we'd cover day to day bills and utilities for the house, given my bro and I were both on benefits and had been caregiving for the last few years, and were both struggling to picture future for ourselves. I was scared of losing the house!!

Anyway, in the end I went with the Co Op for mum's funeral, they didn't demand a down payment and understood about the probate situation and that once we have an actual invoice from them, we can pay them directly from the bank. Once we arranged that on the phone, they took mum into their care immediately, or the next day - either way I know it was fast, but then there was a gap where we couldn't have the meeting with the funeral director until Jan 18th, because after the holidays is a busy time of year for funeral homes. Anyway, I have no complaints about co-op, they've been great.

Yesterday I called them to make some more final choices, and to find out what other decisions need to be made so they can send an invoice rather than the estimate we have, so I can take the final invoices from co-op and the previous funeral company from dad's funeral into the bank and get both settled at the same time. Save me making two trips, what with my agoraphobia, and with everything else I have to arrange. Our funeral director wasn't available yesterday, but they said he'd call me this morning, and he did.

After telling him the choices we'd made, and finding out what else I need to settle before we can do the final invoice, and he assured me there's no hurry, the funeral isn't until Feb 12th, so there's plenty of time and no pressure on me. Then he mentioned they'd received an invoice from dad's funeral company with the charges for taking mum into their care before the Co Op collected her - plus a DAILY CHARGE OF £25 PER DAY, so the invoice was over £500!! He seemed surprised by the high cost of the invoice, said that there is usually a charge of around £200 since companies have to pay staff to collect the deceased etc, that usually gets rolled into the general cost of the funeral arrangements, but he was surprised by the £25 per day charges. As was I! They hadn't told us about these charges, despite my specifically asking about how much time we had to find someone else.

So I was shocked and furious. It's like they're punishing us, and it's outrageous to me that they can just rack up a bill like that with absolutely no agreement between us for that, then send it on to the other funeral company to be added to their invoice for the bank, without a word to us. So current funeral director asked me whether I wanted him to add it to their invoice, and I said no, could they send it to me? Because this was unacceptable and I wanted to challenge it. That I hadn't decided on making a complaint against that company before, but that I sure wanted to now, and was there like an ombudsman for funeral companies? He said there is absolutely an association, and agreed to send that invoice to me.

So I called that funeral company. Made it clear I was wanting to make a complaint, checking they were registered with the National Association of Funeral Directors and that I wanted the names of the two people who had contacted me on the 27th, wanted to make a formal complaint in writing about their handling of this business, and the bill they'd tried to sneak into the co-op's invoice, when I had specifically asked about a deadline for having another funeral company take mum into their care, and they'd failed to tell me about this expensive daily charge despite my specifically asking.

I got a more junior member of staff I think, who tried to placate me and said she'd put me through to a manager in their financial department, and I was passed to one, who said it was normal for there to be a charge to take someone into their care, but that normally the funeral company waives that and doesn't pass that cost onto the families, tried to shift the blame onto co-op, saying that they've also received invoices from co-op including daily charges, that they cover themselves and don't add to an invoice for the families to pay. But it sounds very much like they were 'Extracting the Michael', thinking they could get away with it, and being vindictive since we hadn't finished paying dad's bill yet. She said she'd look into it, and get those daily charges waived - and that if it was okay with me, she'd get in touch with co-op, and investigate how those calls to me on the 227th had been handled. That she is a manager there, and didn't have in the notes who had spoken to me, but that she'd look into it, contact co-op, then give me a call back on Tuesday.

It just seems like headache after heartache, one after another, more and more problems and expenses cropping up. But this feels very wrong on every level, and I'm now in a fighting mood and ready to tackle them. This isn't okay.

@TwoTankAmin @GaryE @Essjay @Alice B @Colin_T @CaptainBarnicles

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

Oh matey...what a drama as if losing a loved one wasn't enough to deal with