AM I too easily offended ?

[mrV]

I have seen first hand how people dont like it if you say stuff they dont like and they even become bitter about it..

You are absolutely right! I have also seen it many times, when e.g. beginner start asking "Can I have these, these and these fishes, this fish is also cool.." and you give an answer "No, you can't have those in your tank." Second answer is many time "Ok, they are just fish and I do what I like to do!" I think it's very irresponsible behaviour - not adult at all.

 

[nightlife20]

im gonna go off topic here.......


but i think ur all NUTS!





but i do love u guys


oh yeah... julia, dont worry hun, just let it all go over ur head... i myself have gotten involved in a few heated topics... and i didnt like that fact that the person didnt understand the reason for my post on his subject (but being me i wouldnt back down ).... but a few other ppl did understand and answered along with it... in the end it turned out into a big tavern brawl and eveyone got heatd... its best to just back away... iv now learned that

 

[kribs mate]

I have seen first hand how people dont like it if you say stuff they dont like and they even become bitter about it..

You are absolutely right! I have also seen it many times, when e.g. beginner start asking "Can I have these, these and these fishes, this fish is also cool.." and you give an answer "No, you can't have those in your tank." Second answer is many time "Ok, they are just fish and I do what I like to do!" I think it's very irresponsible behaviour - not adult at all.

i totally agree

aslo if someone thought i was doing something very wrong i would listen to their opinion and not just try to justify myself with stupid reasons. I would think there may well be a lot of truth in it for someone to take the time to post about it.

also if i post a huge signiture with all my tank stock in it for the whole world to see and people tried to offer me advice i would not moan about it. but i would certainly expect it if i shoved it in eveyones face on every post i made.

this just doesnt make sense to me.

 

[Kribensis]

To be honest if i may stick my oar in here, i find this site very clicky and non too friendly, i also am a member of other forum's and have made some good friends, but on here, all i have had are snidy comments, i have been fish keeping along time and get fed up when ppl who don't even know me, my fish or my tanks question my ability.

 

[nightlife20]

i totally agree

aslo if someone thought i was doing something very wrong i would listen to their opinion and not just try to justify myself with stupid reasons. I would think there may well be a lot of truth in it for someone to take the time to post about it.

also if i post a huge signiture with all my tank stock in it for the whole world to see and people tried to offer me advice i would not moan about it. but i would certainly expect it if i shoved it in eveyones face on every post i made.

this just doesnt make sense to me.

at the end of the day there is a way to say it, the way is NOT to post an un-asked for topic about it for everyone to see, the Way to do it is the pm them if u have somthing like this to say.

and can i just ask.... if this person didnt ask U for UR opinion... what right do u have giving it? imo thats rude an uncalled for.

 

[nightlife20]

To be honest if i may stick my oar in here, i find this site very clicky and non too friendly, i also am a member of other forum's and have made some good friends, but on here, all i have had are snidy comments, i have been fish keeping along time and get fed up when ppl who don't even know me, my fish or my tanks question my ability.

if this site was all u say,

1)why do u still post here?
2) why are they constantly getting new members
3) why isnt it a 'ghost' board?


when u attack someone who is well liked, looks after her fish, has NO problems with her tank, and who continualy helps ppl... then please be expected to have a few harsh comments back.

 

[kribs mate]

well before i gave my actual opinion that seemed to offend everyone i went through these stages.

I hope you dont mind me asking

the reply was

Don't mind at all

i then replied politely agian. i still dont see how i was being rude.

hope i'm wrong but i would think you could end up with some problems later on.

perhaps im too cautious. Good luck

i then had this invitation to give my opinion (that you all say was rude and not asked for...there is the invitation in my eyes)

Thanks for your concern, the tanks seem to be ok for now and the fish have enough room. I don't go for inch per gallon, I go on parameters and how the fish look in the tank.

Are you worried about a fish in particular?

so i gave my opinion and my concerns like asked and got a right load of grief for it

can you please point out which part of my conversation was rude please?

or is this how all newcomers are welcomed or is it just newcomers who have their own mind that are not tollerated?

this has really annoyed me

 

[CFC]

To be honest if i may stick my oar in here, i find this site very clicky and non too friendly, i also am a member of other forum's and have made some good friends, but on here, all i have had are snidy comments, i have been fish keeping along time and get fed up when ppl who don't even know me, my fish or my tanks question my ability.

If thats the way you feel then why do you continue to post here? I was away on holiday when you joined but since returning every time i see your name pop up in a topic it has been to take a snipe at somebody. Just because someones method of fish keeping doesnt conform to the ideal that you have set yourself it doesnt make it wrong. As long as the fish are healthy and the water parameters are good then its all good. Of course if someone posts that they have large growing or aggressivly territorial fish in a tank that is way too small then its ok to point out that the fish they have are not suitable for their tank and that they should upgrade or return the fish but the majority of fish sold in lfs around the world can be mixed and matched without problems, i have kept many apperently incompatable fish together without problems.
Also keeping fish for a long time doesnt make you a good fish keeper, i have a work collegue who has been keeping fish for over 20 years but still swears that you should only change water once every 6 months and that fish will only grow as large as the tank you give them.

 

[cometcattle]

I'm starting to see the future. I'm seeing a another locked thread.

 

[nightlife20]

i have a work collegue who has been keeping fish for over 20 years but still swears that you should only change water once every 6 months and that fish will only grow as large as the tank you give them.

haha wonder if its the same person who i know...

he seems to think a nice plam sized angel will live nicley in a 2 ft tank with 5 swordtails 10 neon tetras and one large pleco.... oh and dont forget the 12-15 shrimp

 

[kribs mate]

in reply to the reply about kribensis. i know for a fact that she was quite upset about the way she was treated on here and if you are made to feel that way then i guess your own comments come out a little harsh because of that.

instantly after joining this board she recieved pm's that were not very nice from a certain member and its hardly supprising she acted the way she did.
As a moderator i would not really expect you to condone this sort of behaviour on your forum. it was not very pleasent at all.

i was not put off. but i am a little more thick skinned than most (luckily) i will continue to offer advice to anyone who wants or needs it if i can. unless i am not welcome here. afterall i was actually said i should be banned. i really dont know why so many people have such a hang up and take things so personally.

 

[CFC]

Did either of you make a complaint to a moderator or admin about the PM's you recieved? We do operate a no personal harassment policy on this board which extends into the PM system and includes making topics which are directed at a single member, if a member or members is/are harrasing you then it will be dealt with, starting flame wars will not be accepted.
Of course you are welcome to post here and im sure your experience will be greatly appreciated when given in advise to those who actually want it.

 

[kribs mate]

Of course you are welcome to post here and im sure your experience will be greatly appreciated when given in advise to those who actually want it.

well that thread that seemed to get me in so much trouble (i still dont know why?) and this thread dont really equate to much of my post count so i am pretty sure i have given out SOME advice where it was asked for. i have bit my tongue like mad after that post as i have seen numerous sigs with shocking mixes of fish etc.. but obviously its a touchy subject

I'm pretty sure kribensis did complain about her abusive pm's but im not 100%

 

[Kribensis]

I decided not to "grass" up the offender as i don't like tittle tattling, but this person has continued to get rather personal, i don't want to "run" away, why should i, i have not actually done anything wrong, but everytime i post it seems as though everybody has something against me, and that is not fair, to the point where i feel like why should i post anymore. I came to help and advise and maybe make a few friends but obviously i'm not getting that, the person who has been offensive has been banned off another forum because of his attack on me.

Here read this http/fish.orbust.net/forums/index.php?sh...pic=29093&st=16

 

[Kribensis]

I did actually PM Inchworm though, maybe she can update you on what i said.