What are you doing today?

[Colin_T]

I don't know what to do about the situation upstairs.

Just put the recycling boxes out and the girl was under the tree outside, shaking, crying and in a right state

Can she take out a restraining order against him?
She can go to a court house and get a magistrate to write a restraining order and the cops will throw him out. You can go with her as a witness to support her case. If he goes near her or the unit after that, he gets arrested and goes to prison. This would give her a few months to organise somewhere else to live and get her stuff out of there.

If he works, then she could move out during the day when he's not there.

Maybe find out if she has family or friends she can stay with and get them to help her move her stuff out when he's not home one day.

Not sure if the council will help her move her stuff but they might know someone who can.

She needs to get out of there or someone needs to take him out of the picture permanently. Wrong country otherwise I have a few friends that could sort him out.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Can she take out a restraining order against him?
She can go to a court house and get a magistrate to write a restraining order and the cops will throw him out. You can go with her as a witness to support her case. If he goes near her or the unit after that, he gets arrested and goes to prison. This would give her a few months to organise somewhere else to live and get her stuff out of there.

If he works, then she could move out during the day when he's not there.

Maybe find out if she has family or friends she can stay with and get them to help her move her stuff out when he's not home one day.

Not sure if the council will help her move her stuff but they might know someone who can.

She needs to get out of there or someone needs to take him out of the picture permanently. Wrong country otherwise I have a few friends that could sort him out.

I have been back in touch with the council who own the flats and they are processing a breach of tenancy on him for domestic violence, they (and I) have also contacted a locally based domestic violence support organisation who will be taking her case and working with her to find suitable accomodation and to support her with the help of police and social services.

Unfortunately it is not something that can be done overnight, so its going to take a few days...and with a Bank Holiday this weekend...its going to be a long process but she is now in the system and he will be dealt with. Until its all sorted and everything is in place its a waiting game and hope things do not escalate further in the meantime.

Its just so hard to do anything and feeling helpless knowing that she is in there and dealing with it all.

 

[Naughts]

Crazy system If she wants to go (I think statistically victims leave their abuser an average of 7 times- they have been worn down emotionally), then she should get somewhere to stay now not in a few days when she could be dead.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Crazy system If she wants to go (I think statistically victims leave their abuser an average of 7 times- they have been worn down emotionally), then she should get somewhere to stay now not in a few days when she could be dead.

She is too frightened @Naughts

She is a teenager with learning difficulties, the male has totally controlled her every move, he intimidates her, he threatens her, he has told her infront of me and others that she is lucky to have a bloke in her life....

As someone who has been in her situation, its not easy to just get up and leave, especially when controlled like that and cut off from friends and family by an abuser

 

[Colin_T]

As someone who has been in her situation, its not easy to just get up and leave, especially when controlled like that and cut off from friends and family by an abuser

That's what my sister did to me. She threatened any of my friends that came around and destroyed the phone book so I didn't have contact details for anyone.

Mind games, manipulation and assaults. And it gets worse the longer it goes on for.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

That's what my sister did to me. She threatened any of my friends that came around and destroyed the phone book so I didn't have contact details for anyone.

Mind games, manipulation and assaults. And it gets worse the longer it goes on for.

Its just very worrying knowing that she is up there with him and although I have done the best that I can to make sure the right people are aware, it still does not feel I have done enough...if that makes sense.

 

[GaryE]

Its just very worrying knowing that she is up there with him and although I have done the best that I can to make sure the right people are aware, it still does not feel I have done enough...if that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense to me. Those situations are awful, and the way help seems to come so slowly is agonizing for everyone but the abuser.

In my years teaching kids, I can't tell you how many nights I didn't sleep waiting for the police to catch men who'd raped kids, or waiting for someone with the right resources at hand to act on other types of abusers or other crises. I've always been a person others brought their troubles to, and I still have the odd nightmare in which I have learned something awful is happening in a kid's life, and I can't get any resources to help. It's the work stress dream that keeps happening a year after I left the job. In our schools here, budget cuts are more valued than maintaining resources to act quickly.

 

[Colin_T]

Its just very worrying knowing that she is up there with him and although I have done the best that I can to make sure the right people are aware, it still does not feel I have done enough...if that makes sense.

Yeah it makes sense. Unfortunately it takes time for paper shufflers to do their thing before anyone is allowed to act. So you have sleepless nights waiting until something gets done and hope the girl doesn't get killed in the mean time.

I kind of miss the old days where the cops would take a club to offenders, and spread the word in prison that inmate x is a kiddy molester. Then let the inmates deal with it. Or a group of guys would go round and beat the crap out of the guy and put him in hospital with threats of don't come back or your off to the morgue.

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

Made this 48-hour rise Foccaccia with confit garlic, confit tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, and rosemary.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

Made this 48-hour rise Foccaccia with confit garlic, confit tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, and rosemary.View attachment 165374

Holy moly that looks delicious I love bread so so so much. I make a really nice black olive one...the problem is I find it incredibly difficult to share

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Made this 48-hour rise Foccaccia with confit garlic, confit tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, and rosemary.View attachment 165374

I'll be right over.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

I'll be right over.

Not if I get there first

 

[connorlindeman]

Early this morning while I was on the couch reading, I saw a mouse run out of the kitchen.
I scared it back in them me and my dad had to tear apart the kitchen trying to find it and get it outside.
After about and hour of searching we finally were able to get it outside.

 

[Rocky998]

Not if I get there first

Too late.... Already ate it all

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

Too late.... Already ate it all

You greedy little pig




That's what I was going to do