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Last One To Post Here Wins Thread 2

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Yew just can't beat a good tree pun - they're always poplar. They really spruce up the last one to post here wins thread.
 
I think we should take a vote on the best and worst pun.
 
My vote goes to TLM for his inventive use of sycamore.... if anyone gives a fig :p
 
All of these puns acorn (y) ! 
 
If you burned all these tree puns you'll only end up with ash........
 
My 3yo smacked his head on the fireplace last night.  A lovely evening spent in A&E....  He's fine now though.  He miraculously perked right up when he got a ride in an ambulance!
 
Oh deep joy, an evening in A&E.
 
I remember having to take one of my kids up to ours when he was about 18months (he's 14 now), he had come of his little ride-on car in the garden, his forehead had landed on a stone, and he had a small wound that was deeper than it was long.
 
So there he was in the playroom, happy as Larry, for 2 hours (it was a Saturday, so perhaps I should be grateful it was only 2 hours), then they call him. X-Rays showed nothing major, so they call the Maxilofacial blokey to stitch up the gash.
 
Clearly, the Maxo man had never stitched up an 18month old child before. He gets the needle of local anaesthetic, fills it up, does the old spurt-out thing that they always do with needles, right in front of him. HE SCREAMS THE PLACE DOWN! So Maxo-man says that he may have to give him a general if he can't sit still.
 
Now, I am not 100% keen on this idea, and I let him know this. I may have not been particularly polite when doing so. I may also have pointed out that he was, shall we say, unwise to do the needle thing right in front of his face. I certainly did mention that if he believed he is not capable of stitching a child without using general anaesthetic, then perhaps it might be worthwhile seeking the attentions of more senior member of his department. Again, I may not have used the most pleasant of language.
 
He reckons he needs to do two layers of stitches, since it is quite a deep wound. So I sit down, sat little'un on my lap, his arms gripped under my armpits, head clamped against my chest using both hands. Little'un is, shall we say, unconvinced that the procedure is entirely necessary, and is struggling like a trapped wildcat. He's crying, I'm crying. Unpleasant.
 
at least it sounds like you got to the root of the problem
 
Aw that's not a nice thing at all TLM, not when they're that young.
 
I have to say that mine was a little trooper.  He screamed for about 20 minutes after he gashed his head but but when we got him to hospital he was good as gold.  The doctor decided that they would 'glue' his head instead of using stitches as the wound was not that deep.  Still I could see him clenching his little fists and gritting his teeth as they cleaned the wound and applied the glue, but he was determined not to cry.  What a little star!

Also, with due respect to any doctors who may be lurking, I do believe that many of them are too quick to take the 'easy' way out - such as suggesting general anaesthetic to pacify a young child or trying to rush me into a caesarean for my first baby.  In the end I had to appeal to the midwife and she checked the baby and said a c-section wasn't necessary.  By that time the doctors already had me trussed up in a surgical gown with a drip stuck in the back of my hand.  Fortunately I escaped an unnecessary surgery, thanks to the sympathetic midwife.
 
Been there, done that folks.
 
Fortunately, when we took my little tike to the ER (A&E, US version) he was about 3, maybe 4.  I can't recall.  Anyway, he fell in the house and hit his head on a A/C return.  Nice little gash on the top of his head.
 
The bleeding stops before we get him to see the doctor to seal the wound.  Meanwhile, he's bouncing around the ER like a jackrabbit, and my wife and I are feeling like fools for having brought him. 
 
Fortunately for us, he didn't get stitches.  Since it would be covered by hair, a little scar wasn't a big deal at all.  They used two staples.  My wife and I thought stitches would be better, but the doctor reassured us that this was better.  No need for anesthetic, so no needle.  I said, won't it hurt?  They said, the pain will be from holding them down more than the staples themselves.  I held him down and she stapled twice... He yelled, "Dad you're squeezing too hard!!!"  And it was over.  I'm not even sure he was aware that they put staples in his head.  I know this: He doesn't remember it.
 
eaglesaquarium said:
I held him down and she stapled twice... He yelled, "Dad you're squeezing too hard!!!"
 
That made me laugh out loud! :)
 
I know what you mean about feeling foolish for bringing him - there were some obviously seriously sick kids in A&E while ours was happily playing with a sticker book, but it's so hard to tell with head injuries.
 
daizeUK said:
I held him down and she stapled twice... He yelled, "Dad you're squeezing too hard!!!"
 
That made me laugh out loud! :)
 
I know what you mean about feeling foolish for bringing him - there were some obviously seriously sick kids in A&E while ours was happily playing with a sticker book, but it's so hard to tell with head injuries.
Yeah. I think I squeezed him harder as I saw the stapler coming closer to him. I didn't want him jumping at the last moment. :lol:
Looking back, taking him was certainly the right thing, as it was in all these cases. It's amazing how resilient kids can be sometimes.
 
I'm winning because I'm about to go to the airport to take a plane to Orlando :p
 
daizeUK said:
 Still I could see him clenching his little fists and gritting his teeth as they cleaned the wound and applied the glue, but he was determined not to cry.  What a little star!

 
 
Ah, bless!
 
daizeUK said:
 
I held him down and she stapled twice... He yelled, "Dad you're squeezing too hard!!!"
 
That made me laugh out loud!
smile.png

 
 
Me too!
 
TallTree01 said:
I'm winning because I'm about to go to the airport to take a plane to Orlando
tongue2.gif
 
No, you're not.
 
Lunar Jetman said:
 
 


I'm winning because I'm about to go to the airport to take a plane to Orlando
tongue2.gif
 
No, you're not.
 
 
No, he's not is he...
 


 No, you're right, he's not.
 
TallTree01 said:
I'm winning because I'm about to go to the airport to take a plane to Orlando :p
I'm going to Orlando tomorrow
 
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