Whats The Best Joke You Have Heard?

[fluttermoth]

and another....Cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind the stars and beneath the hills. Ends life and kills laughter.mind plexers?

Time (good old Tolkien )

It doesn't make sense but it's all I got. Here's some more|----------------|||||___________|Inside(that is a fail of a box.)LLIHI gotta think of some more good ones.G L A S SAww the last one didn't work the way I wanted I guess I'll make it this then. GLASS

Broken glass?

 

[micko]

What goes up a chimney down, but cannot come down a chimney up ?

Smoke

 

[mike455555]

Time (good old Tolkien )

good answer but not what i was thinking ;p

 

[fluttermoth]

What goes up a chimney down, but cannot come down a chimney up ?

An umbrella

Time (good old Tolkien )

good answer but not what i was thinking ;p

Death?

 

[mike455555]

Time (good old Tolkien )

good answer but not what i was thinking ;p

Death?

nope but along the same lines ;p

 

[Dieses Madchen]

Two men walked into a bar.....The third man ducked.

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get out of here! We don't serve ropes here!" So the rope leaves. When the rope got home, he tied himself in a knot and unraveled his ends and went back to the bar. The bartender says "Wait a minute! Aren't you that rope I already through out of here?!?!"
"Nope," replied the rope. "Fraid Knot."

 

[DevotedToDiscus]

Paddy says to Mick "can you spell orange" Mick said "the fruit or the colour?"

 

[Crossfire]

So a man goes to the doctors, and the doctor says "You have alzheimers and cancer" the old man replies "well at least i dont have cancer"

 

[DevotedToDiscus]

My mate was diagnosed as a mute today.... I thought; "stone me.....he kept that quiet"..!!!

 

[DevotedToDiscus]

I was in the kitchen looking for that thing for pealing the potatoes today.............................. and then I found a note from her saying that she'd left me!

 

[DevotedToDiscus]

I spent the day at the driving range.......and ended up at the doctors because I had a golf ball stuck up my butt..................Doctor took one look at it and said "Jez, that's up a fairway"

 

[Paradise3]

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?

There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?

Cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind the stars and beneath the hills. Ends life and kills laughter.

Darkness.

 

[XeroTolerance]

Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view

Yo mama so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

 

[Dieses Madchen]

Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view

Yo mama so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

You momma so stupid when i said it was chilly outside, she went and got a bowl

 

[Man of fish]

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her pants on her driveway. Yo mama so dumb she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
Yo mama so fat when she walks by in a yellow shirt the kids scream "it's the school bus!!"