Want You To Be Honest Here

[Davo86]

surely you were asking the basic questions once though
not aimed at anybody but if somebody didnt ask the basic questions and then put an oscar in an uncycled 20 gallon then you would only get annoyed and think they were an idiot at moan at them for not researching

I think its not as much asking a basic question its asking a basic question and then not liking the answer they are given so keep asking until someone says something remotely similar to what they wanted to hear in the first place

 

[waterdrop]

My real life is filled with computer screens doing computer code and research and all sorts of interruptions and communications. I love having a TFF screen open because its a great escape, being so totally different! Whenever someone comes in to the forum and seems mostly to be taking rather than giving or seems rude, I usually try to have the thought that I probably really don't know this person's real life, that perhaps they have problems or worries that I know nothing about. So I figure that perhaps the hobby, which can be so calming, or some of the nice people here will maybe be a good thing eventually for this person and I try to help them.

Of course, sometimes trying to be helpful or understanding just doesn't seem to work or not that one can see and so you just have to move on. Its kind of like a lot of other things where everyone comes away with a few special connections or a few special moments or things they've learned. It -is- kind of amazing how people will sometimes persue what they want to hear, regardless of other types of information being presented, isn't it?

~~waterdrop~~

 

[indigoj]

It's not the asking genuine questions that is an issue. It is the asking the same basic question over and over until you hear what you want to hear not what is right that bugs me.

That and people asking basic stuff rather than have a read of the stickies or other recent threads - IMO that's just lazy.

I really appreciate the help I get here - my Oscar would probably have died without the oscar clubbers advice - and I try to be as patient as I can with repetitive posters.

I love people asking qustions and getting the right advice before making mistakes, or after so they can put them right. I think it is good manners to have checked recent threads/stickies to see if the same question has been answered already, not listening to advice when it is good advice bugs me and a simple 'thanks' costs nothing.

 

[Vengeful Silence]

People want to do what they want to do, but they lack the courage to do it without someone telling them they can. If they can find just one person to tell them that what they want to do is okay, then reality will bend and what they want to do is okay. Then they wonder why it didn't work. lol

Thanks costs nothing, but you have to look at someone besides yourself to realize you ought to express your thanks. That's where a lot of people get hung up.

 

[star4]

Firstly I would like to say Thank you to all who have advised me on questions (I do try and say thanks in the thread, but I dont always get back till the following day).

My question is how do you know the information you are giving is correct? (this is not aimed at anyone, and I do not wish to offend). I spend time looking on the net for information about all sorts of aquatic things from plants to filters and fish. I cannot remember what the subject was now, but I read something on the net and someone asked the question on here. I answered the person and was quickly told I was wrong?? people get told allsorts of things and read up all sorts of things so who is correct?

 

[shelaghfishface]

People want to do what they want to do, but they lack the courage to do it without someone telling them they can. If they can find just one person to tell them that what they want to do is okay, then reality will bend and what they want to do is okay. Then they wonder why it didn't work. lol

Thanks costs nothing, but you have to look at someone besides yourself to realize you ought to express your thanks. That's where a lot of people get hung up.

dont thin its a hang up to be honest .. manners are forgtten as someone said, im certainly not hung up cos no one thanked me, im miffed that mambers jump in and get going then report dead n illness even tho we devote hours after hours and on my part pm`g people that could hellp. net reasearch etc etc,

 

[star4]

People want to do what they want to do, but they lack the courage to do it without someone telling them they can. If they can find just one person to tell them that what they want to do is okay, then reality will bend and what they want to do is okay. Then they wonder why it didn't work. lol

This I can relate to when trying to find out if I could keep Fronotosa's with common plecs out of the info on the net and other forums its worked out 48% said yes 50% said no and the other 2% said try it and see?

 

[shelaghfishface]

Firstly I would like to say Thank you to all who have advised me on questions (I do try and say thanks in the thread, but I dont always get back till the following day).

My question is how do you know the information you are giving is correct? (this is not aimed at anyone, and I do not wish to offend). I spend time looking on the net for information about all sorts of aquatic things from plants to filters and fish. I cannot remember what the subject was now, but I read something on the net and someone asked the question on here. I answered the person and was quickly told I was wrong?? people get told allsorts of things and read up all sorts of things so who is correct?

its never easy bagu, we have to strive to confilct/ agree with old school. new school. we all agree that FC is the way to go.. then again ive never taken part in one so who am i to advise.. so i dont.. i often advise on things ive been thru, there are members that will tell you straight off yes/no........ well look at theyre history. ae they generally good at giving advice? is there own EX ok
i tell anyone that asks i DONT do stocking questions.... but the likes of Minxfishy do ..and do them bloody well!
this sint meant to turn into a i want petty thanks issue, theres a lot more to it than that..

 

[NaughtyT]

Yep i tend to only advise on stuff i know about because i have been through it,i won't advise if its just something i have read.

 

[bagu]

its never easy bagu, we have to strive to confilct/ agree with old school. new school. we all agree that FC is the way to go.. then again ive never taken part in one so who am i to advise.. so i dont.. i often advise on things ive been thru, there are members that will tell you straight off yes/no........ well look at theyre history. ae they generally good at giving advice? is there own EX ok
i tell anyone that asks i DONT do stocking questions.... but the likes of Minxfishy do ..and do them bloody well!
this sint meant to turn into a i want petty thanks issue, theres a lot more to it than that..

i agree, thanks Shelagh =]

m hopeless with stocking options aswell, minx is a godsend lol ;D

 

[Dogson]

Interesting read and I can see where you are all coming from!
I have asked many questions and received some great advice from Shelagh, Jenclibee, waterdrop, Davo, Mrs Wiggle and many many more members just to name a few!

I lost a Pearl Gourami today and I blame you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I am joking I blame only myself and i'm just trying to cheer myself after the death of Pearl

It's friday, end of the month, still not been paid and could do with a

 

[oswoldy]

What is more annoying is when someone asks for advice, you and others give them the same advice however this is not what the original poster wants to hear so they post the same question again but worded slightly differently.

Mike

 

[JenCliBee]

Firstly I would like to say Thank you to all who have advised me on questions (I do try and say thanks in the thread, but I dont always get back till the following day).

My question is how do you know the information you are giving is correct? (this is not aimed at anyone, and I do not wish to offend). I spend time looking on the net for information about all sorts of aquatic things from plants to filters and fish. I cannot remember what the subject was now, but I read something on the net and someone asked the question on here. I answered the person and was quickly told I was wrong?? people get told allsorts of things and read up all sorts of things so who is correct?

The simple answer to your question is experience, the net is often wrong look at wiki for instance, just take a look you will understand. Question you may have asked may be wrong, maybe right some questions dont actually have an answer persae they are trial an error to what works for you the keeper the hobbyist, i think the general thread shell was trying to make was basic questions with common sense basic answers which they is only a yes or no answer to... and follow on advice is given to either try correct a mistake or make heads nor tails of what there actually asking.... you give them facts or your own experience or even experiences youve read from others but yet they still question it.

I agree shell some people ask but dont like the answer, makes you think why they ask in the first place if they THINK they already know better than you/us... the forum members.


anyways hope that made sense... trying to explain is far from my best quality (my bum is pmsl)

 

[shelaghfishface]

yeah cheers all, guess we1re all in the sam eboat then.. info is good n uptake is poor

Interesting read and I can see where you are all coming from!
I have asked many questions and received some great advice from Shelagh, Jenclibee, waterdrop, Davo, Mrs Wiggle and many many more members just to name a few!

I lost a Pearl Gourami today and I blame you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I am joking I blame only myself and i'm just trying to cheer myself after the death of Pearl

It's friday, end of the month, still not been paid and could do with a

i really saw the funny side, but pull ur bloody finger out!!!

 

[dthoffsett]

I think a big reason manners have gone out the window is that the internet is impersonal. If you've asked someone for advice face-to-face you feel obligated to thank them (well, you do if you've been taught any manners at all that is), while a screen requires nothing of you. It's sad, but IMO seems to be true. I always try to remember that a thank you costs you nothing but can reward you greatly.

As for the repetitive posters looking for the answer they want, that's pretty much the reason I quit posting on most of the forum. I found myself getting so frustrated and rather than take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it, right or wrong I stepped back. Fortunately there are more patient people on here to help. Now I mostly hang out in the Old World section answering stocking questions and ID requests. It's sad, I couldn't stock a "standard" community tank to save my life, but I could throw together a mbuna tank to knock your eyes out.

star4 - No one is completely right, it's all about experience. Books are written based on the experience gained or researched by the author, same thing with different websites including TFF. The advantage to getting advice from a place like this is that you literally have thousands of people's experiences at your finger tips. Chances are if 30 people have had the same or similar results from something (like say mbuna don't mix with neons) then you can feel pretty confident that it will or won't work. Where as a book or a static description on the net can't give you that. Besides, as with any "hobby" involving live animals, knowledge constantly evolves. By the time that next book is written, common practices have likely changed.

Great thread Shelagh, sometimes you need to vent a little steam before you can get back in the game. And, perhaps a few people will read this and learn from it, that's all you can hope for really. -Dawn