Tell me something funny

[Rocky998]

 

[TwoTankAmin]

A man walks into a tailor shop in Athens, Greece with a torn pair of pants which he hands to the tailor who asks, "Euripides?" The man nods and replies, "Eumenedes?"

 

[davros]

You dug deep for that one, Vaudville, 2 Ronnies?

 

[WhistlingBadger]

A man walks into a tailor shop in Athens, Greece with a torn pair of pants which he hands to the tailor who asks, "Euripides?" The man nods and replies, "Eumenedes?"

Go to your room

 

[TwoTankAmin]

No- I heard that one about 40 years ago for the first time.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

I love puns, the harder they make you groan, the better they are.

Any contract signed on X-mas day must, by law, contain a Sanity Clause.
Of course when it comes to a puns, the first two letters are P. U.
A man who needed surgery to remove his left leg had the hospital make a mistake and they amputated the wrong leg. The man sued the hospital. But the case was thrown out of court because he didn't have a leg to stand on.

If at first you don't succeed, try a gun......

A man who was having problems sleep due to odd dreams went to see his doctor. The man explained that one night he would dream he was a wigwam and the next night he would dream he was aTeepee. He asked if the doctor could help explain what was going on and this was really bothering him and making sleeping though the night difficult. The doctor said it was simple, the problem was that he was two tents.

 

[Fishmanic]

I love puns, the harder they make you groan, the better they are.

Any contract signed on X-mas day must, by law, contain a Sanity Clause.
Of course when it comes to a puns, the first two letters are P. U.
A man who needed surgery to remove his left leg had the hospital make a mistake and they amputated the wrong leg. The man sued the hospital. But the case was thrown out of court because he didn't have a leg to stand on.

If at first you don't succeed, try a gun......

A man who was having problems sleep due to odd dreams went to see his doctor. The man explained that one night he would dream he was a wigwam and the next night he would dream he was aTeepee. He asked if the doctor could help explain what was going on and this was really bothering him and making sleeping though the night difficult. The doctor said it was simple, the problem was that he was two tents.

Go to your room

No....don't send him to his room....send him to the bathroom for a timeout... His room has too many distractions...like tv, gaming device, aquariums, computer, stereo etc etc.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

It is a lot simpler than that.

I do not own a stereo. I play music via my PC which has decent speakers. I own exactly two CDs.
I am able to watch TV in my bathroom. And my wireless landline phone reaches there as well.
I do not need to look up most of what I post in this thread. I have lived a long time and this stuff was around before most here were born.

No, I have never lived in Middle Earth......................

And yes, I copy pasted the below:

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.

They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief said, "You betcha!"

When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."

The Rescue crew were shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"

The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"

The Chief replied, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you...you know...eat, their...'things'?"

The chief says, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuer.

"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."

 

[Fishmanic]

Go to you closet...NOW

 

[davros]

younguns: Best I can tell "Things go better with Coke" ad campaign ended early 1970's

 

[TwoTankAmin]

 

[jaylach]

I hoped that this is OK to post. Really don't think there should be a problem but...

Way back in the early 1970's shopping malls and such started putting in pay toilets which, of course got a lot of graffiti. I'll never forget one I saw.

"Here I sit broken hearted.
Paid a dime and only farted."

 

[Fishmanic]

I hoped that this is OK to post. Really don't think there should be a problem but...

Way back in the early 1970's shopping malls and such started putting in pay toilets which, of course got a lot of graffiti. I'll never forget one I saw.

"Here I sit broken hearted.
Paid a dime and only farted."

You left out the required emoticon.
I can think of a lot worse bathroom stall graffiti from years ago, but we won't go there.

 

[sharkweek178]

 

[sharkweek178]