Tell me something funny

[Deleted member 149562]

 

[WhistlingBadger]

View attachment 168382

Reminds me of the old saying:
Live in such a way that when you are gone, others will be sad and you will rejoice. Not the other way around.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

Steven Wright Quotes:

What's another word for Thesaurus?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

 

[Rocky998]

Steven Wright Quotes:

What's another word for Thesaurus?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

I love Steven Wright!
He is hilarious

 

[WhistlingBadger]

How many kindergartners does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

[WhistlingBadger]

I GOT A NEW BIKE!!!

 

[JuiceBox52]

How many kindergartners does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many?

 

[JuiceBox52]

I GOT A NEW BIKE!!!

And you didn’t attach a photo!? Shame on you. What kind? I love my new bike haha it’s electric so I can actually use it

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Also this, from @Slaphppy7 . I find this weirdly hilarious--the surrealness of the situation, the solution they came up with, the dead-pan voice of the reporter, the sound of whale chunks hitting the ground. Just hits me funny. Might make you feel better about your problems, Juice: No matter what goes wrong, at least you aren't being showered with rotten whale blubber. Silver linings!

 

[WhistlingBadger]

And you didn’t attach a photo!? Shame on you. What kind? I love my new bike haha it’s electric so I can actually use it

No, that was the answer to my joke.

 

[Rocky998]

No, that was the answer to my joke.

Then I'm sorry but I don't understand lol

 

[WhistlingBadger]

OK, that turned into a mess. Let me try again.

Q: How many kindergarteners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I GOT A NEW BIKE!!!

Better? If you don't understand that, you've never worked around kindergarteners and I probably couldn't explain if I tried. Some things just have to be experienced.

 

[Rocky998]

OK, that turned into a mess. Let me try again.

Q: How many kindergarteners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I GOT A NEW BIKE!!!

Better? If you don't understand that, you've never worked around kindergarteners and I probably couldn't explain if I tried. Some things just have to be experienced.

Ok... So I think I get the meaning lol I THINK

 

[JuiceBox52]

No, that was the answer to my joke.

Ohhhh

 

[Rocky998]