Tell me something funny

Almost put this in Random Discussion but felt it was actually pretty funny.

I used to often take my son, about 10 years old at the time of this story, perch fishing. There was an area of Lake Erie a bit east of Cleveland that took the water outlet from the electric company so the water was always a bit warmer and perch were thick.

So this one day we go out all ready with minnows, worms and tackle boxes full of lures. I'm using all types of bait we have and several lures and can't even get a hit. This kid is getting a perch just about every time he throws out his line. One of those cases when you are proud that he is doing well but want to strangle at the same time. ;)

It got so bad that he even quit putting bait on his hook and STILL was catching perch on a bare hook! Thing is that the perch were usually fairly close to the surface for the warmth and he rigged with a float with about 6-8 inches beneath. He was also using a shiny gold colored hook that would catch the sun and flash. I guess the danged perch liked the flashing gold color that day. ;)

There is a moral here... No matter how old you are, and how young the person you are with, there is always something to be learned. :)

Another story that just struck me is one of those great ideas that just don't work. ;) When I was in my late teens some friends and I would go to a local river fishing at night for bullhead catfish. The real reason was to build a small fire and drink beer but we DID actually fish but that was mainly to maintain our cover. ;) Shoot, even the fire was not exactly legal but my step father was a firemen in the town and I partied with half the police. They know we were not going to burn down the town so pretty much just ignored us.

Anyway we are doing our thing and I get this great idea. I really didn't want to catch anything but wanted to know if there was something on the line so I could release. For these 'parties' I even filed off the barbs on the hooks. So I decide... Yes I was probably rather buzzed... to loop the fishing line once around my big toe. LOL! You already know where this is going. ;) Keep in mind that I was using light test monofilament line. Well a bullhead hit my line and didn't release. I thought this thing was going to cut off my toe! Definite ouch but no actual damage other than a little blood. LOL! As Forest Gump would say; "Stupid is what stupid does.".
 
I don't remember if I posted this vid in the thread before, so I may be repeating myself. I listened to the original radio show that was the inspiration for the movie in which the below was a part. You can still find the broadcasts on Youtube: "A Prairie Home Companion"

 
Was fishing with my youngest son, about 7 years old at the time, just off a sand bar in Lake Champlain. We were catching a variety of fish, mostly small mouth on jigs with trailers. On the other side of the sand bar was a fancy bass boat with a couple of fellas throwing all sorts of lures. Eventually they tooled over to us and introduced themselves and saying they were getting ready for the Lake Champlain annual Father's Day fishing tournament which is a really big deal. They also mentioned they were from Mass.

After a bit of casual information, they asked the question what are you catching them on and what part of the bar are you fishing?

Youngest son looked at them for a moment and then piped up:

This part of the sand bar and then put his finger inside his mouth a pulled. Catching them right here he says!

We all had a great laugh and then I gave them some of the jigs and trailers we were using.
 
Another true fishing story

Was fishing where the Schroon River meets the Hudson River one morning. An older fella, (I was young at the time), was fishing on the same point opposite side.

I was catching smallish trout under 12 inches with abandon and tossing them back. The old feller came over after a bit and asked why I was tossing them back. To small for the fry pan says I. A little later I nabbed a fat 17-inch brown trout and after showing him off let him back into the river.

Why didn't you keep that came the question moments later. Too big for the pan I quipped. No more conversation that day from the angler.
 
The ABC Corporation

Memo:
To:
All Employees From: The Management

It has come to the attention of management that employees who are dying on the job are failing to fall down. This make it extremely difficult to tell the difference between those still working and those who have died. This has made it hard for the Payroll Department to make out weekly checks correctly.

Therefore, effective as of today, any employee who dies on the job and fails to fall down will be terminated immediately and will not be paid for the balance of the day.

Signed: The Management
 
The ABC Corporation

Memo:
To:
All Employees From: The Management

It has come to the attention of management that employees who are dying on the job are failing to fall down. This make it extremely difficult to tell the difference between those still working and those who have died. This has made it hard for the Payroll Department to make out weekly checks correctly.

Therefore, effective as of today, any employee who dies on the job and fails to fall down will be terminated immediately and will not be paid for the balance of the day.

Signed: The Management
Man! That is old but still good!
 

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