Hi all
So I think this a good subject to have going on here. To share thoughts or even your experience and to show others they are not alone!
My story
I have suffered with anxiety for quite a long time now. I should have been medicated long before I was but I was never aware that I suffered. I started pushing my husband and kids away, my family and I was coming home and sitting in my own little world. I would cry for days on end and find it hard to get out of bed. It wasn’t until someone who suffered from mental health that picked up on my emotions and told me that I need to see a doctor. I booked myself in and as I walked in the doctors office I fell to the ground in a heap flying words out in a jumble. I ended up on medication for sleeping and to help me with everyday life. I still had my off days but ended up worse down the track due to my meds not working properly and was put into see a psychologist and had my meds adjusted. Everything seemed to get better and I wasn’t to fond on the psychologist but did it as I was signed up. It wasn’t until 1st July 2019 that I got a message from my sister saying that the hospital had rang her stating our mum had been admit in to emergency surgery for internal bleeding. She was flown up by a helicopter on life support to one of the big hospitals in Brisbane. The next day we were advised that our mum had stage 4 gallbladder cancer and the bleeding was from the cancer puncturing her stomach and lower intestines due to its fast growing and aggression. Mum ended up having another internal bleed and we were told to come up as soon as possible. We were taken into the consulting room and advised that mum only had 24hrs to live and to say our goodbyes as they couldn’t do anything else. Well you could imagine how my health and my siblings and I well being went. Fortunately to the doctors surprise mum amazingly pulled through it. We took turns going up to shower and feed her and even sleeping at the hospital. The 5 months that we got extra with her was the hardest months I have ever gone through! There were times where we were given a slime chance of survival due to blood clots or her lungs and overdose of her meds as she was losing so much weight the weight to med ratio was to much for her. During this whole ordeal my mental health was a mess, my meds had to be adjusted twice, I took it out in my mum for my anxiety issues, I was just a totally different person! After mum passed on 31 Oct 2019, I just could handle it and I started drinking while popping sleeping tablets. I woke up in a fall daze one morning and went down to the shops, I almost crashed my car and pretty much couldn’t remember anything that happen that morning except what I have advised above. That was my turning point, I was at a breaking point of a nerves breakdown and I knew this is not what mum wanted for me. On the 16th Dec I decided to get off all my meds and stopped drinking. I went through the intense withdrawals of all the drugs my body was craving but powered through it. Today, I haven’t touched an anxiety drug, alcohol or sleeping tablets. I do have days were I struggle but I talk myself through it or find things to distract me.
Just remember it’s okay, not to be okay!!
So I think this a good subject to have going on here. To share thoughts or even your experience and to show others they are not alone!
My story
I have suffered with anxiety for quite a long time now. I should have been medicated long before I was but I was never aware that I suffered. I started pushing my husband and kids away, my family and I was coming home and sitting in my own little world. I would cry for days on end and find it hard to get out of bed. It wasn’t until someone who suffered from mental health that picked up on my emotions and told me that I need to see a doctor. I booked myself in and as I walked in the doctors office I fell to the ground in a heap flying words out in a jumble. I ended up on medication for sleeping and to help me with everyday life. I still had my off days but ended up worse down the track due to my meds not working properly and was put into see a psychologist and had my meds adjusted. Everything seemed to get better and I wasn’t to fond on the psychologist but did it as I was signed up. It wasn’t until 1st July 2019 that I got a message from my sister saying that the hospital had rang her stating our mum had been admit in to emergency surgery for internal bleeding. She was flown up by a helicopter on life support to one of the big hospitals in Brisbane. The next day we were advised that our mum had stage 4 gallbladder cancer and the bleeding was from the cancer puncturing her stomach and lower intestines due to its fast growing and aggression. Mum ended up having another internal bleed and we were told to come up as soon as possible. We were taken into the consulting room and advised that mum only had 24hrs to live and to say our goodbyes as they couldn’t do anything else. Well you could imagine how my health and my siblings and I well being went. Fortunately to the doctors surprise mum amazingly pulled through it. We took turns going up to shower and feed her and even sleeping at the hospital. The 5 months that we got extra with her was the hardest months I have ever gone through! There were times where we were given a slime chance of survival due to blood clots or her lungs and overdose of her meds as she was losing so much weight the weight to med ratio was to much for her. During this whole ordeal my mental health was a mess, my meds had to be adjusted twice, I took it out in my mum for my anxiety issues, I was just a totally different person! After mum passed on 31 Oct 2019, I just could handle it and I started drinking while popping sleeping tablets. I woke up in a fall daze one morning and went down to the shops, I almost crashed my car and pretty much couldn’t remember anything that happen that morning except what I have advised above. That was my turning point, I was at a breaking point of a nerves breakdown and I knew this is not what mum wanted for me. On the 16th Dec I decided to get off all my meds and stopped drinking. I went through the intense withdrawals of all the drugs my body was craving but powered through it. Today, I haven’t touched an anxiety drug, alcohol or sleeping tablets. I do have days were I struggle but I talk myself through it or find things to distract me.
Just remember it’s okay, not to be okay!!