Jokes - What You Got?

BethK

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Thought we could have a little giggle by posting our jokes, I'll start :good:

How do you annoy Lady GaGa?

Poke-her-face


:lol:

well, i thought it was funny :blush:
 
Little boy goes to his teacher. He says "miss can i go to the toilet, please?" His teacher replies "Tell me the alphabet first" So the little boy goes "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z" The teacher says "where was the P?" The little boy replies "Half way down my leg!" :lol:

Errrm.....
A blonde decides to go fishing in the nearest body of water in winter. She get's there and starts cutting a hole through the ice, when suddenly she hears a voice saying "Miss could you please get off the ice" She looks around and sees nothing so she carries on cutting. Then she hears the voice again, so she looks around again, sees nothing and carries on her merry way. She hears the voice a third time and shouts to the sky "God is that you?" The voice replies "No, it's the manager of the ice rink now please get off the ice!"

I meant no offence to any blondes btw. It's just joke i found.

A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman "You got any bread?" The barman replies "No it's a pub we only sell alchohol and crisps" The duck walks out. This carries on for a week and on the last day the duck walks into the bar and says "You got any bread?" The barman replies "LOOK I'VE TOLD YOU! WE.DON'T.SELL.BREAD!!! AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YA BEAK TO THE BAR!" The duck asks "Got any nails?" To this the barman is confused but he replies "No, why?" The duck says "Good! Got any bread?"

Alessa x.
 
Ricky astlley came to my house the other day and asked for a collection of pixar dvd's. I replied "here's toy story, finding nemo and cars, but I'm never going to give you Up"
 
just split up with my cross eyed girlfriend............im sure she was seing somebody else

errrrrm thats it really im a bit short on postable material :rolleyes:
 
Haha, I agree. I was gonna post them, until I remembered it had to be family friendly.
 
Doctor!! Doctor!!..... I think I'm Shrinking......... (Doctor says).... well!!!... you'll just have to be a little patient!
 
a guy walks into a bar and sits next to a woman and she sais oh i think you the father of one of my kids

he sais oh crud are you the one from behind burger king


shes sais no im his maths teacher ands leaves
 
I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man in my local.

All I can say is they smell so much cleaner than the gents.

:lol:
 
i won't be posting on the forum for a couple of weeks, i have just stole loads of inflatables.
























I gotta LILO.
 
A Japanese couple from a very small, traditional region of Japan finally get married. After the ceremony, they go back to his house to pick up some of his luggage for the honeymoon, but it is said that the must consummate the marriage first.

Now mind you, in small, traditional Japanese culture, the man's word is never questioned, and his wife's duty is to please him.

So, they consummate the marriage until he is satisfied. As they do so, their clothes go flying all over the room, and his crisp, white shirt lay on the floor.

Once they are finished, the wife gets up and begins to clean the mess immediately, as it is only proper not to leave a mess or clutter for her husband.

When she bends over to pick up his shirt, she accidentally farts. Once it registers what she has done, she becomes horrified. She looks back to her husband, whom still lie on the bed to see his expression. He obviously is not amused.

She fidgets for a split second, with her eyes wide open, she says, "So sorry hunny! Front part so happy, back part laugh out loud! ....".
 
^^^great first post!!

*high five*
 

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