I Think Im Depressed?

[GAB99]

well, i went to a website to be sure and i matched all but one of the criteria for being depressed and all but 3 for potential of suicide, which im not really surprised about very much as ive had some long time to think and i just feel awful almost all the time. i dont really know what to do about this but i dont want to go to a doctor or anything, and no im not gonna do suicide thats just dumb. im one of those kids that literally fits the "jokes" of 'you have no life' and 'you have no friends' as i truthfully dont and few i would call friend are far, far away. ive been described as one of those happy kids in the early years and 'what happended to that kid that used to be so happy' now.......

 

[Ludwig Venter]

well, i went to a website to be sure and i matched all but one of the criteria for being depressed and all but 3 for potential of suicide,

Hope you're not basing your emotions on a website quiz..... I once did the "how long will you live" thing, and it turned out I should've been dead 6 years ago....

i dont really know what to do about this

Well, Right there you're doing the right thing already by just talking about it.

but i dont want to go to a doctor or anything,

Hey!... reconsider... They're equipped with the means (and knowledge) to diagnose the core of your problem, and even better..... They even know how to treat the problem...(You're not unique... They deal with thousands of these situations)

and no im not gonna do suicide thats just dumb.

I'm Glad you've got that one sorted out!... Probably the dumbest thing I can think of.

im one of those kids that literally fits the "jokes" of 'you have no life' and 'you have no friends'

I once read the autobiography of Oprah, and those exact words also bothered her when she was around your age..... now go back to your profile and see the list of friends you have....

and 'what happended to that kid that used to be so happy' now.......

That happy kid is going through a phase, which every living person is confronted with at a certain age and is part of the metamorphoses of changing over through the different stages of life.... You're just on the verge of a change-over into the next phase.

But seriously... do the doctor thing... They can help.

 

[Kipsie]

Hey, I wanna take those quizzes.

 

[Assaye]

Seriously re-consider seeing a doctor. They can help and no, being depressed is not too minor and nor is it silly or a waste of their time.

Unaddressed depression can be incredibly debilitating if left untreated. Don't let it get that bad.

Even if they just give you some peace of mind, it's still worth going.

 

[jameshughes1989]

I think you should seek medical advice rather than stating this on a forum. Those quizzes are rubbish anyway, but if you feel this way, then speak to an expert.

 

[BethK]

'Self diagnosis' is not to be relied on at all, those types of sites really do make people feel worse.

Please see your doctor, depression is not laughed at and you would be surprised if you knew how common depression is these days. Everyone is entitled to have down periods, I'm a manic depressant and I'm not ashamed by it. It took me a while to actually get the guts up to visit the Dr's but I'm glad I did. They made me see that there is a 'light at the end of the tunnel' and they will help. You won't be forced to take medication, the dr will run through what is suited to your diagnosis.

Drugs are not a long term solution, they help stabilize your serotonin levels and 'balance you out'. Counseling is the other option, which should be taken, talking does really help people.

I would say PM me but my PM's are still not activated

I know it maybe hard to see a way forward but there is one, for now, it may help to write down in a diary, how you are feeling, it helps to release tension.

But please do see your GP, they will help you x

 

[The-Wolf]

being someone who was diagnosed with clinical depression I can say that doctors can and will help.
I also know what you are dealing with and you are more than welcome to private message me in the knowledge that
anything you say will be totally confidential.

I, like many others, am here for you if you need it.

 

[england]

Mate as said you are doing the right thing seeking help, Now either speak with your parent's/other family member you can trust or a friend you trust, friends you do not need to have millions of to have a good friend..

My neice at present is in the same boat as you mate, ive found out alot of things from her which actually brought me to tears of what she has actually tried and succeded in doing

I got her to sit down with me, after a few hours joking around and getting her to open up i was shocked, i told her to her face iam getting your mum involed now, then another few hours passed with lots of tears and home truths, after all this was brought into the open, we actually had a great evening, that next morning my sister took her to see the doctor,then went to the school to inform them and ask for extra help, this was only just under a month ago. Things since this are much better and doctors helping and school.

Seriously mate the best bet is to speak about it, hard i know..

Feel free to Pm me, where i shall go into more detail, but ultimately seek pro help mate, never take what anyone says on the internet as gospel, not even us.

We can reccomed advice but thats it, people can be pure evil about advice given, lord knows ive seen some wicked stuff on the internet which i cannot beleive on human would say to another

So as i said mail me,will reply when i get a chance, have you tried to speak with your parents?this is one of the hardest things, my sister reacted as i didnt exspect, however after i brought things to her attention she then changed instantly, please ensure you seek help, you obviously want help,and being here asking proves this, just promise us you will follow through, i lost a very good friend to suicide,this is probally why i concentrete that little harder with people, what led to his death will stay with me now, he tried to hard to be happy the day he died,which i only thought,wow he picked himself up quick,great to see him happy again,

 

[seffieuk]

my friend seek out a trusted teacher in school, they will help you find the correct person in school to help you, there is always someone they in turn can then talk through the issues and give you help with options. There will be a service that they can refer you to if you don't want to seek help from your GP. Let people help you, after all it's why they do the job, to help people

Keep talking, we are hear to listen

Seffie x

ps stop doing those online self assessment tools

 

[JoshuaA]

Hey,

I wouldn't worry about it, but at least speak to someone in person about it to clear things up. At 15 years old I wouldn't be surprised if it was just a teenager thing I went through exactly the same thing! The main cause I think was my father lived abroad and I played too many computer games! I got so out of touch with real life at times (No, I didn't play WoW, BF1942 all the time actually) that I just didn't ever do anything constructive. All my friends were the same and would prefer to play a game than play out.

Anyway it took some time I felt all down and "depressed" but then I picked up a hobby (Biking) that got me outside and doing something every or every other day! If you could do that to pick yourself up, find a friend or two and start something new something as simple as a sport and you will feel happier.

At 15 as you are and I was so not so long ago I honestly think its just a period of time a lot of us go through. Winter doesn't help AT ALL and it makes you feel even more down. In fact I get very down and upset when it goes into the winter months even with my girlfriend by my side each time the winter comes round my face goes down.

Just an additional tip:
Also make the most of High school, it's the best time of your life. probably 50% of my favourite memories in life have come from High school/College and that was a few years ago, I've walked along the great wall of china, I've stood on a glacier in austria, see the terracotta soldiers in person and nearly got killed in serbia by gangsters. After all those fabulous memories, most of them won't come close to my high school experience. It took so long to evolve into what I remember it as today, to filter out the friends to your best ones and enjoy yourself. To add onto that as well, I actually got bullied for about 50% of High school and well eventually It ended bad for the bully but it's about the friends you make and stick with. The friends you make now will probably be some of the friends you know for the rest of your life.

I highly recommend you talk to people in person about this whenever you get down explain, even your parents will help you out. Just don't over exaggerate or you won't get the response you're after.

Good Luck

Who's the man? You dddd Man

 

[GAB99]

ok this will be quite long but here goes

well, i went to a website to be sure and i matched all but one of the criteria for being depressed and all but 3 for potential of suicide,

Hope you're not basing your emotions on a website quiz..... I once did the "how long will you live" thing, and it turned out I should've been dead 6 years ago....

i dont really know what to do about this

Well, Right there you're doing the right thing already by just talking about it.

but i dont want to go to a doctor or anything,

Hey!... reconsider... They're equipped with the means (and knowledge) to diagnose the core of your problem, and even better..... They even know how to treat the problem...(You're not unique... They deal with thousands of these situations)

and no im not gonna do suicide thats just dumb.

I'm Glad you've got that one sorted out!... Probably the dumbest thing I can think of.

im one of those kids that literally fits the "jokes" of 'you have no life' and 'you have no friends'

I once read the autobiography of Oprah, and those exact words also bothered her when she was around your age..... now go back to your profile and see the list of friends you have....

and 'what happended to that kid that used to be so happy' now.......

That happy kid is going through a phase, which every living person is confronted with at a certain age and is part of the metamorphoses of changing over through the different stages of life.... You're just on the verge of a change-over into the next phase.

But seriously... do the doctor thing... They can help.

Hey, I wanna take those quizzes.

they werent one of those quizzes lol i went to a bunch of depression sites and just looked at all the signs....

Seriously re-consider seeing a doctor. They can help and no, being depressed is not too minor and nor is it silly or a waste of their time.

Unaddressed depression can be incredibly debilitating if left untreated. Don't let it get that bad.

Even if they just give you some peace of mind, it's still worth going.

well we have just moved so i techniqually dont have a doctor anyway, im my parents willtake me one for the physical needed for the tennis team though.... in spring.

I think you should seek medical advice rather than stating this on a forum. Those quizzes are rubbish anyway, but if you feel this way, then speak to an expert.

again it wasnt really a quiz and i have yet to get a doctor

'Self diagnosis' is not to be relied on at all, those types of sites really do make people feel worse.

Please see your doctor, depression is not laughed at and you would be surprised if you knew how common depression is these days. Everyone is entitled to have down periods, I'm a manic depressant and I'm not ashamed by it. It took me a while to actually get the guts up to visit the Dr's but I'm glad I did. They made me see that there is a 'light at the end of the tunnel' and they will help. You won't be forced to take medication, the dr will run through what is suited to your diagnosis.

Drugs are not a long term solution, they help stabilize your serotonin levels and 'balance you out'. Counseling is the other option, which should be taken, talking does really help people.

I would say PM me but my PM's are still not activated

I know it maybe hard to see a way forward but there is one, for now, it may help to write down in a diary, how you are feeling, it helps to release tension.

But please do see your GP, they will help you x

i cant really keep a diary as it would be catastrophicif my parents found out... i cant remember if someone brings them up later on down but they do ill explain there...

being someone who was diagnosed with clinical depression I can say that doctors can and will help.
I also know what you are dealing with and you are more than welcome to private message me in the knowledge that
anything you say will be totally confidential.

I, like many others, am here for you if you need it.

yeah lol i kinda figured that one out after seeing all these posts

Mate as said you are doing the right thing seeking help, Now either speak with your parent's/other family member you can trust or a friend you trust, friends you do not need to have millions of to have a good friend..

My neice at present is in the same boat as you mate, ive found out alot of things from her which actually brought me to tears of what she has actually tried and succeded in doing

I got her to sit down with me, after a few hours joking around and getting her to open up i was shocked, i told her to her face iam getting your mum involed now, then another few hours passed with lots of tears and home truths, after all this was brought into the open, we actually had a great evening, that next morning my sister took her to see the doctor,then went to the school to inform them and ask for extra help, this was only just under a month ago. Things since this are much better and doctors helping and school.

Seriously mate the best bet is to speak about it, hard i know..

Feel free to Pm me, where i shall go into more detail, but ultimately seek pro help mate, never take what anyone says on the internet as gospel, not even us.

We can reccomed advice but thats it, people can be pure evil about advice given, lord knows ive seen some wicked stuff on the internet which i cannot beleive on human would say to another

So as i said mail me,will reply when i get a chance, have you tried to speak with your parents?this is one of the hardest things, my sister reacted as i didnt exspect, however after i brought things to her attention she then changed instantly, please ensure you seek help, you obviously want help,and being here asking proves this, just promise us you will follow through, i lost a very good friend to suicide,this is probally why i concentrete that little harder with people, what led to his death will stay with me now, he tried to hard to be happy the day he died,which i only thought,wow he picked himself up quick,great to see him happy again,

ok, heres the thing with my parents, they dont suit well with change at all, well if its on their terms at least like this move. i actually do have a hobby but im only allowed to play it with either my dad when he wants to and with teammates, but since i moved its just been dad. im also not exaclty treated like the average US teen either which doesnt help at all. if i do anything that they dont like even if its something unimportant i get in trouble, so i dont really like them very much....

my friend seek out a trusted teacher in school, they will help you find the correct person in school to help you, there is always someone they in turn can then talk through the issues and give you help with options. There will be a service that they can refer you to if you don't want to seek help from your GP. Let people help you, after all it's why they do the job, to help people

Keep talking, we are hear to listen

Seffie x

ps stop doing those online self assessment tools

ive been having these sorts of issues since 6th grade (in fact thats when my life was screwed up tbh) and i did seek the help of the counselor because of the top secret thing lol. tbh that helped more than the recent therapist did (i hit my mom with what essentially was a pillow and she freaked out, wth was i supposed to do, she had a metal belt) but she wasnt there for most of the year so i didnt get much help... when i moved backto california i got back with my old best friends but that only lasted one year and since then i havent had any like that since... there is however someone ill mention later...

Hey,

I wouldn't worry about it, but at least speak to someone in person about it to clear things up. At 15 years old I wouldn't be surprised if it was just a teenager thing I went through exactly the same thing! The main cause I think was my father lived abroad and I played too many computer games! I got so out of touch with real life at times (No, I didn't play WoW, BF1942 all the time actually) that I just didn't ever do anything constructive. All my friends were the same and would prefer to play a game than play out.

Anyway it took some time I felt all down and "depressed" but then I picked up a hobby (Biking) that got me outside and doing something every or every other day! If you could do that to pick yourself up, find a friend or two and start something new something as simple as a sport and you will feel happier.

At 15 as you are and I was so not so long ago I honestly think its just a period of time a lot of us go through. Winter doesn't help AT ALL and it makes you feel even more down. In fact I get very down and upset when it goes into the winter months even with my girlfriend by my side each time the winter comes round my face goes down.

Just an additional tip:
Also make the most of High school, it's the best time of your life. probably 50% of my favourite memories in life have come from High school/College and that was a few years ago, I've walked along the great wall of china, I've stood on a glacier in austria, see the terracotta soldiers in person and nearly got killed in serbia by gangsters. After all those fabulous memories, most of them won't come close to my high school experience. It took so long to evolve into what I remember it as today, to filter out the friends to your best ones and enjoy yourself. To add onto that as well, I actually got bullied for about 50% of High school and well eventually It ended bad for the bully but it's about the friends you make and stick with. The friends you make now will probably be some of the friends you know for the rest of your life.

I highly recommend you talk to people in person about this whenever you get down explain, even your parents will help you out. Just don't over exaggerate or you won't get the response you're after.

Good Luck

Who's the man? You dddd Man

yeah my dads the same thing, he the guy that runs the whole central/south american section of the company and hes gone half the time, the other half hes home and most of that hes on the phone even during movies and dinner when hes supposed to be spending time with us, he doesnt take me anywhere (indian wells was because his friends couldnt go so he took us instead) and only plays tennis with me when he wants to play tennis, not when i do (everyday)

highschool... i have to be honest im usually an 4.0-3.8 kind of guy but this year ive been so unhappy i actually ended with a 3.1, and 1 friend at the end of the year. while others i know got the grades they usually get (4.0-3.8) and they have tons of friends, go to tons of partys, and are having an awseome time, and since they have so many friends they broke the system and were able to help each other out with hw and outlines for AP euro (hardest class ever) and therfore had no hw and were able to do all there stuff. i couldnt break the system ( i had no friends) so i had to do everything and had no time to do anything fun. last year i had my best friend for the begining of the year but we lost touch and it didnt click back like it used to so i was left by myself, thankfully the classes were easy so i got what i usually got.









now, i know everyones saying to talk to someone and i am a very hard person to get there trust, i do have to mention that i did have a little rant on facebook a month ago and im very glad i did because i got a friend out of it, and best of all one that i could talk to as for some reason i do trust him, i guess its cuz he sorta opened up to me and i the same, however just like everything else i had no time to do anything with him or talk all that much in person due to this dam move, but we still talk almost everyday through face book or txting and when starcraft II comes out we're gonna play that,and hopefully if my parentslet me and if i get straight As next year i get to move back by myself and go to my old highschool again..... i doubt its going to happen though and my friend is also helping me be more social so i can make some friend s here and not have to rely on my rather unreliable parents to do things like play tennis. hes about the only thing good thats happended in a long while, and though ive only known him this year (2 classes together) and weve been friends for only a month, i miss him badly, we did talk in person twice and both were pretty fun so i do miss that
but yeah i do talk to him about everything so hes my "doctor" lol


heres the conversation that happended a while ago,blue is me, black is him

May 17
My life is like a badly scented pile of s***, most of it is crap and nonsense all the time, and occasionally i find the scent of false happiness, most of the time its talking to everyone at school, and its pathetic and fake and cheap and it does not last very long because its ignored.


and another sad thing is some think they can sly away, yet its quite simple to "see" through the ruse and it just makes it worse because then i know '-1', why be friends if lies permeate the landscape like a field of wheat? sure I wont bring it up, why should I, you know what you did yet dont know i know, i'll still smile and wave and all that BS but i know, and wonder why the f*** they still bother, its gonna take alot more than that for me to forget, hell i even give them a chance and they just relapse, and whats even stupider is that i give them more, why? because im a pathetic f*** that is nothing more than the irritating piece of gum under your shoe

whoa there bro thats out of line.

Enlighten me on how that is "out of line" it

after all, it is at least for the moment my "status" per say, im not pointing fingers at anyone and im fairly positive you are not involved any more than anyone else here, so please, do say how this fairly blunt statement is in any way, shape or form out of line and ill gladly do something about it. i dont want any hard feelings with anyone at the moment, at least not if i have to

its out of line because nobody should be feeling this way. it is so depressing it gets me down. why do you feel ignored? it is upsetting to me, but if you need facebook to release that stress then that is alright. who are you talking about?

well to be truly honest its a bit of a double negative, id like to tell you let alone anyone else why but the problem is its almost impossible to trust anyone with anything and that holds true for me, therefore i cant really speak my mind on the issue, not to mention my multiple residencies over the years has spread thin the years i get to know people, only to never see or talk to them again and that has caused me to be so secretive as i have never had the chance to keep a friend i can trust through and through, not to mention i have only been able to acheive that once. as to the other question the pathetic one is me, thats my evaluation of myself as i honestly think that, and tbh i was mad about something at the time and i put it on fb, as again im not like that, imo it was rather ill thought through on my part

why does it have to take a while to make good friends? if you are moving constantly why wouldnt you live knowing that if you mess up, it aint no thang and you move on. life keeps a rolling man, you cant try to slow it down and get it settled exactly the way you want it. live a little, enjoy the company of people around you. what do you have to lose? feel a little unconfortable for about a couple weeks, it will be worth it in the long run.

tbh i have alot to lose at the moment, and the thing is the moving is completedly random, like that rabbit in alice in wonderland that yells change places randomly, i wasnt even in the know-how i was moving this year till after christmas break, and before that the school year was almost over before i found out i was moving to georgia for the first time over the summer. and i guess the reason it takes forever for me to make friends is the fact that i dont really know whats gonna happen any more and id rather save both mine and whoever i might have been friends with by not being so close in the first place, thats why i dont really have a best friend and why i dont go to parties, houses, or dances or any of the like, not to mention im very,very anti-social to begin with, i can see where your coming at but imo it'll only be short lived so why go to the hassle to set up for more emotional strain

to practice smarty pants. social skills are not something that a person is born with, it is something that they aquire with practice, here im going to make this conversation a little more private....

yess social skills are not something that you can just hope that you are good at when you get to high school, its something that comes with practice. i could tell you from personal experiance the hardships of it, but idk if you want to hear that or it could also be something that you aquire over time. if you want to work on it ask me about it tomorrow or something while we are walking to class...

the point is that you need to work on it, yes you will have to leave all of your friends once you move, but think about it this way: if you can do it once, it is easier the second time. and secondly, if you move back, which seems likely, then you wont have to worry about the hassle again. say you come back senior year, i would be able to hook you up with some bitching parties and some pretty ladies. dont be worried about the fact that you might get hurt, that is a girl move. be ballsy, an example would be like ****. i took him to this thing where i was worried if he was going to be awk, and he met every single kid at that party. he made friends with people he had never met. i can respect that if you are more selective with friends, but not to a point where you have little to none.

i know you are moving really soon so it is kinda... worthless. but you wont see the people around here for years or if at all. you might as well. idk how much of summer you will be here for, or how much time i can spend with you, but i want to help you out man. i was that way in like 8th grade, and then i branched out my freshman year. i would encourage you to do the same in georgia. idk what people are like out there and chances are that i wouldnt fit in out there. but not trying is going to get you nowhere. if anyone is an A hole to you out here you let me know. cant have that.

 

[shroob]

I would seek help, if you're worried about people finding out don't be, its all confidential and I promise you it will be worth it.

You say you're 15, does your school have a councellor or someone you feel you could confide in? Recognition and admission is the first step on the road to recovery, well done for realising something isn't right.

What I'm about to say, I havn't even told my friends, but if it encourages you to seek help then its worth it, and as its an internet forum I feel somewhat able to be more open. Speaking from experience, depression is not fun. I was one of those people that thought it wasn't a 'real' illness, that is until it happened to me. Like you I never really considered suicide, but at times I didn't think it would be the worst thing in the world if something was to happen to me. I lost interest in everything (one of the many symptoms) eg. fish keeping, but seeing as I'm back using the forum more frequently, shows that there can be recovery and the 'happy child' can make a comeback. To cut a long story short, thankfull I got help and things started to look up, there are still down days but they are much less frequent and less intense.

Please look at all the posts above with people who have had/know someone suffering from depression, they all recommend seeking help, it really is worth it.

 

[GAB99]

yeah the school does have a councilor and ill use them if i cant find someone here to talk to like my friend in CA.

yeah i usually get that feeling of "noone would really care that much if i was dead" though i know my family would prolly be sad but thats almost always a freebie and i dont really count that and i did give up alot of things and actually almost gave this up, but fishkeeping is one of the few things that makes me happy so im sticking with it.

i would seek pro help but im really hard to get to open up, ill prolly end up side stepping the questions or giving false info, trust me its happended alot

 

[ian]

can i just but in here, GAB, its not just a Dr that can help sometimes, a nurse can be a better person to talk to about these situations. Drugs are not always the answer, the Dr may use these as a first line. Drop me a shout if you need to discuss anything, as you may know i'm a trained nurse and willing to help mate. Drop me a PM if you need to...

 

[JoshuaA]

To add to your response to my post.

My dad was exactly the same, whenever he did come back he was never interested in doing anything with me and in fact preferred my brother. My dad's excuse was that he couldn't help me train for my cross country races as he can't run far.

Needless to say that when my parents got divorced I was the one who was "hurt" the least, since I didn't really have much of a connection with him as my brother or of course my mother had it didn't hit home at all for me. I just treated him like it was normal. After their divorce it took perhaps 2/3 years for me to see my dad again, he had been in two different countries in that time and then was finally moving to China. I'd like to say it ended well and it kind of has but I'm thrown back and forth between family turmoil and I'm generally disliked by my mothers entire family due to the fact I "support" my father. I've never been the favourite kid with anyone, and even now after all my support I still feel like I'm second best to my brother even though he never speaks to my father.

That is one thing that gets me really down about it however I just have to get on with what I have. I only live once and I only have one father.

With high school, I was a whizzkid and did fantastic up till about the 4th year in which I just started messing around with the wrong friend group and didn't get much work done at all, I went out and partied and just came back feeling like poop. I knew I had made a mistake and the next year I got my head down for exams and lost quite a few friends because I simply ignored them for work. I got substantially good results in my end of high school exams and got accepted into college instantly. I went back to my old ways and wasted 2 years of my life in college. All I have to show for it is an A level in Physics... apart from when I use it in the practical sense for estimating forces required and stuff in my head I've done nothing with it... Kind of one of those "Look at me I got this!!". I lived with my father for a few months in China and didn't enjoy it after all that I came back and looked for a job, found a dead end job and got stuck in. My boss was so horrible to me and arrogant I got blamed for things which happened before I even arrived, I was always the one who got abused for doing things my job description didn't even list. I left that job after the boss made an accusation of me taking too much time on my break, he then suggested I should put the effort in that everyone else does and sacrifice a bit of my time like other people have on a busy day. I told him if he wanted me to work more he could pay me if not shove his job, I walked out and he got fuming over it. It was satisfying and I had a smug smile on my face for "sticking it to the man". However in the current climate it wasn't the best option.

I loitered around a bit and went to China again for inspiration, I helped out with my Step brothers art exhibitions and my step mothers trading business. I came back and applied for Uni and got accepted for a Business degree, I'm currently waiting for it to start... so my life goes on... moral of the story...

To sum it up, throughout the last 3/4 years of my life I've only had 2 good friends by my side other than that I would call everyone else "People I know" rather than friends. My girlfriend obviously has helped me a lot. Though one thing I can guarantee there will be more sadness in your life than happiness. Counting friends by number isn't the way to do it, so what if you're not going out partying, I did for a few time and I admit it was fun but it wasn't beneficial the next day or the day after... in fact it was detrimental to my future because of the lifestyle it introduced me to.

I feel like you're in the same position I was, I hope my short life story has helped you reflect on things in your life. Perhaps you might of learnt something, maybe think you're in a better position after all. The fact of the matter is to me, life isn't always going to be happy a lot of it is sadness and disappointment though when you do come across a happy time make the most of it. Those are the memories that will stick with you, may not see it now but you will likely think back in a few years time and think of something completely randomly whilst talking to a friend and just laugh the night away.

I don't think you're depressed at all, just feeling in a low place for a long time. You will break out of it soon though like you've just proved talking about it to someone really helps.

Good luck again