Well, I HATE SAND! That being said (again), I am in the process of setting up my 55G with Quckcrete play sand. I had to wash it and wash it in buckets and then still had to fill the tank half way up 3 times and drain it to get water clear. All is good now but no fish in there yet. I would get rid of that sand and start over with the Quickcrete. I think the biggest problem was as @Byron said. Never leave fish in a tank when changing substrate. All will work out slowly. Slow and easy wins the race. I know you feel so bad physically. Wish we could come and help you. 