Christmas Card

[john5748]

You have got just under a week to build up your resolve and if this creep comes in next weekend PUSH THE BELL.

Dont feel sorry for him, he is making you feel uncomfortable and that should not be allowed even if his intentions are honourable (if somewhat weird, creepy and unwelcome).

 

[Jen]

This has been a very wierd thread to follow. I can deffinately understand why you are creeped out. I don't want to scare you, but when you do notify security of what he looks like, and they stop him at the door, make sure you have someone follow you to your car for the next few shifts. If he is a weirdo, he will probably know that you had him stopped, and might try something funny.

Just looking out for you.

 

[rdd1952]

Hi lynz, sorry to hear about your problem. One option would be to give the card to police and have them finger print it. It may be too late and too many people have handled it already to get a good print from him. Besides that, you could maybe get him to fill out a form or something (do they have frequent shopper cards like EVERY store here in the states does) and get the finger prints off it. At least you could maybe rest easier if they ran prints on him and found that he didn't have a record.

The part about having someone walk you to your car is actually good advice for anyone that has to leave work or school or where ever and walk into a parking lot or parking deck, especially after dark. In this day and age, you have to be careful. I'm a 53 year old man and I still hate to have to go into a parking deck or even a mall parking lot after dark.

Good luck with whatever you decide. If you do decide to do the security thing, they can always just tell him that someone reported that they saw him trying to steal something. That would get you off the hook and he would never know any different.

 

[xautomaticflowersx]

Since he's been a pain to other female members of staff in the past, I would personally just push that security button. I know I'm the one who told you to let him down gently, but if he's been giving unwanted attention to others as well as yourself then I don't think it's unkind of you to alert security. I was initially a bit worried that he might be some guy on the edge, who might harm himself or something if he was rejected. I always worry about that sort of thing whenever I say *anything* to people I don't know! But if he's persistent enough to have bothered other people besides yourself then I think he's probably thick-skinned enough to be held responsible for his own behaviour. You sound like such a lovely conscientious person! I can relate to you feeling awkward about him knowing it was you who had him stopped at the door, but try not to feel guilty or anxious... it's not your fault that he's taken an unwanted interest in you. To be honest, alerting security is the most professional way of handling the situation and I think it's probably the safest way of going about things.
As canoechiq rightly said though, keep an eye out for the next few weeks and try not to be left alone when you're outside the store.

 

[Lynz781]

I cried at work today and made myself look like an idiot. Fortunately my mum was in the store shopping at the time and she spoke to the manager. There was a different security person in and I tried to explain the situation with her but she basically said she was too busy tagging booze. Which is fair enough. But that meant no one was watching the cameras (hmmmm not great security in asda). Anyway a combination of that and the supervisor being rude to me in front of a customer when I asked for keys, peed me off and I was about to walk out the shop but cried under my checkout in stead ) . So mum and manager sorted it out and I was to ring security and stuff like normal and I swear I would have done it this time (sick of having night mares about it) but he never came through. Buts it's my fault because I could have ended this last week. Sick of looking at every person that comes over incase its him. Oh well another week of the same I guess.

You sound like such a lovely conscientious person! I can relate to you feeling awkward about him knowing it was you who had him stopped at the door, but try not to feel guilty or anxious... it's not your fault that he's taken an unwanted interest in you.

Thanks xautomaticflowersx .

 

[BigC]

Forget about it....it's all getting too deep for me
Get the beers in. and maybe I can write poetry like that. hic hic.

 

[black angel]

Seriously i would be looking for another job, its not worth it Lynzz.

 

[emma12321]

I'd be looking for another job anyway as ASDA is horrible to work for. I worked there for 6 years and they treat you like s**t. The managers used to change every couple of months and they would all come in with their own stupid ideas. When i finally did walk out, i left them a 2 page essay on where they could shove their company.

Emma

 

[Lynz781]

Yeh I'm sick of all the petty rules they keep coming up with now again. It's like being back at school. I've worked there over four years now and it used to be ok working there. But now, it seriously gets on my nerves. Problem is finding a job that will be as flexible with me as much as ASDA are. They let me only work Saturdays only and I get to pick up overtime whenever I want. (except when they give you an 8 week overtime ban for being off once, even if you have a Doctors line!!!!).

The managers used to change every couple of months and they would all come in with their own stupid ideas.

Tell me about it. In the stroe I work for the managers dont last five minutes.

i left them a 2 page essay on where they could shove their company.

D'you wanna do my essays. I'm not getting anywhere. Long night for me

 

[chishnfips]

hey lynzz sorry to hear that, why dont you try getting a part tim ejob in something you enjoy, like a pet store or something, there are bound to be loads of christmas temp jobs coming up, and with the opportunity to go permanent.

 

[ncjharris]

Blimey.

This has been an interested thread. At first when I read the card I thought, 'ah, a clever fellow, there is a message here' although it was quite obvious his way of translating this was - off the wall to say the least!
He has tried to present his feelings 'shrouded' in cyrptology. This isn't uncommon, types of autism manifest themselves in people masking what they say with riddles, jokes, etc.

Then you mentioned that he had done this before, to other girls. That makes it a different matter. He may be lonely, he may be funny, he may be worthy of a chance, but he is bordering on stalker.

A quick pointer about the law. The police will do nothing. What you have as evidence won't stand up as anything, regardless of who it comes from and so on.
However. Your Associated Diaries, as your employer, owes you a duty of care as their employee. As part of the Employments Right Act, you have a right to work in a workplace free from numerous quantifiable dangers. This includes harrasement, abuse, and so on.
If you percieve that this threat exists, and you take it to your managers they MUST respond, or they have broken the law. Simple as that.
Look at what will happen to KFC in the coming weeks following last weekends events.
How they choose to respond is up to them and you to decide.
The most effective way would be to ban him, and it seems your store isn't adverse to that. Or they may insist if he is to shop at ASDA he must be served by a male operator. If they don't thats where the police will come in.

Anyway, I have rambled here. My point is that you shouldn't have to change your work or your schedule around one bloke. The shop should take care of you, but taking 'care' of him. So to speak.

Good Luck in getting this resolved and remember - he's the one at fault here, not you!

 

[rdd1952]

Just curious as to how this past Saturday went. Hopefully, he didn't come in and it's all over with.

 

[Lynz781]

He didn't come in. I think if he was to queue at my checkout I'd swap with the person behind me. He can get lost as far as I'm concerned now. As for alerting the managers, waste of time if he doesn't even come in.

 

[pseud]

He gave a book to one with photos that contained his journey from ASDA to his home

Oh. My. God. sorry but LOL

Seriously, Lynz, how long til he starts following you home and hands you photos of the journey back to your house? You need to stop this guy.

Edit: Sorry, skipped straight to reply after reading that!

 

[SRC]

I'm not trying to scare you by telling you this..just want to let you know how some people think and act at times...it's a scary thought, but better to be informed and leery then caught completely off guard. Sometimes people can't help themselves, they are sick/disturbed...they just aren't safe, stable people.

If he has given someone photos of HIS way home, plus knew where another person lived (if it wasn't in the same town)...you should be very cautious...he very well may have already followed you home. I think, if possibe, I would not take the same route home for a little bit..just take different ways and make sure no one is following you..be alert.

I agree that the card is indeed very odd and suspicious..but I am a very engaging person and look at the things people do and wonder "why" they do them...not that they simply did them..I always want to know "why" if they aren't "normal" things...you know.

I think he's definitely got stalker material written all about him...and you should be very careful in your approach and dis-approach of him.

Just swapping lines with someone won't deter him..that will only alert him to your discovery of his actions (if he is up to something mind you).

Chances are he already knows which car is yours, he's probably got pictures of you, and who knows what else. It's good you contacted the authorities...just to have it all on record in case it goes further.

The card, imho, does have a rather sinister appeal to it. The yellowing part I agree refers to virus/fungus/disease in plants..which he obviously is very much into, so there's no mistaking he put it there on purpose.

I translate it to say:

He seems infatuated with you, he wants you to have a relationship, and without that relationship life would surely be a disease...that doesn't necessarily mean HIS life mind you though. Most men do not show up on cue everyday like that, over extended periods of time, without talking about what their intentions are about...that is the start of a stalking...and imo, having been stalked before, it's a very serious start at that..he's already had practice (the other girls).

Just be very careful in how you treat him and interact with him. He most likey likes you because you were kind and responded to him at some point (he probably isn't liked by many, if he is odd in his ways) and he's grown attached to you because of it, it's of no fault of your own (just remember that)...if you cut him off too sharply or are ill towards him..it could send him spiraling in a bad direction..and you would be the one to catch the brunt of it.