I'm scared of spiders. I hate to admit that, because it's such a typical girlie fear, and I work hard to overcome it and desensitise myself! None of ours are really dangerous, even, but there's one species here that freaks me out, and I dread their breeding season around August-September time, as the males roam looking for females.
It's the ones you find trapped in the sink or bath, or suddenly come running at you from under the sofa or something. Large, brown, hairy, eight legged freaks!
Tegenaria parietina and
Tegenaria domestica.
I won't put a picture here out of consideration for other spider fearing people, but
will add a link with large photo of a house spider and talk of how the males suddenly appear at that time of year! To try to overcome my fear ever since I was a kid, I would make myself hold a tarantula whenever I had the chance, try to catch and release spiders rather than splat them the moment I see them, which the panic response instantly wants me to! I like orb weavers, so long as their webs aren't stretched over a pathway I need to walk through. Cellar spiders with the tiny bodies and long legs are fine and I can catch by hand and remove, but I tend to leave them be since they don't run at and terrify me, and they can also eat house spiders.... ! save me, cellar spiders! You're much more chill and less terrifying, and only tend to find them in places we rarely access like the gardening tools cabinet. If keeping them means less chance of a house spider giving me a heart attack, then I'm happy to house them.
But those creepy, jerky moving, fast running, and horrible house spiders, while harmless, always seem to jump scare me!! And only increase my fear. I spray citronella and peppermint in window ledges and doorframes to try to deter them, especially as August approaches and I know it's house spider time...
I have a vivid memory of opening one of my underbed drawers when I was four or five, a huge house spider being in there and running at me, and me freaking out about it. Then my dad rented the film Arachnophobia for us all to watch when I was about seven or eight I think, since it came out in 1990 in the US, then a while longer before available to rent on VHS I think (dating myself here)! Film both terrified and fascinated me - it's a really good film, and I have a yen to watch it again, but there are some genuinely frightening scenes for an arachnophobe in training! Mum was angry at dad for letting us watch scary films, and blamed him for my fear of spiders, but I'm sure it was the drawer spider that began my fear. Mum later admitted to me that she's scared of spiders too, but she always put on a brave face and pretended she was fine with them, because she didn't want to encourage my fear, not wanting to feed into it. She's probably why I always tried to face and overcome my fear of them.
I've had one fall from the picture rail above my bed while I was reading a book and drifting off to sleep one night at like 3am, feeling peaceful, until a huge ugly house spider landed on my pillow right next to my face, I jumped up screaming and it escaped down the back of the bed. I woke my brother and made him move the bed, find the spider and either remove or kill it, since there was no way I was sleeping in that bed knowing a huge house spider was so close by! Fortunately he is patient and amused by my fear of them, and was prepared to go to battle with the monster while I set up bedding on the sofa in case he didn't find it. He did, thankfully!
Yesterday at about 1am I woke up, pulled on a dressing gown for warmth, then was watching something I was really absorbed by. Felt a tickle on my head and just brushed it away, thinking it's a loose hair since my hair was up in a loose bun. Few minutes later it tickles again, I brush my hair back, and a large house spider falls onto the bed and escapes while I gasp/quietly shriek in horror and panic.
I haven't found it yet, despite trying hard all day-maybe the hoover got him. But maybe he's under a piece of furniture, hiding and waiting to attack me again. That's possibly worse than knowing it must have been above my head on the wall, picture rail or pillow, OR, on my dressing gown when I put it on without me noticing, then had climbed onto my head(!!!). That's bad enough. But now its the jumpiness, and fear that it'll crawl back onto the bed, or onto me!
It's in here somewhere. It's not breeding season for them now, so I'm mad at yet another jump scare house spider being on me, being in my room, and the not knowing where it is now, but knowing it's probably nearby...!
I need to broker some kind of deal with them, the way I have with cellar spiders, or orb weavers. Just don't get on me somehow, at all, or run directly at me and scare me! Want to live in the sheds? Go mad, I don't mind... within reason. Or set up behind or underneath a wardrobe or bookcase.. so long as they stay there, and stop frightening me. I will catch and release to a shed if they're stuck in the sink or bath or I see them from a distance and can mentally and physically prepare to use the cup and cardboard method to catch and release you creepy and frightening spiders - so long as you all quit jump scaring me like that and reinforcing the phobia! Deal?
Not really sure if that is a good or bad thing but I'm happy with it. 
