The Friendliest Fish Forum Around?

[pica_nuttalli]

i agree with the majority of long-term members in this post--a lot of people just get sick of providing the exact same information over and over again. its even more frustrating when the OP gets the exact same advice from several people in a row but still refuses to accept that information.

if you don't think that this is the "friendliest fish forum", then i suggest that you go visit some of the alternatives. trust me, TFF is kept on a tight leash and you are receiving infinitely kinder treatment here than you would anywhere else. there have been a few loose cannons and chat can be controlled only to a small degree, but by and large TFF is the friendliest forum you'll find.

i will also say that a large portion of habitat advice is directly related to maintenance. the minimum standard of water changes is generally considered to be 10-20%, once a week. for this minimum standard and on-the-box filter ratings, the "inch of fish" guideline works pretty well as an indicator of how to stock a tank (except for large/territorial fish--which need even *more* space). thus, my advice is based on these considerations. i'm not going to advise over-stocking (especially to newbies that aren't committed to frequent water changes) because it makes things harder and more expensive than they have to be.

there's no good reason to start out with an overstocked tank. this is especially the case if you've done all of your research before hand. there are plenty of decent reasons to wind up with an over-stocked tank, but at that point you have the options of increasing the frequency of water changes and the filter size. starting out overstocked also eliminates any potential "buffer" in the case of a tank disaster--for example, if you go on holiday for a week and your 12" pleco dies while no one's watching. i am never going to be persuaded that cramming in the absolute maximum amount of fish is a good idea or that it is good advice. and i am always going to challenge that notion when i see it.

please note also that disagreeing with someone is 100% not the same thing as being mean.

--EDIT--
i do have to admit that Lord have mercy i get irritated when frequent forum members show up to say "oo look at this neato fish that i bought at the LFS today! what is it and can i keep it in my 5g?" its a friggin' pet store, they'll have it later, and if you've paid attention at all in the last month that you've been here, then you should know that the vast majority of fish cannot and should not be kept in 15g or less. research first, credit card second!

 

[Bignose]

Also, since I don't think that this has been brought up, but have a discussion with the moderators if you think someone is being rude or offensive. That is their jobs. If you think it is a recurring problem, it needs to be brought to the moderators attention, because for all the same reasons they do not have the time to police every single thread. But, if you PM them, they will take a look and help resolve the issue. It isn't reported publicly, but people are reprimanded and banned for not following the rules or just otherwise bad behavior all the time.

 

[campbellmay]

I personally have never experienced anything but kindness and generosity from other members here, though I have witnessed a few people getting prickly on other threads. Everyone I've run into seems genuinely eager to help.

I think the prickliness is largely due to the fact that most people on this board are passionate about the hobby, and whenever there is any kind of passion involved, tempers tend to flare more easily. It's also easier to get defensive when criticized on your fishkeeping, as it is a very personal thing to be criticized for. Plus, fishkeeping is so full of differing opinions that it's really easy to get carried away defending your own.

I completely agree with Bignose on the point that it's very difficult to read tone from text alone, and I think many arguments arise when something sounds offensive but wasn't really meant to be. Once one person gets snarky, usually in response to something they thought was meant unkindly, it seems to snowball.

Regardless of whatever blunder that has been made, I really don't think it's ever justified to jump down someone's throat for making a stupid mistake. Yes, it was stupid. Yes, they should know better. But the only reason to flat out insult someone for a mistake is to instigate an argument, and that's pretty useless to everyone involved. You don't have to cuddle the person who made the mistake, but telling them in a civil tone what they should do to correct it is more likely to get done what needs to be done.

Remember, there are innocent fish at stake here. Making their owners angry instead of helping them could make getting the fish the help they need much less likely.

 

[Tolak]

I see the friendliness come & go in waves; there is somewhat of a predictable pattern. From the middle of summer until the end of September, when kids are out of school & starting to get bored, there is an influx of newbies, usually kids, and sometimes rude. Friendliness gets a kick in the pants from this, as well as right after Christmas, when you get newbies who are unreceptive to information that goes against what they have done or plan to do. Other than that, TFF is really mild & well moderated compared to many other places on the internet. Check out some of the cichlid related sites for aggressive posters for a comparison.

As far as posts going unanswered, if it's an easy answer I'll tend not to answer it if it's a recent post. This gives someone who is just beyond the newbie stage a chance to participate with an answer, giving them a chance to experience the enjoyment of helping someone else. It doesn't matter to me if the OP joined 2 hours ago or 2 years ago. If anything I’ll answer a newbie’s post a little sooner. The “old boy’s club†nonsense has no business here.

Personally, as far as friendliness goes, I really tone it down from the way I am in real life. This is a family oriented forum, and I try to reply in a way that reflects that. Now, if someone gets a little mouthy, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. I’ll let a little zing out on these occasions, but still try to keep it in the “family oriented†context.

Before you hit the “Add Reply†button, imagine reading your post out loud to a priest, reverend, or other clergyman.

 

[Jules H-T]

call me the "****ist fish keeper ever."

the worst in the world?

"haha! you can't even keep fish. why consider marine"

I was congratualated on "creating a community death trap".

I was murdering fish and should take up pet rocks

I'm sorry, but all those really made me laugh. If you weren't such muppets, you wouldn't have got spoken to like that in the first place.

JOKE, JOKE, I was joking. I have not read your threads and I am not really calling anyone a muppet.

However, bring a pinch of salt with you. People having a bit of a whinge about this forum seriously want to join a PS2/Xbox forum, or a football one. Comments like those above are standard procedure.

If you get flamed ask yourself whether you actually needed a boot in the rear to wake you up, or whether it's real nastiness.

If you think it's nastiness, then report the post- that's what the report button at the bottom left of each post is there for. The mods can't be everywhere at once, especially with all the new members.

 

[Pufferpro]

Just tell everyone that you have a 500 gallon and they won't have anything to hate you for. But I do agree that there are way too many people who live on this forum and want everyone to think of them as an authority on tropical aquariums. I always as a rule blow off these members because I know that they are just trying to make their virtual life look good to compensate for their real life which must be lacking

Seriously, to all you old members who like to flame people: we all know you've answered the same question a million times but some members have never had that question answered before. Yeah they could search it out but what is the fun in that? If I wanted to search for the answer toa fish question I'd go out and rent a book, part of the fun of an online forum is communicating with real people! Basically it all goes back to what our mothers taught us: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! If you're sick and tired of answering the same question over and over again then stop reading those threads. If you still get annoyed by the fact that they are being posted then you need to go outside and get some sunshine and fresh air and stop living your life here on TFF, maybe it's time for you to go elsewhere for fun?

 

[leafs]

This forum has been great for learning and overall everyone has been friendly and helpfull when I've posted, but on ocassion I do get some replies that I feel are derogatory, but I try not to take them personally. I think some of the older members need to be more patient with people when trying to help. Everyone has different ways of helping, some more to the point and abrupt and some come across as been more friendly. I try not to take it too seriously and just enjoy the hobby.

 

[Cheffi]

Just to add my 6 eggs. I came here as a newbie to tropical fish when I hadn't even got my tank. I received replies to my questions and the advice on the whole was good and helped me to setup my aquarium without making mistakes. However.....there is a small majority of posters on here that tend to jump in straight away giving advice on subjects which they basically know nothing.

The other thing that annoys me is when a question is asked. The first reply is full of good advice and then another half dozen posters post exactly the same advice. What is the point in all that To get post counts up

I feel in the short time I've been here we have lost a few extremely knowledgable people purely because they have a passion for this hobby and don't have the patience with some sensitive souls to sieve through every word they've posted in case they have offended someone. Life's too short guys. Oh and also the pettiness of some people. I personally had a pm from a mod telling me that someone had complained to them that my avatar was too big!!!! OMG get a life people. The mod in question actually agreed with me that it was petty but wth rules is rules.

On the whole I like this forum, I belong to several, this is by far the best and you can be assured of help from some really expert hobbyists. There is a knack to getting your posts answered. Make the titles a bit more interesting

 

[Callum]

I see the friendliness come & go in waves; there is somewhat of a predictable pattern. From the middle of summer until the end of September, when kids are out of school & starting to get bored, there is an influx of newbies, usually kids, and sometimes rude.

i understand kids can be rude but the majority are ok. im a kid after all and im not rude (on the forums that is)

 

[calum]

well done trace 1

 

[Bloo]

The other thing that annoys me is when a question is asked. The first reply is full of good advice and then another half dozen posters post exactly the same advice. What is the point in all that To get post counts up

I think this is very useful actually. Especially to a newbie who may not be sure if the first person's advice was really the best or correct. So it's valuable to have it substantiated / supported. OK perhaps not 6 of the same thing, but at least a few. How is a newbie to know who gives good advice and who just dishes out info with no personal knowledge ? Also, sometimes other people elaborate or add to existing advice - which is also very helpful

 

[Jules H-T]

Yeah they could search it out but what is the fun in that? If I wanted to search for the answer toa fish question I'd go out and rent a book, part of the fun of an online forum is communicating with real people!

Actually, that's against general forum etiquette in general and you do yourself no favours admitting that you flaunt that. The search button is there for a reason. Why should you expect someone to spend time and effort helping you when you can't be bothered to spend some time and effort yourself?

 

[Cheffi]

The other thing that annoys me is when a question is asked. The first reply is full of good advice and then another half dozen posters post exactly the same advice. What is the point in all that To get post counts up

I think this is very useful actually. Especially to a newbie who may not be sure if the first person's advice was really the best or correct. So it's valuable to have it substantiated / supported. OK perhaps not 6 of the same thing, but at least a few. How is a newbie to know who gives good advice and who just dishes out info with no personal knowledge ? Also, sometimes other people elaborate or add to existing advice - which is also very helpful

Elaborating and adding is not the same thing as repeating what has already been said. If bad advice is given the more knowledgable members pick up on it and give the correct advice. The threads are not just for the poster, they hopefully help other newbies who want to know the same thing. However I think it gets very boring reading half a dozen posts saying exactly the same thing, which was the point I was making, the saying 'exactly the same thing'.

 

[SLC Flyfishing]

Yeah they could search it out but what is the fun in that? If I wanted to search for the answer toa fish question I'd go out and rent a book, part of the fun of an online forum is communicating with real people!

Actually, that's against general forum etiquette in general and you do yourself no favours admitting that you flaunt that. The search button is there for a reason. Why should you expect someone to spend time and effort helping you when you can't be bothered to spend some time and effort yourself?

I agree with pufferpro, only on the point that much better research can be done through books than can ever be done on here. No offense but I don't know any of you on this forum personally and would be hard pressed to take advice that I didn'n already have an idea about from someone I didn't know! I come here to have interaction because I'm almost never able to have social interactions in my real life with school and work etc! I'm not going to research here using the search button. Also I never even knew there was one untill I'd been here for a few months anyway!

SLC

 

[andywg]

Yeah they could search it out but what is the fun in that? If I wanted to search for the answer toa fish question I'd go out and rent a book, part of the fun of an online forum is communicating with real people!

And where's the fun in answering the same question time and again, hence the posts get let, and hence we get another one of these threads about people's threads not being answered in the way someone wants. the only reason I joined this forum was to be able to search through older threads.

As said before, a number of forums will see you eaten alive for not searching the forum first. Some people like to see new things on the forums, not just the same question re hashed because someone doesn't know what the search button does. The Weebl and Bob forum even suggests that people spend the first 6 months inside the newbie zone to prevent them being mauled in the open threads.

I feel I have seen no change in the way the forum is replied by the "older" members, but it does seem that more and more sensitive souls are joining that want to be wrapped in cotton wool and not have their views challenged. A prime example was when the fact index was suggested (a good idea I thought) but when someone questioned the scientific validity behind some of the facts posted, people got upset.