Tell me something funny

[Colin_T]

I live in a crappy one bedroom unit with a big glass door looking out the back onto a 10x12ft area of grey paving. Next door is a huge block with a house and brick shed. They have rats in their shed, which is 2 feet from the fence.

Last year one of the rats moved into my roof. It was an adult female and she seemed rather comfortable around people (a little too comfortable). When the weather was fine and not too hot or wet, she would come out of the roof and lay down on her back in the middle of the paving out the back of my unit and soak up the rays. This rat would be sun tanning in the backyard during the middle of the day. I would growl and yell at her and tell her to fuplie off but she just ignored me. I would literally have to open the back door and walk out there and say fluff off. Then she would look up at me as if to say "Do I really have to move?" I would wave my arms about and shew her away and she would slowly get up and walk over to the gutter and climb up the wall. The next day she would be back out there sun tanning again.

She moved on last summer because it gets too hot in the roof, but another female with 2 young moved in shortly after and they don't sun tan. All they do is eat any plants I leave outside overnight.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

I live in a crappy one bedroom unit with a big glass door looking out the back onto a 10x12ft area of grey paving. Next door is a huge block with a house and brick shed. They have rats in their shed, which is 2 feet from the fence.

Last year one of the rats moved into my roof. It was an adult female and she seemed rather comfortable around people (a little too comfortable). When the weather was fine and not too hot or wet, she would come out of the roof and lay down on her back in the middle of the paving out the back of my unit and soak up the rays. This rat would be sun tanning in the backyard during the middle of the day. I would growl and yell at her and tell her to fuplie off but she just ignored me. I would literally have to open the back door and walk out there and say fluff off. Then she would look up at me as if to say "Do I really have to move?" I would wave my arms about and shew her away and she would slowly get up and walk over to the gutter and climb up the wall. The next day she would be back out there sun tanning again.

She moved on last summer because it gets too hot in the roof, but another female with 2 young moved in shortly after and they don't sun tan. All they do is eat any plants I leave outside overnight.

Sounds like a job for one of these...

 

[jaylach]

 

[Rocky998]

View attachment 340770

One time I got tired of Luna barking (she barks like crazy at random stuff), so I let out a loud bark, and she just paused with those eyes in that picture lome: "What the heck was that??" Lol

 

[jaylach]

 

[WhistlingBadger]

View attachment 340770

I've always said the best ways to deal with an aggressive dog are to either make friends with it, or convince it that you're crazier than it is.
Works pretty well for crazy people, too.

 

[jaylach]

 

[Magnum Man]

I saw a couple blonds walking down the street, down town... they ran into a building... you would have thought one of them would have seen it???

 

[gwand]

Magnum, Am I dreaming or is this really 1950?

 

[jaylach]

The best life advice...

If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for one day. If you feed him to the fishes then he’ll never be hungry again.

If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.

If you find a toilet in your dream, don’t use it.

If you don’t know where your kids are in the house, turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Ladies, if a man says he'll fix something, he will. There's no point in telling him about it every six months.

Don't give up your dreams, keep on sleeping.

If you break your bone in two places, don’t go to those places again.

Don't make snow angels in a dog park.

For $1, you can buy a candy bar from a vending machine. For $2, you can buy a brick, and get all the candy in the vending machine.

Don’t be ashamed of yourself — that’s a job for your parents.

If you’re in 12th grade, do not join senior dating sites.

 

[Rocky998]

The best life advice...

If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for one day. If you feed him to the fishes then he’ll never be hungry again.

If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.

If you find a toilet in your dream, don’t use it.

If you don’t know where your kids are in the house, turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Ladies, if a man says he'll fix something, he will. There's no point in telling him about it every six months.

Don't give up your dreams, keep on sleeping.

If you break your bone in two places, don’t go to those places again.

Don't make snow angels in a dog park.

For $1, you can buy a candy bar from a vending machine. For $2, you can buy a brick, and get all the candy in the vending machine.

Don’t be ashamed of yourself — that’s a job for your parents.

If you’re in 12th grade, do not join senior dating sites.

The best life advice right here

 

[WhistlingBadger]

If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.

Pretty good advice for music teachers, too.

 

[Rocky998]

Pretty good advice for music teachers, too.

I thought that was flirting for music teachers?? Maybe it is a dominance thing though, idk... I haven't don't much research on the creatures known as music teachers...

 

[WhistlingBadger]

I thought that was flirting for music teachers?? Maybe it is a dominance thing though, idk... I haven't don't much research on the creatures known as music teachers...

Music teachers don't flirt. We're automatically such babe magnets, we don't need to.

 

[jaylach]