Tell me something funny

[Rocky998]

How in the h-e-double_hockey_sticks are you watching green acres without streaming it over the internet?

ME TV lol

 

[Rocky998]

Rocky: https://www.porkopolis.org/library/arnold-ziffel/

OhHhHhH.
I had forgotten the name of that little guy from the show! I like him, he's funny lol

 

[Fishmanic]

Its on antenna tv as well as free streaming sites

 

[Back in the fold]

How in the h-e-double_hockey_sticks are you watching green acres without streaming it over the internet?

Over the air on MeTV . TV is best served live.

 

[Rocky998]

Over the air on MeTV . TV is best served live.

Sometimes yes I agree... Other times Id like to curl up and binge watch a whole series on a streaming service

 

[Rocky998]

You know... I love looking at the active member board... And sometimes there are names that just coincidentally end up right next to eachother...
And I loved this one:
"Wills, Smithing"

Today is gonna be a good day

 

[Back in the fold]

A woman goes to see a fortune teller and is told that her husband will die a violent death . She then asks - “will I be acquitted ?”

 

[Rocky998]

A woman goes to see a fortune teller and is told that her husband will die a violent death . She then asks - “will I be acquitted ?”

Then its:
"Hi, yes, is this Jake... From State Farm?"

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Rocky998]

Everything is legal if you have money for the fines

 

[jaylach]

Everything is legal if you have money for the fines

And the only difference between being good and bad is getting caught...

 

[gwand]

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

 

[TwoTankAmin]

Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra was known as much for his wit as for his Hall of Fame baseball talents. His "yogi-isms" are some of the most well-known quotes around, even if you didn't know they came from Yogi.
But witty quotes are not the only thing worth remembering about Yogi Berra. At only 5'8" tall, he was none the less a giant of a man. Yogi left school after 8th grade to help provide for his family, who was barely living above the poverty level. Later in life, he served his country bravely in World War and was part of the D-Day invasion of France.

When it comes to the game of baseball, Yogi is on the shortlist of lifetime achievements. A three-time MVP, he was perhaps the most dangerous lifetime .285 hitter in baseball history, playing in 75 World Series games with a base hit in an amazing 71 of them. As a manager, he took both the New York Yankees and New York Mets to the World Series. But aside from all of Berra's accomplishments on and off the baseball diamond, he may be best known for some of the greatest quotes in American lexicon.

While there are many, here our Top 20 Yogisms:​

1. "When you come to a fork in the road.... take it."
2. "You can observe a lot by just watching."
3. "It ain't over till it's over."
4. "We made too many wrong mistakes."
5. "No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded."
6. "I always thought the record would stand until it was broken."
7. "Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too."
8. "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."
9. "Pair up in threes."
10. "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there."
11. "The future ain’t what it used to be."
12. "I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4."
13. "If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be."
14. "You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go."
15. "Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
16. "Never answer an anonymous letter."
17. "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
18. "Take it with a grin of salt."
19. "It gets late early out here."
20. "I never said most of the things I said."

 

[davros]

 

[gwand]

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts!