Tell me something funny

[connorlindeman]

I randomly remembered this video just now

 

[TwoTankAmin]

What do you get when your pet parakeet flies into the blades of your lawn mower?





Shredded tweet.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

There once was a poet named Dan
Whose verses would never scan.
When told it was so,
Said, "Yes, I know."
But you see this is because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can?

 

[TwoTankAmin]

The toad ate my baby.....

 

[pettygil]

OR original song Dead puppies. I just changed it to dead guppies.

Dead guppies, dead guppies
Dead guppies aren't much fun

They don't come when you call
They don't chase my fingers, nor his ball
Dead guppies aren't much fun

My guppy died late last fall
He's still rotting in the tank down the hall
Dead guppies aren't much fun, no, no, no
Mom says guppy's days are through
She's going to throw him in the stew
Dead guppies aren't much fun

Dead guppies, dead, dead, dead, dead guppies
Dead guppies aren't much fun

Come on everybody out there, sing along, okay?

Dead, dead, dead, dead, guppies, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead dead dead guppies
Dead guppies aren't much fun

One more time for dead guppies!

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead guppies
Dead guppies aren't much fun

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Rocky998]

(Sorry about the top portion)

 

[davros]

Hey Badger:

 

[sharkweek178]

 

[Rocky998]

 

[emeraldking]

Yes, we are truly related to apes...
So many things one can conclude just by observing...

 

[Back in the fold]

@emeraldking A buck says he eats it .

 

[WhistlingBadger]

OK, how about some musician jokes? A lot of these apply to artists in general, @JuiceBox52 .

What's the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza?
The large pizza is capable of feeding a family.

How do you identify a professional drummer's car?
The Domino's Pizza sign on top.

What's the range of an oboe?
About 40 yards if you have a good arm.

What is perfect pitch?
Throwing the banjo into the dumpster so it lands right on top of the oboe.

What's the difference between a dead racoon on the road and a dead euphonium player on the road?
The racoon might have been on his way to a paying gig.

Little boy: "Dad, I want to be a musician when I grow up."
Dad: "You can't have it both ways, son."

Why do bagpipe players always walk around while they play?
They're trying to get away from that awful noise.

 

[Rocky998]

Why is it true though?

 

[JuiceBox52]

What's the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza?
The large pizza is capable of feeding a family.

The sad truth that art is very rarely a livable income