@Salty&Onion, you have a lot to live for. I suffered through a very deep depression years ago and considered taking my life. Instead, I got help and became a much stronger and better person from my experience. I ended up in psychiatric nursing. When we are depressed, we begin having “all or nothing” thinking. Everything is “all bad”, or “all difficult”, etc. This is our brain telling us lies. “”I’m never going to be happy” is an all or nothing thought and it is a lie. No one goes through life never being happy. You need to catch those negative thoughts and change them into positive ones. I suggest you get some books on Cognitive Therapy and read them. David D. Burns wrote a book called “Feeling Good”. It teaches cognitive therapy and is easy to understand. I have learned to identify self-defeating thoughts and to change them into positive thoughts. For instance, I may think “Quarantine is killing me.” I then stop and say,” no, it is giving me a chance to rest and regroup. “ One last thing...My father committed suicide. It was a selfish act that caused intense pain for our entire family. Never do that to anyone you love! My prayers are with you.
