Siblings having tanks

[Shnookina]

If it was me (having 2 younger sisters myself) I would have a serious talk with them and show them what to do and leave them to it, and say come to me if you have problems. If their fish die its a lesson for them to learn.

 

[phishluvr]

I don't really see how grounding them is going to make them enjoy the fish any more.  I realize they need to take responsibility in choosing to use the tanks and fish, but making them dislike taking care of fish isn't going to solve anything.

I agree. Having two young children myself, I can say that making anything out to be a chore will immediately cause a disinterest. Since they've already figured out that you will take up their slack, you'll have to spend some more time to shift the duties.

Here's my suggestions:

1. Set up a cleaning day and have them participate. The first time you may have to schedule this far in advance with reminders, "tomorrow is cleaning day." If one can't come at the last minute, reschedule. As you siphon one of your tanks, explain the steps as you go. Even if you've done this all before, have them watch again as a refresher. Do this on YOUR tank, not theirs. Your demeanor during this is very importatnt as well. Be as matter-of-factly as you can. Ever see Mr. Rogers? be mr. rogers... seriously, be calm and discuss the how not the why. Have them take a try at siphoning while you're doing yours. (start with the youngest one, or the one most interested, or rolling their eyes the least...) Then let them do it on their own tank. Observe the first time to help with technique.

2. It is very important that once you begin with cleaning day and expect their participation, do not ever touch their tanks again. For all intents and purposes, these are not solely their tanks right now. You have taken responsibility on yourself in part because you care for the fish too and they know that if they wait out your nagging, you will do it. By making a set montlhy cleaning day, you can establish a routine that keeps them on track and where you will be around to guide if something comes up.

3. Buy a water test kit...the ones with the drops and test tubes... and let them test the water before and after. It's a fun thing playing with all the chemicals. And it shows them what's going on that isn't about ridding the tank of algae. Let them follow the steps in the instructions and read the results info in the booklet that usually comes with the kit. This alone often could spark interest in the tank chemistry without it being a lecture.

4. Go ahead and buy the timers. It will keep the amount of light everyday consistent for the fishies. Wait until after the first cleaning day to give them so it becomes a new gizmo vs. a fix to their problem.

5. Here's the hard part... you have to let go. They have to be allowed to make their decisions and errors with the hobby to let it truly become their tanks. They are old enough to do this. If one wants another fish, please avoid saying 'yes' or 'no'. Instead, offer advice or suggestions. "I wouldn't recommend that you buy another fish. the dp's tend to be territorial and you could end up with a dead fish or having to return it" Then if they still want to, it is their decision and their experiment. Yes, you care very much for all fish, but let them do this.

6. If your siblings decide that the caring-for part is not worth it, then they can take it down. Again, this is their decision. Let them ask for your help to find new homes for the fish or tearing down the tank. No threats anymore or lectures. Try to stay calm and helpful, not angry or put-out, through this all. It shouldn't take but the first time before they get the jist that you're not doing it anymore, and a few times to realize that you are there to offer friendly advice and suggestions. You've helped them to understand the hobby, and how to care for the fish. They're very lucky that they have such a fish expert in the house to answer questions or concerns. And, very lucky that there may be a similar interest to share with their older sibling.

 

[Raechal]

I tried giving them the food once, and they majorly overfed them. So now I will give them the food and they will feed them.

I showed my little brother my two male bettas working on their bubble nests and he was really interested. He then went into his room to check on his cories and his tank. Maybe I should just keep them interested in the hobby.

 

[LifeBear]

They may need reminding, make sure you let them know when you are taking care of your tanks. The "Cleaning Day" idea was good.

If your sister wants more fish, thats fine. DON'T YOU BUY THEM FOR HER!!! Maybe if it is her money in the venture she will take better care.

I wish I was there. I would love those dwarf puffers.

 

[Dorkhedeos]

me agree with phishluvr