The great poet Adrian Mitchell, back in the 50s...
Giving Potatoes
STRONG MAN
Mashed potatoes cannot hurt you, darling
Mashed potatoes mean no harm
I have brought you mashed potatoes
From my mashed potato farm.
LADY
Take away your mashed potatoes
Leave them in the desert to dry
Take away your mashed potatoes-
You look like a shepherd's pie.
BRASH MAN
A packet of chips, a packet of chips,
Wrapped in the Daily Mail,
Golden juicy and fried for a week
In the blubber of the Great White Whale.
LADY
Take away your fried potatoes
Use them to clean your ears
You can eat your fried potatoes
With birds-eye frozen tears.
OLD MAN
I have borne this baked potato
O'er the Generation Gap,
Pray accept this baked potato
Let me lay it in your heated lap.
LADY
Take away your baked potato
In your fusty musty van
Take away your baked potato
You potato-skinned old man.
FRENCHMAN
She rejected all potatoes
For a thousand nights and days
Till a Frenchman wooed and won her
With pommes de terre Lyonnaise.
LADY
Oh my corrugated lover
So creamy and so brown
Let us fly across to Lyons
And lay our tubers down.
Giving Potatoes
STRONG MAN
Mashed potatoes cannot hurt you, darling
Mashed potatoes mean no harm
I have brought you mashed potatoes
From my mashed potato farm.
LADY
Take away your mashed potatoes
Leave them in the desert to dry
Take away your mashed potatoes-
You look like a shepherd's pie.
BRASH MAN
A packet of chips, a packet of chips,
Wrapped in the Daily Mail,
Golden juicy and fried for a week
In the blubber of the Great White Whale.
LADY
Take away your fried potatoes
Use them to clean your ears
You can eat your fried potatoes
With birds-eye frozen tears.
OLD MAN
I have borne this baked potato
O'er the Generation Gap,
Pray accept this baked potato
Let me lay it in your heated lap.
LADY
Take away your baked potato
In your fusty musty van
Take away your baked potato
You potato-skinned old man.
FRENCHMAN
She rejected all potatoes
For a thousand nights and days
Till a Frenchman wooed and won her
With pommes de terre Lyonnaise.
LADY
Oh my corrugated lover
So creamy and so brown
Let us fly across to Lyons
And lay our tubers down.