Crazy Stories Thread

[OliveFish05]

I predict that you and your brother are going to be very close as you get older. The family that kicks together, sticks together.

He and I are only 16 months apart. He is closer to my younger sister, who is almost exactly 2 years younger than me (her birthday is two days before mine) but all 5 of us are really close. It makes me so sad to see how uninvolved some siblings are with eachother

 

[OliveFish05]

I’ve got another story!

One of the rarest types of shells is the Junonia. We went down to Sanibel Island to do some shelling and we all wanted so badly to find a Junonia. We obviously didn‘t but were sooooo disappointed. After we got home, we were cleaning the garage. We found a small box of shells from a Florida visit years before, and tucked in the box was a small junonia. It was small, worn, and faded but it was a Junonia all the same.

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

When my dad went to Fiji decades ago he collected shells and dead coral. We still have a few boxes of them in the garage.

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

Ooh! Another story!

When my dad was 12, one of his best friends, let’s call him J, collected comics. Spent all his hobby money on comic books. 15 years later, J stayed in the house my family resides in right now. He lived here for a year and a half, before deciding to move to Canada (with his parents). Well, he still had his comic books, which he kept in storage. He couldn’t bring 12 4x2’ boxes of comic books With him, so he tossed em next to a dumpster. My parents were pissed when they heard this. They went to bring them back. To this day we have 100s of pounds of mint condition comics from 1990. Probably 300 per box

 

[Crispii]

Yo, my buddy Keith had his car drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here... Yeah, see, he was driving over it late at night and there in the middle of the bridge was what looked like, In Keith's estimation, like a dead bear, so Keith gets out his car to find a stick to poke at it right? Well, it turns out it's just some lady's fur coat that musta fallen out her car, so, hey, free coat, right? Now, owls won't normally attack a man, but in this case, they were hungry, and that made them reckless, man. Keith reckons that they musta been there for hours watchin' what they thought was a bear carcass, 'cause as soon as he picked it up, them owls had claws in him inch deep. Well, Keith figures his best bet is to jump in a lake, 'cause owls can't swim. Well, them owls could. He fought them for like 20 minutes treading water, and during that time, a boat came, bridge went up and down went Keith's car. Man, sometimes nature's just tryin' to teach us, if we'd only listen.

 

[OliveFish05]

Yo, my buddy Keith had his car drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here... Yeah, see, he was driving over it late at night and there in the middle of the bridge was what looked like, In Keith's estimation, like a dead bear, so Keith gets out his car to find a stick to poke at it right? Well, it turns out it's just some lady's fur coat that musta fallen out her car, so, hey, free coat, right? Now, owls won't normally attack a man, but in this case, they were hungry, and that made them reckless, man. Keith reckons that they musta been there for hours watchin' what they thought was a bear carcass, 'cause as soon as he picked it up, them owls had claws in him inch deep. Well, Keith figures his best bet is to jump in a lake, 'cause owls can't swim. Well, them owls could. He fought them for like 20 minutes treading water, and during that time, a boat came, bridge went up and down went Keith's car. Man, sometimes nature's just tryin' to teach us, if we'd only listen.

Daaaaaaaang! Owls can be vicious!

 

[Crispii]

My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year. It wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money, and he might've just been a homeless guy, 'cause he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face...

 

[WhistlingBadger]

OK, here's a fun one, and a true one, unlike stories by certain people on this thread named Crispii.

About 20 years ago I was in Haiti, helping out some friends that were running an orphanage in Cap Haitien. One day we were out in a village somewhere, doing I can't remember what, with a few friends (including the future Mrs. Badger, incidentally). It was really, really hot. Brain-meltingly hot, at least for a bunch of people from Wyoming. While breaking for lunch, I got to talking with a Haitian lady who happened by and was curious to talk to some (extremely) white people. I say "talking," but since she spoke no English, and I knew maybe 15 or 20 words of Haitian Kreyol, it was more like a game of charades.

Well, somehow she got across to me that she thought it was odd that we were suffering from the heat so much, since she lived there and didn't know any different. I tried to explain to her that it was cold where we lived, but none of us knew the word for "cold." I tried drawing mountains in the dirt, pointing at them and saying, "my home." She just smiled and shrugged, and I realized that they have mountains in Haiti, where it is 175F instead of 190F.

Ever notice how such things can take on a life of their own? I started trying to tell her that where we live, there is snow. This poor lady had probably never even seen a picture of snow, but that didn't occur to me at the time. Nobody knew the word for snow, and "white from the sky" didn't register with her. Finally, someone (might have been the future Mrs. Badger) came up with the Kreyol word for ice. So with a combination of words and gestures I told her that where we live, ice comes from the sky, thinking that would clear it all up. (I think we had both forgotten what the overall point was, by that point) When I told her about ice coming from the sky, her eyes got big like she was scared, and she kind of didn't want to talk to me anymore.

I was worried that I had said something offensive, so on the drive back, I recounted the conversation for my Haitian friend Moses. When I got to the part about ice from the sky, he started laughing his head off. "Thomas, Thomas, I will show you ice in Haiti." He took a quick detour through an outdoor market. There was a guy with a generator hooked up to some kind of freezer, cranking out ice for sale. It came in blocks that were about 1' by 1' by 2'. Moses laughed again. "That is ice in Haiti, Thomas!"

The mental image I must have given that poor lady...

 

[Rocky998]

My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year. It wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money, and he might've just been a homeless guy, 'cause he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face...

Thats so horrible but thinking about it... Its kinda funny lol

 

[Crispii]

I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made home made bumper car ride with riding mowers in his back yard? Mower blade wounds over ninety percent of his body. I didn't run him over, either. He somehow managed to fall under his own.

 

[Rocky998]

I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made home made bumper car ride with riding mowers in his back yard? Mower blade wounds over ninety percent of his body. I didn't run him over, either. He somehow managed to fall under his own.

OH MY GOD! IS HE OK NOW!? Does he have any permanent damages to his body?

 

[WhistlingBadger]

A witch once turned Crispii's friend Keith into a newt.


He got better.

 

[GaryE]

I was working in a steel plant, when a soon to be fired guy threw a small portable gas tank into a garbage can. It being the seventies, soon after another fool tossed his cigarette butt in.
It was quite the explosion. No one was hurt, but the oil drum garbage can funneled everything straight up. Garbage rained down like snow as we all lay on our backs, either knocked down by the concussion or ducking behind machinery. My friend Mike was hit by a half chewed bologna sandwich.

Interestingly, that sandwich haunted Crispii's school a few years ago, until the second exorcism.

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

Keith once died and came back to life, then died again and got sent to Valhalla (Norse afterlife). He then proceeded to kill all the trolls with his special Coffee Mug. Once doing this he proved his worth and returned to live a happy life

 

[Crispii]

Interestingly, that sandwich haunted Crispii's school a few years ago, until the second exorcism.

what?