Crazy Stories Thread

[OliveFish05]

How about another crazy story? (Have I met my quota yet? I enjoy telling stories. Feel free to tell me to pipe down and go do something productive)

When I was a lot younger, I studied taekwondo with a guy named Jae Ho Sim. (probably misspelled) Jae Ho was a bit like Master Yoda: Unassuming, funny, humble, one of the kindest and most generous guys you're ever likely to meet...who could also kick your butt about three different ways without exerting himself. I never learned the exact extent of his expertise, but I know he had been a member of the first U.S. Olympic taekwondo team, and he had high-degree black belts in at least three different martial arts. At some point before this story happened, one of the advanced students had asked Jae Ho what he'd do if someone could knock him down, and he had jokingly replied that he'd give them a black belt. It was kind of a running joke around the dojong.

Anyway, there was a big group of us that always worked out together, and we all got to be pretty good friends. One halloween there was a costume party at the informal part of the dojong. We weren't doing taekwondo, just having a party. Jae Ho was dressed like a clown, drinking a cup of punch and cracking jokes with a few other people, when one of the red belts decided to take the dare. His name was Dan if I remember correctly, a really talented fighter who was about to test for his black belt anyway. He snuck up behind Jae Ho and grabbed him by the shoulders. In about as much time as it takes to sniff, Jae Ho dropped into a crouch, flipped Dan over his shoulder and slammed him to the mat, dropped a knee on his chest, and cocked a fist back ready to drop a punch. He was laughing.

And he didn't spill his drink.

As far as I know, nobody ever tried that again.

That is epic. The amount of skill... He must have really loved it

 

[WhistlingBadger]

That is epic. The amount of skill... He must have really loved it

He was Master Yoda.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

I have a tale of misfortune I'd like to share it was a long time ago now, at the time mortifying but I laugh from my belly about it now...

It was the middle of winter back in Nottingham where we used to live and there was a little park that we used to like walking the dog. There was a pathway that bordered a football field that we'd walk along while the dog would chase his ball. This particular afternoon Mr Barnicles had insisted he'd like to go to this particular park instead of doing a 'round the houses' walk. So we walk through the gate, past some kids in the little playground and onto the field so that Copper could get his exercise. It was very pleasant, we passed a lady on our way in and we were the only ones there. We meandered around the field a few times, it was cold but we were wrapped up in our big coats, scarves and gloves so it didn't really matter....but it was starting to get dark. As the light was diminishing I suggested we go back and grab some chips on our way home and cozy up under a blanket and watch Deadliest Catch. We walked out and back past the playground and to our horror the big metal spiked gate had been padlocked closed! There were no lights in the park and it was getting dark very quickly as it often does in the winter here! We noticed the sign on our entry that said the gates will be locked at 6pm but we didn't take into account the short winter days. We phoned the local council who tried to contact the park keeper but unfortunately couldn't get hold of him...and when we asked what we should do were told to ring the fire brigade! It was awful having to explain what had happened but I was pleased when they turned up...however not so pleased that a small crowd of townsfolk had gathered to spectate...I was anticipating a big bolt cutter to cut through the padlock and free us but noooo....that would be damaging property apparently! They had to get their ladders out and escort us individually up and over the fence! There I was in my winter dress and a dachshund under one arm clinging for dear life to the poor fireman (laughing his socks off by the way) climbing these ladders and trying my very best not to fall off and impale myself....all whilst an even larger crowd of townsfolk gathered laughing and pointing at our shenanigans I was so humiliated we just went straight home and I never did get my chips

 

[Rocky998]

I have a tale of misfortune I'd like to share it was a long time ago now, at the time mortifying but I laugh from my belly about it now...

It was the middle of winter back in Nottingham where we used to live and there was a little park that we used to like walking the dog. There was a pathway that bordered a football field that we'd walk along while the dog would chase his ball. This particular afternoon Mr Barnicles had insisted he'd like to go to this particular park instead of doing a 'round the houses' walk. So we walk through the gate, past some kids in the little playground and onto the field so that Copper could get his exercise. It was very pleasant, we passed a lady on our way in and we were the only ones there. We meandered around the field a few times, it was cold but we were wrapped up in our big coats, scarves and gloves so it didn't really matter....but it was starting to get dark. As the light was diminishing I suggested we go back and grab some chips on our way home and cozy up under a blanket and watch Deadliest Catch. We walked out and back past the playground and to our horror the big metal spiked gate had been padlocked closed! There were no lights in the park and it was getting dark very quickly as it often does in the winter here! We noticed the sign on our entry that said the gates will be locked at 6pm but we didn't take into account the short winter days. We phoned the local council who tried to contact the park keeper but unfortunately couldn't get hold of him...and when we asked what we should do were told to ring the fire brigade! It was awful having to explain what had happened but I was pleased when they turned up...however not so pleased that a small crowd of townsfolk had gathered to spectate...I was anticipating a big bolt cutter to cut through the padlock and free us but noooo....that would be damaging property apparently! They had to get their ladders out and escort us individually up and over the fence! There I was in my winter dress and a dachshund under one arm clinging for dear life to the poor fireman (laughing his socks off by the way) climbing these ladders and trying my very best not to fall off and impale myself....all whilst an even larger crowd of townsfolk gathered laughing and pointing at our shenanigans I was so humiliated we just went straight home and I never did get my chips

I'm so sorry for that... But at the same time

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

I'm so sorry for that... But at the same time

I can look back and laugh now but at the time it was soooo embarrassing

 

[Rocky998]

I can look back and laugh now but at the time it was soooo embarrassing

Yeah, I get what ya mean

 

[OliveFish05]

Oh noooooooooooooooooo. That is so humiliating, but very funny.

 

[Herpin Man]

I have a tale of misfortune I'd like to share it was a long time ago now, at the time mortifying but I laugh from my belly about it now...

It was the middle of winter back in Nottingham where we used to live and there was a little park that we used to like walking the dog. There was a pathway that bordered a football field that we'd walk along while the dog would chase his ball. This particular afternoon Mr Barnicles had insisted he'd like to go to this particular park instead of doing a 'round the houses' walk. So we walk through the gate, past some kids in the little playground and onto the field so that Copper could get his exercise. It was very pleasant, we passed a lady on our way in and we were the only ones there. We meandered around the field a few times, it was cold but we were wrapped up in our big coats, scarves and gloves so it didn't really matter....but it was starting to get dark. As the light was diminishing I suggested we go back and grab some chips on our way home and cozy up under a blanket and watch Deadliest Catch. We walked out and back past the playground and to our horror the big metal spiked gate had been padlocked closed! There were no lights in the park and it was getting dark very quickly as it often does in the winter here! We noticed the sign on our entry that said the gates will be locked at 6pm but we didn't take into account the short winter days. We phoned the local council who tried to contact the park keeper but unfortunately couldn't get hold of him...and when we asked what we should do were told to ring the fire brigade! It was awful having to explain what had happened but I was pleased when they turned up...however not so pleased that a small crowd of townsfolk had gathered to spectate...I was anticipating a big bolt cutter to cut through the padlock and free us but noooo....that would be damaging property apparently! They had to get their ladders out and escort us individually up and over the fence! There I was in my winter dress and a dachshund under one arm clinging for dear life to the poor fireman (laughing his socks off by the way) climbing these ladders and trying my very best not to fall off and impale myself....all whilst an even larger crowd of townsfolk gathered laughing and pointing at our shenanigans I was so humiliated we just went straight home and I never did get my chips

Something very similar happened to me a few years ago. I travel quite a bit on business. My last stop on this particular cold winter afternoon was in a small town in Wisconsin. After my meeting, I decided to stop and take a look at the small city owned zoo. I had the whole place to myself. It didn’t take too long to see everything, and when I tried to leave, the gate was locked. Whoever locked up had to have seen my car in the spot closest to the gate, but whatever.
After wandering around the closed zoo for about twenty minutes, I found a caretaker. He had a good laugh over my misfortune, and insisted on taking me around the zoo on his golf cart, giving me an oral history of the zoo and many of the specimens therein, before unlocking the gate.
So yes, as was once predicted by family and friends, I WAS locked up in a zoo.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

Something very similar happened to me a few years ago. I travel quite a bit on business. My last stop on this particular cold winter afternoon was in a small town in Wisconsin. After my meeting, I decided to stop and take a look at the small city owned zoo. I had the whole place to myself. It didn’t take too long to see everything, and when I tried to leave, the gate was locked. Whoever locked up had to have seen my car in the spot closest to the gate, but whatever.
After wandering around the closed zoo for about twenty minutes, I found a caretaker. He had a good laugh over my misfortune, and insisted on taking me around the zoo on his golf cart, giving me an oral history of the zoo and many of the specimens therein, before unlocking the gate.
So yes, as was once predicted by family and friends, I WAS locked up in a zoo.

A private zoo tour! Awesome!

 

[Tacocat]

Oooh, I love searching through this forum. I hope people don't mind if I bump this thread.

One time, last year in the summer, I was participating in a regatta for Optimists. If you don't know dinghies this is what optis look like(my face blurred out for obvious reasons)(Yes i know I look small but at that time I hadn't hit my growth spurt):

Anyway, while our coach was towing us to the regatta, we were on a downwind. Essentially, the wind blows directly into your back. This is the slowest way of sailing, but the easiest. However, the wind gods were not on our side that day, and decided to make it almost dead(no wind). So, our coach decided to tow us in to make the process faster. The club that was hosting the regatta had a massive sandbank, and because of this they marked out a specific area in which you could pass through. Straying anywhere outside of this area would be a lot of money for the motorboat driver who had the misfortune to go in. Anyway, as we were approaching the sandbank, a large rental boat started approaching this entrance from the boat docks(we were going to the dinghy ramps). The driver of the boat, to put it nicely, was an absolute and total ignoramus. My coach, still towing us, on a downwind(the wind picked up a little, not too much so that we would be flying, but enough that the coach would have to keep going if he wanted us to stay on the towline), was yelling at the guy to stop, as my coach had right of way. There were two girls on the deck of the boat, and they looked slightly amused. However, my coach hit the sandbank, and, because he was driving the club's fastest boat available to him(For towing boats), he dropped the towlines and pulled up the motor to prevent damage to the prop(sand on propellers is nasty stuff). However, we were still on a towline, and now headed straight for the rental. Because this boat is meant for 8-15 year olds, most people at this level(I was still a beginner racer) would be 9 to 12 maybe. However, me being 14 at the time and having to yell at two 10 year olds to untie their towlines ASAP was very stressful. Anyway, the kid who was at the front(the towlines were looped through each other so the one at the front had to undo the rest) was taking absolutely ages, and because we were on a towline, in order to turn to irons(head to wind), all of us would have to do it together. But, the kid at the front was incompetent, and we were fast approaching the boat(the wind also picked up, which didn't help). Then BANG! We hit the rental. At this point the two bikini girls on deck were frantically running around and yelling at the guy, as well as telling us "it's ok, it's ok, you'll be alright". Meanwhile the guy is starting to get stuck. He hit the sandbank at around the time my coach was yelling at him, and now he was starting to get really stuck. This guy was trying frantically to get out, and was at full engine power. Nevermind that there were two kids in tiny boats quite literally a meter away from the frothing, spinning metal blade in turbulent water. It was at this time that the wind was starting to become quite the annoyance, and with me attempting to be at the ready to free the next person as well as steering, I was having some great trouble as my boom(the thing that holds the sail sideways), was about to violently come over to my side.
After roughly 5 minutes, the guy at the front FINALLY undid the knot, and we were free. The rest of the day proceeded as it should have, we got to the ramp, took the boats out, packed them to be ready for the regatta next day, and rocketed back to our club. All in all that took 1 hour. When we were leaving, we saw that the rental boat was also leaving. It took an hour as well as an excavator that was handily in the area to get that guy out of there.

Moral of the story? Don't be a jerk and be courteous around sandbanks.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Weird wake up call this morning

About 0340 I was woken by a crunch, a grate, a thud and a car door slamming followed by noises up the passageway beside my flat.

About an hour later, having given up trying to get back to sleep, I got up and out infront of the flat is a van that is very out of place. Belongs to a local removal firm, small van used by staff who do quotations.

Nearside front wing totally mangled and nearside front tyre shredded. Not going to move without significant assistance, which might be an issue when people go to work later.

Since it is at the top of a little known cul-de-sac and no-one here works for the removals firm, I called the police incase its stolen.....afterall no-one is going to want a removal quote at this time of the morning and its never been up here before now, so its very out of place.

They have not had reports of any stolen vans from the firm but as the controller said, they might not realise it yet since the vans are usually in a yard.

The noises down the passageway...the only one not lit....could be from whoever was in the van and they would have hopped over the wall behind the flats.

Normally I would not bother with weird vehicles parking up outside but this one being so badly damaged and the hour that it showed up....kind of unsettled me. I did say to the controller that it might be completely innocent but then again.....you just never know, do you?



Photo is not great but the damage is front wing, door and wheel facing where I was standing in my room

 

[Tacocat]

Weird wake up call this morning

About 0340 I was woken by a crunch, a grate, a thud and a car door slamming followed by noises up the passageway beside my flat.

About an hour later, having given up trying to get back to sleep, I got up and out infront of the flat is a van that is very out of place. Belongs to a local removal firm, small van used by staff who do quotations.

Nearside front wing totally mangled and nearside front tyre shredded. Not going to move without significant assistance, which might be an issue when people go to work later.

Since it is at the top of a little known cul-de-sac and no-one here works for the removals firm, I called the police incase its stolen.....afterall no-one is going to want a removal quote at this time of the morning and its never been up here before now, so its very out of place.

They have not had reports of any stolen vans from the firm but as the controller said, they might not realise it yet since the vans are usually in a yard.

The noises down the passageway...the only one not lit....could be from whoever was in the van and they would have hopped over the wall behind the flats.

Normally I would not bother with weird vehicles parking up outside but this one being so badly damaged and the hour that it showed up....kind of unsettled me. I did say to the controller that it might be completely innocent but then again.....you just never know, do you?

View attachment 148747

Photo is not great but the damage is front wing, door and wheel facing where I was standing in my room

What ended up happening? That's a yikes. We've had a few false alarms but one of my parent's friends were renovating and somebody went in and there was nothing to steal except some light fixtures. They turned out to be 1000 cumulative.

edit: $1000 CAD

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Still awaiting the police to come check the van out. A neighbour needs to get to work and his car is directly infront of the van and thus pinned in by it, so has also reported it to the police to try and get it removed asap.

My neighbour confirmed that it cannot be driven, he thinks the front driveshaft is either bent or broken along with the suspension unit too.

It is totally knackered....and its now also raining too, so any fingerprints outside will be lost but there could be decent forensics on the inside.

 

[NannaLou]

The noises down the passageway...the only one not lit....could be from whoever was in the van and they would have hopped over the wall behind the flats.

Normally I would not bother with weird vehicles parking up outside but this one being so badly damaged and the hour that it showed up....kind of unsettled me. I did say to the controller that it might be completely innocent but then again.....you just never know, do you?

Did they send anyone out to check who was up and down the passage way..?

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Did they send anyone out to check who was up and down the passage way..?

The police have not been at all yet....I reported it on the triple 9......

My neighbour ended up driving across the communal grass area to get his car out, so he is not happy