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[Dorkhedeos]

maybe you can think about recipes for making some homemade food for your fish. B) oh yeah, you shouldnt call, cause if i had a gf and i did something wrong, i wouldnt be expecting her to call me back. only a thought, but if somebody does something wrong, and you forgive them, wouldnt they keep doing wrong stuff because they know you wont be mad?

 

[NinjaSmurf]

All I can say is this.


Stop.



He threatens your pets. He threatens to kill your pets if you do something wrong, or upset him. In essence he is making you do what he wants, say what he wants, because you don't want to upset him.


Your dating two people. One is a really nice guy who makes you feel awesome. The other guy is not someone you really like, but he comes with the deal, and that is a load of $hit. You shouldn't have to wonder whether or not you are going to come home to an empty tank because of something you said or did that pissed him off. It isn't going to go away, it won't get better if he isn't willing to acknowledge that he did something wrong. My mom was with a guy that was like this, she told me years later after we left him that he'd killed his ex-wifes dog because he was mad at her. He tried to kill my moms bird, and our ferrets and probably would have. Fear and paranoia isn't a pleasant thing. Wondering when he's going to move from just threatening to really doing something sucks, wondering when he's going to move onto you or someone you love is hell.


He's playing the game of 'I gave it to you and I can take it away.' This isn't something a healthy stable person does.



Do you really think he doesn' t know better? This is obviously the NOT the first time he bought the wrong type of fish for your tank, and now matter who many times you tell him he still does whatever he wants concerning getting fish. I'm sure he's heard you complain about store employees not knowing what they are talking about yet he listens. Once, twice even, are accidentle, more than that and he knows exactly what he is doing.


Dump him. Don't call, don't write, don't ask any mutual friends how he's doing or what they think he's going through. Don't give him what he wants, which is you coming to him and trying to make things work between you. That's what he wants, you crawling back to him. And while you don't see it this way, he does. Don't give him ammunition against you by wrecking his stuff, don't give him the time of day.



I hope your fish pull through, and I know you will find that you can find a better partner, but I seriously doubt he will ever find one better than you.

 

[Raechal]

All I can say is this.


Stop.



He threatens your pets. He threatens to kill your pets if you do something wrong, or upset him. In essence he is making you do what he wants, say what he wants, because you don't want to upset him.


Your dating two people. One is a really nice guy who makes you feel awesome. The other guy is not someone you really like, but he comes with the deal, and that is a load of $hit. You shouldn't have to wonder whether or not you are going to come home to an empty tank because of something you said or did that pissed him off. It isn't going to go away, it won't get better if he isn't willing to acknowledge that he did something wrong. My mom was with a guy that was like this, she told me years later after we left him that he'd killed his ex-wifes dog because he was mad at her. He tried to kill my moms bird, and our ferrets and probably would have. Fear and paranoia isn't a pleasant thing. Wondering when he's going to move from just threatening to really doing something sucks, wondering when he's going to move onto you or someone you love is hell.


He's playing the game of 'I gave it to you and I can take it away.' This isn't something a healthy stable person does.



Do you really think he doesn' t know better? This is obviously the NOT the first time he bought the wrong type of fish for your tank, and now matter who many times you tell him he still does whatever he wants concerning getting fish. I'm sure he's heard you complain about store employees not knowing what they are talking about yet he listens. Once, twice even, are accidentle, more than that and he knows exactly what he is doing.


Dump him. Don't call, don't write, don't ask any mutual friends how he's doing or what they think he's going through. Don't give him what he wants, which is you coming to him and trying to make things work between you. That's what he wants, you crawling back to him. And while you don't see it this way, he does. Don't give him ammunition against you by wrecking his stuff, don't give him the time of day.



I hope your fish pull through, and I know you will find that you can find a better partner, but I seriously doubt he will ever find one better than you.

I will sleep on that.

Goodnight and thanks again everyone.

 

[littlefishie]

Raechal, don't make me buy a long-distance card and call there so I can break up with him for you. Or talk some sense and courage into you.

Don't let him do this.. You deserve better, darlin'.. and you know it.
Good luck, I hope you have good news tomorrow.

 

[Raechal]

Raechal, don't make me buy a long-distance card and call there so I can break up with him for you. Or talk some sense and courage into you.

Don't let him do this.. You deserve better, darlin'.. and you know it.
Good luck, I hope you have good news tomorrow.

No, I won't force you to do that.

I will report back with any news tomorrow. Hopefully my fish will make it and my boyfriend will do a 100% turn around and be Mr.Romance. I wish.

 

[havoc_crazy]

All I can say is this.


Stop.



He threatens your pets. He threatens to kill your pets if you do something wrong, or upset him. In essence he is making you do what he wants, say what he wants, because you don't want to upset him.


Your dating two people. One is a really nice guy who makes you feel awesome. The other guy is not someone you really like, but he comes with the deal, and that is a load of $hit. You shouldn't have to wonder whether or not you are going to come home to an empty tank because of something you said or did that pissed him off. It isn't going to go away, it won't get better if he isn't willing to acknowledge that he did something wrong. My mom was with a guy that was like this, she told me years later after we left him that he'd killed his ex-wifes dog because he was mad at her. He tried to kill my moms bird, and our ferrets and probably would have. Fear and paranoia isn't a pleasant thing. Wondering when he's going to move from just threatening to really doing something sucks, wondering when he's going to move onto you or someone you love is hell.


He's playing the game of 'I gave it to you and I can take it away.' This isn't something a healthy stable person does.



Do you really think he doesn' t know better? This is obviously the NOT the first time he bought the wrong type of fish for your tank, and now matter who many times you tell him he still does whatever he wants concerning getting fish. I'm sure he's heard you complain about store employees not knowing what they are talking about yet he listens. Once, twice even, are accidentle, more than that and he knows exactly what he is doing.


Dump him. Don't call, don't write, don't ask any mutual friends how he's doing or what they think he's going through. Don't give him what he wants, which is you coming to him and trying to make things work between you. That's what he wants, you crawling back to him. And while you don't see it this way, he does. Don't give him ammunition against you by wrecking his stuff, don't give him the time of day.



I hope your fish pull through, and I know you will find that you can find a better partner, but I seriously doubt he will ever find one better than you.

good advice...

that guy is a mean, cruel, apathetic, dammed to h3ll @#^*)&!@#&(@*$&......... like NinjaSmurf said, forget that guy

gl with the fish too

 

[handsomeboy]

he has a newspaper signed by david copperfield?

go tell my copperfield what he did to your fish, and then see what his idol thinks of him

 

[RandomWiktor]

Abusing animals is one of the first signs of a person who will move on to abuse children, their spouses, etc. I think that the way he acted shows that he not only has some severe anger issues, but that he is a disturbed human being. It is almost a good thing that this happened now, before you ended up getting married and having children. After all, what would he do when the kids broke his favorite item or kept him up all night? I shudder to think.

I'm so sorry about what happened to your fish and to your relationship. Hopefully the fish will survive the ordeal.

 

[CTS]

sorry to hear about this mess. I hope you and the fishies will be ok!!!

 

[Mr Miagi]

Send him to sleep with the fishes. LOL

What a total jerk off. Man, i would have bet the absolute crap out of him. And instead of placing his things "outside" the apartment or whateva, i would have thrown them out the window like he did the fish. He is one strange man who needs help.

JACK*&S. U need sumone better.

 

[aloaring]

Hey Raechel,
So sorry to hear what happened to your fish and to you. If you ever need to talk just PM me. I have just split up with my boyfriend of 4 years and kind of know how you feel. I think you are like me: You know hes bad for you but you just can't help loving him cause when its good its really good. But the fact that you've got all these doubts about him is a sure fire sign that its coming to an end. Sometimes its no helping guys. My boyfriend had issues that i couldn't help him with and its up to them to sort themselves out !! Hope you and the fish are okay!!

 

[Candyco]

Hi.... I went through a very violent relationship but that was towards me, my children & my pets.
There is a way out if that's what you really want. At the end of the day the choice is totally yours. If you decide to make another go of it with him could i just advise you to go & get your own fish in future.... that way there will be no arguments over the subject. Perhaps try & get him into the hobby & give him a bit of understanding on fish keeping!

 

[Johnny V]

It's weird. People have the same ability as other animals (heightened to a new level due to our increased amounts of trainable neuron pathways) to become a product of their environment. People can be totally nice normal people, but when exposed to, or a lack thereof, a certain trait constantly as a child, take it on unaware that it differs from their normal disposition. This causes problems much later in life when they realize their thoughts and beliefs aren't lining up with each other. Much like your boyfriend. It seems (i dont know anything about your situation, i just like the sound of myself typing) that he has had the idea that fish aren't real animals pounded into him, or maybe that animals are less then people and so deserve to be treated as such. If you think you can turn him around in his thinking, go for it. But if you think that its hopeless, and he wont change his beliefs or (i hope not for his sake) his actions are just symptoms of a greater underlying harmful issues, then maybe its better if you think carefully about not seeing him anymore. Like someone else posted, abusing animals is sometimes a sign that a person is wound up emotionally, and needs to lash out. It's horrible when it's animals, it's even worse when it's peers and children.

 

[BigFishSmallPond]

No need for police but you were right. Toss his crap in the lawn. At least his crap aint living creatures. If he would do that to fish while having a temper tantrum over nothing what will he do to you? Ditch the beatch. You and ya fish dont need em


keep ya head up raechel and keep lookin after them poor fish You dont need that whiner, the fish need you! I know you could get him his own tank... and stuff him into it.

-ak

 

[OoHeatheroO]

I went through 2 1/2 years of hell for my "first love." Trust me, after being thrown up against the wall a couple times near the end it made me leave. Don't let it escalate to that. I hope that you can find a better path for yourself like I did. There is someone out there that won't abuse you or the things you hold dear. You sound like a sweetheart and I hate seeing sweet people getting burned.