Your favourite jokes

[AmyKieran]

Tell me your favourite joke

 

[PheonixKingZ]

Who?

 

[GaryE]

A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve mushrooms in here".
The mushroom says "But why? I'm a fungi"

I went to a zoo and all they had was a dog. It was a shih tzu.

 

[Rocky998]

 

[SomethingsFishy24]

I have a lot of them, not necessarily my favorite but we like these ones and they are mostly kid friendly...mostly

1). How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
"MEAT PATTY"

2) What did the nut say as he chased another nut?
"I'M GOING TO CASHEW!"

3) Three moles were in a tunnel.
The first said, I smell sugar.
The second said, I smell cinnamon.
The last said, I smell molasses...

I'll see myself out.

 

[Rocky998]

I have a lot of them, not necessarily my favorite but we like these ones and they are mostly kid friendly...mostly

1). How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
"MEAT PATTY"

2) What did the nut say as he chased another nut?
"I'M GOING TO CASHEW!"

3) Three moles were in a tunnel.
The first said, I smell sugar.
The second said, I smell cinnamon.
The last said, I smell molasses...

I'll see myself out.

I just read the last one and ACTUALLY got it

 

[Essjay]

Please keep all jokes family friendly. Posts which are not will be deleted, and if many non family friendly jokes are posted the entire thread will be deleted.

 

[Guyb93]

Please keep all jokes family friendly. Posts which are not will be deleted, and if many non family friendly jokes are posted the entire thread will be deleted.

Exactly why iv kept my jokes to myself

 

[Rocky998]

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Here's my very favorite joke:

Two flies are sitting on a leaf. One whispers to the other, "Hey, fly, your man's open."

 

[Back in the fold]

A German housewife is looking all over town for her husband and can't find him. Eventually she stops in the barbershop to look and she asks the barber , "Vas my Heinie here ?". The barber replies , "no Ma'am , just haircuts and shaves".

 

[AmyKieran]

A German housewife is looking all over town for her husband and can't find him. Eventually she stops in the barbershop to look and she asks the barber , "Vas my Heinie here ?". The barber replies , "no Ma'am , just haircuts and shaves".

I’m sorry but I don’t get it?

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

Can’t go wrong with that’s what she said and yo mama

 

[Rocky998]

Can’t go wrong with that’s what she said and yo mama

Jo momma

 

[Back in the fold]

I’m sorry but I don’t get it?

Say it out loud with a heavy German accent. Vas my Heinie (her husband Heinrich) here ? Wash my heiny (derrière ) here ?
No Ma'am , we only give haircuts and shaves.
A joke isn't funny when you have to explain it. Must be a cross cultural thing.