Tell me something funny

[Rocky998]

 

[Herpin Man]

I learned that my family is a bunch of racists.
I started dating this very nice Filipino girl, and eventually brought her to meet the family. They all became extremely upset- especially my wife!

 

[TwoTankAmin]

And then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Rocky998]

This is a true story and some may get offended. Please don't read if you are easily offended.


One time this Hispanic man named Jesus (pronounced in Mexican of course) went to a Taco bell for lunch... He had his name taken and then sat down to wait for his food...
When it was ready one of the workers (not knowing Spanish at all) said: "Two tacos for Jesus, two tacos for Jesus"
But he said it as the English pronunciation
It took the guy a few calls to realize they were actually calling him.

 

[Rocky998]

My brother said this in one of his weird/funny moods...

"If I was rich I would buy so many things! An IPhone 13, a mini gun, a mansion, a yacht, a girlfriend, and a Lamborghini!"


"a yacht, a girlfriend, and a Lamborghini!"

How exactly does he want to do this?

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Colin_T]

I don't understand most of those pictures so I am just gonna say one thing. BOOGAS.

 

[Rocky998]

This is something I randomly thought of. The joke may already exist but idk.

Guy 1: *points handgun at guy 2*

Guy 2: *disarms him*

Guy 1: "BRO! YOU BROKE MY WRIST! IT WAS JUST MY HAND!"


Now typing it I'm thinking it sounded funnier in my head

 

[TheLavenderBadger]

I had a really dumb cat once. Name of Oreo. Once I made him a bed out of a cardboard box and put it in the bathroom. He slept in it all day, for about a month, then other people in my household got tired of tripping over the box bed and I moved it to the living room.
Oreo slept on the blank patch of tile where his box had been for like a week before he caught on

 

[Rocky998]

All plants, when in danger, release a chemical to the surrounding plants to let them know to strengthen up for the oncoming threat.
So every time you mow the grass its like committing genocide....
Or to you vegetarians... Wow, they scream while being chewed up in your mouth basically... Sad sad sad

 

[Rocky998]

"I don't curse"

*Me two minutes later banging my toe really hard on something*: "Agh, fuplie that hurt!"

 

[TwoTankAmin]

3 jokes in one.

 

[Sanityassassin]

Don't try this, it doesn't work. The damn nosey neighbours came out talking to me, asking if I was alright and such!!

 

[jaylach]

The true definition of politics....

1) Poly or poli is Greek for multiple or many.

2) We all know that tics are blood sucking insects.

Therefore the true definition of politics is simply 'many blood sucking insects'..... Actually sort of sad how well that fits...