Tell me something funny

[TwoTankAmin]

As Christmas approaches it is important to remember that any contract signed on Christmas day must contain a sanity clause....

And then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.......

 

[TwoTankAmin]

As an old person I grew to to B&W TV and a lot of movies from the 30s and 40s. I have seen the Marx Bothers and W.C. Fileds films. That was a different era for sure, so watch the following bearing that in mind.

William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler, and writer.

The Fatal Glass Of Beer (1933) W.C. FIELDS​

 

[WhistlingBadger]

"If at first you don't succeed, try try again. Then quit. There's no use being a darned fool about it."
--WC Fields

 

[Rocky998]

So my brother likes to do freezer "experiments" and not tell my mom...
His latest one was yesterday and he decided to fill a plastic bowl up with water and put utensils in there to freeze.
So he freezes it and then later takes it out.
Guess what he does next? He grabs the meat tenderizer and starts BANGING the ice chunk to get the utensils out.
My mom is like: "WOAH STOP! YOU'RE GONNA MESS UP OUR COUNTERS! JUST TAP IT!!"

My brother goes: "I am tapping mom!"

Then my mom and I both say: "That is NOT tapping. You are banging it hard."

Then my brother just goes: "Its heavy tapping"

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Wild animal comedy photograph winners:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/othe...5ed338564943ac2189e22118c76a#image=AA153hk6|1

 

[emeraldking]

It took me some effort but finally, the Christmas tree is standing...

 

[Fishmanic]

what? no fish ornaments?

 

[TwoTankAmin]

 

[DoubleDutch]

Holland scored in the final.minute against Argentina 2-2

 

[DoubleDutch]

Holland scored in the final.minute against Argentina 2-2

We lost by penalties. Grrrr.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

We lost by penalties. Grrrr.

Our head cook is Dutch, and she was just grouching about the same thing.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

what? no fish ornaments?

We have at least two fish ornaments on our tree. I'll see if I can get some pics this weekend.

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Rocky998]

 

[Rocky998]

When I die I'm going to make sure my phone goes to someone I trust very much with a note that says: "Text everyone after my funeral with my phone to thank them for coming and being there for me"