"proper" Attachment.

[kat and james]

i get really sad when a fish dies, new or old, you do feel like you have failed them, and seeing thier little lifeless body is very upsetting. but when my labrador of 12 years died, i was so upset, and it still upsets me greatly now, just talking or thinking about him, but maybe if i keep a fish for 12 years (i've only had our fish for a year now) then maybe i will feel more sad for their loss (although i doubt that it would be the same as it was for my lab). we grieve for these things, because we have built up a relationship with them, well with the dog at least, you feel sad for a fish because it is still a living thing, and it was your responsibility to look after and keep it alive.

i agree with bloo though, i don't grieve for the people who die in earthquakes or tsunamis, yes it is awful that they lost their lives, or that they suffered, and i do feel sad (but not in the same way you feel sorrow when a fish or beloved pet dies). how can you grieve for someone you don't know, and have never met. if they had not lost their lives in whatever natural disaster, then the chances are that your paths would never cross, and you wouldnt' grieve for them when they died of natural causes!

as for the second part of your post Nickoli, people only divulge the information that they want others to know, if you had repeat convictions for theft you wouldn't run around telling everyone, because they would judge you for it, and propbably not give you the time of day. you may think you know someone, but you actually only know what they want you to know, therefore i don't think it is possible for anyone to know everything about another person!

kat

 

[annka5]

I feel sad when a fish dies, but it's not really the same grief as you feel at the death of a freind/parent/etc. I actually do think that describing it as "grief" sort of belittles human emotion somehow.
Also, I don't think it's unreasonable for work coleagues to find it inappropriate to find you crying over any pet, including a fish.

 

[rdd1952]

I know I am new here, and I don't mean to try to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings at all.

To me, they are just fish. I have been a little upset when a fish died, but on the same level if I lost a screwdriver or allen wrench. Yes they are living organisms, and should not be abused, but they are still just fish and part of the cycle of life is that things die. Little fish are food for bigger fish, humans, bears, bacteria or whatever.

I don't think it is bad to be upset over a pet dying. But when you grieve more your fish that died over human suffering like in the tsunami from last year, earthquakes in Packistan, well, that is when I would start to think one's priorities is a little off.

Again, this isn't meant to sound mean or to belittle anyone. It is just that some events happen in life that can really give a clarity of perspective on the important aspect of life and death.

We all have different ideas of what our fish (or any pets) mean to us. I don't think much of anyone in here would put the lives of our non-human friends ahead of humans. I definitely felt for the victims of the hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes and tornados but I don't know them. I donated money and blood to them but other than that, I can only pray for them and their welfare. My pets and fish I know so when one dies, it affects me. As I said earlier, I doubt I will ever cry about a fish dying but I can understand why some people would.

 

[Inchworm]

Hi soritan

I think that it's perfectly natural to feel grief at the loss of any living creature in your care. It's helpful too, to express that grief, and that's why we have added these smilies: and Members use them often when posting about lost fish and other members use them to express their condolences.

We also have a Rainbow Bridge thread in the Household Pets section, where you are welcome to make a memorial post for your lost pet or fish.

http/www.fishforums.net/index.php?showtopic=42919

If you browse that thread, you will see what strong feelings people have for their furry, feathered and finned friends.