I see we're a forum of blind users.
a) I requested no flaming and wanted to hear of others' experiences who HAVE done this.
b) I'm experienced enough with fish keeping to seek out advice and listen to any advice given. I also take some advice with a pinch of salt. Just because something works for one person, doesn't mean it wont work for another
c) It's the reaction to this post from some that stopped me using this forum in the first place. It has become too full of people with heads bigger than their respective tanks. Experience is great, arrogance, modesty and downright rudeness is not and it certainly wasn't what I was looking for.
As a result of me being stupid, thick, un-knowledgeable and a 'silly person!!!!!' I shall take my questions, knowledge and love for tropical fish to pastures new. I guess I'll wake up to 4 tanks full of dead fish due to my lack of knowledge and experience.
I bid you all adieu.
Martin, we are not blind. We are a community of experienced fishkeepers who care about fish and want to see them well cared for. We understand that sometimes, reading stuff on the internet (like 'don't keep female bettas with males') doesn't get through to people, when a personalised reply - of which you have received several - will make them stop and think. As RandomWiktor said, the LFS does anything with a mind to getting a sale, we do this for free because we care about fish.
My own LFS is excellent, they know me well as a person, they know a lot about fish, and generally they don't do things for the sole purpose of getting a sale. I have great respect for them and I know they would never deliberately rip me off. But that doesn't mean that they can't be honestly mistaken. So I also take advice, from all sources, 'with a pinch of salt' - and I have to say that I would put the advice of several hundred experienced betta keepers and breeders from all over the Internet, over the advice of one person in one LFS.
Nobody has flamed you. People have expressed their disregard - fairly politely, and IMO with good reason - towards people who come on here asking for advice but do not want to listen to the answers provided. By asking only for people who HAVE done this successfully, you are essentially telling everybody who wants to try and explain to you why you shouldn't do this, 'don't bother'. You are setting yourself up for an empty thread, because nobody HAS done it successfully, certainly not in a five gallon anyway. You did receive one reply saying as much - that it may be possible in a large tank with numerous hiding places - but you dismissed it, along with all the others, as 'flaming' by 'big-headed' people. Your post sounded a lot more like flaming than any of theirs. Why should you flame people for sharing their opinons as asked to?
Just because something works for one person, doesn't mean it wont work for another
In this situation, I don't think the problem is what works for one person, but what works for a whole species of fish. This reminds me of the people who constantly want to attempt keeping two male bettas in an enormous tank. It seems to me like people just want to do anything widely regarded as impossible and stupid to attempt, just so they can say 'ner ner, I did x and everybody says x is impossible, Imabetterfishkeeperthanyou, UP YOURS!!!' It's quite possible, even likely, that your three bettas will eventually settle down. That they will live together, in that tank, with a small amount of fighting, and you'll see nipped fins and decide it doesn't matter cause you're getting your kicks. But what you won't see is the constant stress and misery of those fish living on a knife-edge, because Nature did not intend females to live in such close proximity to males except when breeding, and your pretty glass walls forbid them any escape. In the wild, if they were upset, they would choose to leave. You take away that option for them, and then you enjoy watching their misery, and when a large number of people try to explain to you that this is what you're doing, you tell us we're all big-headed and arrogant (but by the way, modest means the opposite: somebody who never boasts or makes too much of compliments).
We don't expect you will wake up with four dead tanks and nobody has suggested that you are an inept fishkeeper. All we have suggested is that you are inexperienced with bettas. Just because somebody can keep African cichlids in perfect condition, doesn't mean that that person would be able to maintain, say, a reef tank or a planted nano. Each type of tank and each species of fish requires individual research and when you start with a new project from the base up like this, you can still be considered a beginner - we will just be grateful that you already understand things like the nitrogen cycle, the need for regular maintenance and fish health and disease.
As for downright rudeness: it would appear that that's your job, and I will sign off before I begin the flame war I have attempted to circumvent... Adieu to you too, there are some attitudes that we just don't want on this forum. We will welcome you back when you listen to honest advice with an open mind.
seems to me that your LFS see you coming and make the most of bad info given.......a sale.
