I'm really struggling here.

[DoubleDutch]

An interesting interpretation of what I wrote. What do you think the members have done to Bruce in this thread.

Come on, now suddenly he is the victim?

Reminds me of an actor in a children's serie of sone years ago.
A secret agent that always was complaining he had such bad luck and people always harrassed / bullied him.

 

[itiwhetu]

Come on, now suddenly he is the victim?

Reminds me of an actor in a children's serie of sone years ago.
A secret agent that always was complaining he had such bad luck and people always harrassed / bullied him.

Look at the replies, this forum site has turned him into a victim, it is completely unnecessary.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

My first ever forum to join was a UK-forum.
More friendly, fine and polite people I have never "met". Friendships from 2014 still excist.
In all those years I have never read any insults, humiliation, shaming etc etc....

I think you may have been quite fortunate in that regard tbh

At the height of my time building and managing forums, 1998 til 2010 and 22 forums on the go at any one time on behalf of their US owner, it was extremely commonplace to arrive onsite in the morning and read through the pages of notes from my moderating staff regarding various members and their behaviours. It was not pretty much of the time. Most of my staff removed posts before the main membership saw them and left them for me to review in the hidden staff area (which every forum has). Some of the stuff posted by people would make your hair curl and not just by relative newbies but long standing, well respected members who had reached the end of their tether with someone.

Sadly there will always be arguments on forums, just as there is always arguments in life. Forums are different since members have a degree of anonimity, sat behind a keyboard and screen, some feel they can type what they want and they cannot be punished.....in my forums case, they were very wrong. I honestly cannot say how many reprimands and bans I gave out over the time I build and managed forums, it runs into the thousands. I always gave members time to cool off and gave them 3 chances to behave reasonably if the issue was close to the edge but sometimes I had no choice but to ban outright on both username and IP when they went over the TOS line badly enough.

I imagine that the same or similar happens here.....and that means that members are therefore largely insulated from the serious stuff and if the "playground squabbles" happen they get pounced on quickly and dealt with by warnings both on threads and via PM from staff.

But if you were lucky enough to participate in a friendly and clean forum, then that will be more to do with the staff being proactive and not so much about everyone getting on well 24/7.

 

[DoubleDutch]

I think you may have been quite fortunate in that regard tbh

At the height of my time building and managing forums, 1998 til 2010 and 22 forums on the go at any one time on behalf of their US owner, it was extremely commonplace to arrive onsite in the morning and read through the pages of notes from my moderating staff regarding various members and their behaviours. It was not pretty much of the time. Most of my staff removed posts before the main membership saw them and left them for me to review in the hidden staff area (which every forum has). Some of the stuff posted by people would make your hair curl and not just by relative newbies but long standing, well respected members who had reached the end of their tether with someone.

Sadly there will always be arguments on forums, just as there is always arguments in life. Forums are different since members have a degree of anonimity, sat behind a keyboard and screen, some feel they can type what they want and they cannot be punished.....in my forums case, they were very wrong. I honestly cannot say how many reprimands and bans I gave out over the time I build and managed forums, it runs into the thousands. I always gave members time to cool off and gave them 3 chances to behave reasonably if the issue was close to the edge but sometimes I had no choice but to ban outright on both username and IP when they went over the TOS line badly enough.

I imagine that the same or similar happens here.....and that means that members are therefore largely insulated from the serious stuff and if the "playground squabbles" happen they get pounced on quickly and dealt with by warnings both on threads and via PM from staff.

But if you were lucky enough to participate in a friendly and clean forum, then that will be more to do with the staff being proactive and not so much about everyone getting on well 24/7.

Arguments okay, but I still stand for there is not any need to humiliate, offend, provoke etc... people on this forum or what so ever.

 

[itiwhetu]

I think you may have been quite fortunate in that regard tbh

At the height of my time building and managing forums, 1998 til 2010 and 22 forums on the go at any one time on behalf of their US owner, it was extremely commonplace to arrive onsite in the morning and read through the pages of notes from my moderating staff regarding various members and their behaviours. It was not pretty much of the time. Most of my staff removed posts before the main membership saw them and left them for me to review in the hidden staff area (which every forum has). Some of the stuff posted by people would make your hair curl and not just by relative newbies but long standing, well respected members who had reached the end of their tether with someone.

Sadly there will always be arguments on forums, just as there is always arguments in life. Forums are different since members have a degree of anonimity, sat behind a keyboard and screen, some feel they can type what they want and they cannot be punished.....in my forums case, they were very wrong. I honestly cannot say how many reprimands and bans I gave out over the time I build and managed forums, it runs into the thousands. I always gave members time to cool off and gave them 3 chances to behave reasonably if the issue was close to the edge but sometimes I had no choice but to ban outright on both username and IP when they went over the TOS line badly enough.

I imagine that the same or similar happens here.....and that means that members are therefore largely insulated from the serious stuff and if the "playground squabbles" happen they get pounced on quickly and dealt with by warnings both on threads and via PM from staff.

But if you were lucky enough to participate in a friendly and clean forum, then that will be more to do with the staff being proactive and not so much about everyone getting on well 24/7.

I think this forum is very clean. I only ask that we can say what we believe in and are treated with respect.

 

[DoubleDutch]

Look at the replies, this forum site has turned him into a victim, it is completely unnecessary.

Uhhhh I just reread and the answers share the same message to me. Sometimes told a bit more straight forward than in other cases.

But come on. If you're insulting people you can expect a reaction. And in a strange way I expect that to be more or less the intention.

 

[itiwhetu]

Uhhhh I just reread and the answers share the same message to me. Sometimes told a bit more straight forward than in other cases.

But come on. If you're insulting people you can expect a reaction. And in a strange way I expect that to be more or less the intention.

I don't want a fight with you, the way Bruce has been treated in this thread is out of context and not fair. So I ask you all to back off and take a deep breath.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Arguments okay, but I still stand for there is not any need to humiliate, offend, provoke etc... people on this forum or what so ever.

Agreed

Difficult situation for me to comment on since I personally (and my staff) would not have allowed a thread to get to the stage where that happened. My staff would red flag a thread as becoming heated and watch it closely and jump in if tempers got too hot or the subject became too "personal"

I am still great friends with my old staff now even after all these years and they often say "oh I wish you were back in charge cos the standard of moderation has dropped since you left"

It is not easy to moderate every thread so when "playground squabbles" start or tempers start rising, I always encouraged members to hit the report. We would read it, throw in warnings if required or send PM's to those who are the most aggitated to calm things down. There are a lot of ways on VB/Xenforo forums that staff can use to calm things down but it also depends on members hitting report if they feel that they are being targeted or they see tempers rising tween others....staff cannot nip an issue in the bud if no-one is alerting them to it.

Threads like this one and the apology one the other day should not be appearing, things should not be getting to the stage where threads like this start popping up.

I know from experience that staff only have so many hours a day and not all of them will be spent online, but you the members can help them by alterting them to potential issues that might be arising and be able to put the fires out before things get too heated.

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Tbh...the staff here are awesome so please no taking my comments personally in this or my previous posts on this and the apology thread.

As staff cannot be online 24/7......you can get close to it with the various nationalities but you'll never have staffing 24/7 constantly

Alot of members of forums like this tend to shy away from hitting report when they see or sense things going wrong or they assume that other's have already done it.

Now I cannot speak for the staff here but when I was involved with forums I actually preferred to have an inbox full of reports. Reason being it showed that members did care about each other and the subject of the forum and they did not feel intimidated or unsure about flagging up potential problems, either about posts aimed at them or others in threads that were getting antagonistic or personal towards other members.

I would have much rather have that inbox full of reported posts and threads than see threads like this and the apology one. I would much rather someone flag it by a report with "hey, you might want to check this out, looking a bit iffy" than have members feeling hurt or angry or disrespected feeling that they have no alternative but to post a thread like this and the apology one cos that's how members drift away and when they drift away, they take their knowledge with them and that is never a good thing.

Never be afraid to hit report and never assume that someone else has already done it.....a forum is a community and a community will only work properly if people watch each other's backs and help each other and flag up potential issues before they turn into the towering inferno.

 

[itiwhetu]

This is way off topic now and needs to go somewhere else. Another Thread that has been lost in translation. It happens often on this forum site.

 

[emeraldking]

Time to step in as a mod overhere. Let's cut the whole blaming overhere. To me it doesn't matter who's to blame at this point. So, is it justified to put someone straight after being rude? Yes, it is. Please do... But people, this can be done in a very adult and calm way. We're no 5 years olds overhere. Different people come with different opinions. That's always been the case... And people are entitled to have their own view on things. But be reasonable to eachother...
If someone wants to put out a problem or a question concerning the aquaristic field (whatever that might be) overhere, He/she is entitled to do so. The expectation is that one or more members can cut in to be of any help to the OP. And even if someone has made a mistake, please reply in a normal way. Being passionate about fish or about any other life form, doesn't mean that the reply has to be harsh. Unless, someone puts a bullet in an animal for fun. There's no excuse for being harsh while being passionate. It doesn't add a thing. The OP only benefits of given advice in a proper way.
I'm a passionate aquarist myself, but I won't be harsh to someone else who's made a mistake. If I can do that, so can anyone else... Let's be adults!

 

[Fishmanic]

The motto of this forum is to have respect for others even if their methods differ from yours. You can point out your methods of fishkeeping but don't jump on people who don't agree with your methods. If others have made obvious mistakes, you can guide them to the proper way but if they choose not to follow it, just let it be-- don't hound them. The golden rule should apply here, treat others like you'd like to be treated. If arguments persist and tempers flare in a thread , a mod will lock it. So treat others with respect. If a member continues to troll or disrespect others, he risks being banned.

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

I know I shouldn't bother rising to this bait, but...

I think this forum is very clean. I only ask that we can say what we believe in and are treated with respect.

Which is what everyone who responded to this thread has been asking for. That members are not attacked and berated as idiots or wilfully cruel if they make a mistake.

I don't want a fight with you, the way Bruce has been treated in this thread is out of context and not fair. So I ask you all to back off and take a deep breath.

How on earth do you come to that conclusion? Bruce made this thread. He complained about people being too nice to others on here, while tagging someone he already been hostile and rude towards in a previous thread.

How is that out of context or unfair?

This is way off topic now and needs to go somewhere else. Another Thread that has been lost in translation. It happens often on this forum site.

The topic hasn't changed at all, and the translations seem to be clear to everyone else.

 

[Guest14017]

This is way off topic now and needs to go somewhere else. Another Thread that has been lost in translation. It happens often on this forum site.

If you knew the context behind this thread and WHY it was posted to begin with - you would definitely not say this. Nobody is lost here but you and the thread is VERY MUCH on topic.

 

[Herpin Man]

It’s my suspicion that, generally speaking, when people are overly critical of another on an online forum (any forum, not just this one) regarding their animal care, it isn’t over concern for the welfare of the animal, as they usually claim. They do it for the same reason people insult or demean each other over virtually everything else: to make themselves feel superior.
If someone REALLY has a concern over the care of animals belonging to others, they take a softer, and more informative approach.
The internet provides a great opportunity to be nasty to strangers, and many of us will take full advantage.