How Can We Stop The Flaming?

[Griz]

I'm not sure what all this recent concern about flaming is all about; I simply have not seen it. In fact, I think TFF is very friendly. Maybe it's just a case of some people having a rather loose definition of what flaming means, or they are just oversensitive. Pointing out an error or disagreeing with someone is not flaming. Neither is giving a response that happens to be a bit blunt and to-the-point.

 

[geo7x]

ugh, sorry to piss on the little parade we have going on here but these threads are really starting to get on my nerves, what exactly is going to be achieved by making a thread like this? I dont see a problem at all, this is a very friendly forum, and people who have been argumentative or trolling have been banned, surely youve noticed a few? i dont want to mention any names. There are thousand and thousands of people on this forum, now if could ever get allof those people in order with no arguments then hey weve made a revolution! We should go and tell tony blair or george bush our plan because we controlled hundreds of thousands of people. Its not going to work, especially a couple of threads like these, its going to cause more problems than its going to solve. Ive only been here a few months and what im wondering is why are we all so worried about this in the space of a week? I havent seen any more arguments in the last week than in the last few months, infact, i think we're going through a good patch, so im sorry, but making a thread to moan and groan and tell people to lighten up is just basically looking for an argument.

excuse me, its been a long day

 

[Griz]

Time for a group headshake. (reality check)
Flaming: Excerpts from the Wikipedia definition. http/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming

..sending or posting messages that are deliberately hostile and insulting.

A flame may have elements of a normal message, but is distinguished by its intent.

A flame is typically not intended to be constructive,...

Occasionally, flamers wish to upset and offend other members of the forum,

...flames are angry or insulting messages...



Now, seriously folks. Could someone in all honesty say that we have a problem with this sort of behaviour on this forum?

I just have one more very important thing to add from Wickipedia:

Similarly, a normal, non-flame message may have elements of a flame -- it may be hostile, for example -- but it is not a flame if it is seriously intended to advance the discussion.

 

[Cheffi]

Well said...again.

 

[SLC Flyfishing]

I guess all this was done for nothing, you guys are all totally missing my point. I guess Griz wants us all to abandon the term flame because it doesn't coincide with what wikipedia has to say, or does it? That definition seems a little self contradictory to me. The bottom line of that says that it's not a flame if it is meant to advance the discussion, well meant covers a very broad spectrum, I can say that this thread was never meant to get on wuv or geo7x's nerves but they might not believe that.

Really I could say, post a reply to a member that they should give up their cesspool of a tank and take up pet rocks and then pm all my buddies to chime in as well, and then (because I'm not done with the agression yet) I could start a new thread to allow everyone else to see just how "stupid" that member is but as long as I intended it to help his fish and advance the discussion it's still not a flame? (true example) yes it happened on the African Cichlid section and yes it pissed me off so fully that I've been on a bit of a crusade lately. I'm just suggesting that everyone think about wether your more "direct" "blunt" "head to the brickwall" replies are really making any headway with these people. I've never seen them make much progress and I have seen calmness and patience for the desires of an inexperienced aquarist who wants to believe that what his LFS told him is true making a difference.

wuvmybetta, if you read the paragraph that you took your quote from you'd have known that I'm not really suggesting any action on your part so don't worry, you'll have no extra work to do hope that lets you breathe a sigh of relief.

And to all the others who are disenchanted by the suggestion of more kindness and patience in replying to the questions of others I will pose one final thought then abandon this attempt and take up another tactic. Most of you have suggested that you are frustrated with others not taking your advice when it is not offered, you are frustrated with the unwillingness to see another viewpoint on what they are doing, YOU are frustrated with the potential of fishy deaths at the hands of newbies, you can't cope with the fact that others aren't willing to change, well that is exactly the same attitude that you are demonstrating here, only you refuse to acknowlege that you have an issue with tact, that's it and I'm merely pointing that out.

"head, meet brick wall, brick wall, head" (meant to further the discussion and as such not a flame)

just think about it, thats all I'm suggesting.

SLC

 

[Annastasia]

I know it's hard, but I find a calm, but firm response the best way to change things. When you get ticked off at them, automatically they get defensive because they feel you are attacking them. Then they will be less willing to take the advice, because they are not in the best mood. I'm not saying we should sugar coat everything. Definitely not. But we shouldn't freak out either.

That said, I think 99.9% of the time, the members of this forum do that very well. Good job, everyone.

Oh yes, and as said, if you have an issue, PM a mod. That's why we are here.

Edit: Yeah, reading back, I just echoed people. Oh well, I agree.

 

[wuvmybetta]

wuvmybetta, if you read the paragraph that you took your quote from you'd have known that I'm not really suggesting any action on your part so don't worry, you'll have no extra work to do hope that lets you breathe a sigh of relief.

phew, because we all know that was my biggest concern

Really I could say, post a reply to a member that they should give up their cesspool of a tank and take up pet rocks and then pm all my buddies to chime in as well, and then (because I'm not done with the agression yet) I could start a new thread to allow everyone else to see just how "stupid" that member is

those are the sorts of things that get people banned around here, or at least put on queue. You can't honestly say that you've seen someone do that more than once, without penalty. And if they have, by all means point a mod in their direction because they're outta here.


I think my point is, just in case you missed it, people are people and they will act as such. If one is a complete ass we usually do away with them after a series of warnings. Maybe it's up to the members to moderate the members as well? Maybe if you see someone who does the above quoted it's up to you to call them on it in a friendly fashion? I can't honestly remember a time where a member, who was in the right for speaking to another member regarding their behaviour in a calm orderly fashion, suffered consequence. Maybe by helping new,rude members fall in line you are in actuality saving them from a future banning. Ya catch more flies with honey...something,something.

Or maybe we just accept people for who they are, within reason.

 

[DiscusKeeper403]

i have one way i think we could get less flamming. some websites and even online video games have a vulgar word block so to speak if we could incorporate that into this website even just blocking words like stupid and stuff maybe that would help.

 

[Griz]

Vulgar words? It must be that there's an elephant in the room and I don't see it. Where is this all happening?

And to SLC Flyfishing: YOU (and others) used the word flaming, not me. I (and others) are just trying to point out that we don't see it. I chose wikipedia for the definition but that's not the point here. You know what it means, pick another sorce for the definition if you want. I ask the same question; where is all this flaming and such happening because I just don't see it. Perhaps it's going on in one of the forums I don't read too often? If so please let me know - I'd be more than happy to change my opinion.

 

[DiscusKeeper403]

all im saying is that people are being picked on i think that vulgar words should not be on this fourm anyways even if people arent using them to flame other people out. and there is flaming everywhere on this fourm! maybe you should take the blind fold off.

 

[wuvmybetta]

We already have a vulgar word censor in place. If we start censoring words like 'stupid'...aye aye aye.

 

[raptorrex]

cant say ive see any flaming! seen some posts that i feel are a bit harsh, some members are quite strident, and as anywhere, some dont like to be contradicted. but this is a medium of the written word. words said in the head by a poster, may read quite differently to someone else. The forum connects people who, on the whole, have nothing more in connon than a love or interest in fishkeeping. you are bound to find different views, personalitys, indeed that is why we use the thing, at least at first, to pick someone elesses brains, if we all thought and posted in the same manner, it is unlikley we would learn anything. lol in the end its just words on a screen. they may upset me but they are gone as soon as i click on the next post.

 

[pica_nuttalli]

and there is flaming everywhere on this fourm! maybe you should take the blind fold off.

everywhere? i can think of a few isolated instances where, yes, someone was definitely flamed. and so the flamer was reported to a mod and appropriate punishment was meted out.

if you feel that you or someone else is being flamed, hit the report button at the bottom of the post. if you feel that certain members are "following" you around on the forum to say mean things, contact a mod about the problem.

flaming is against the forum rules. period. therefore, it is perfectly acceptable to report a percieved flame to a mod--although the mod won't necessarily agree. but the best thing that you can do to stop flaming is to report flames when you see them.

 

[flamingonhot]

Jeesh, everytime I read these...I keep thinking they're talking about me .

Actually, this forum is one of the very few that there isn't much of that..and you get some pretty good info on here. The only difference I see..is that there's less room for the inexperienced. When I first joined; I was suprised to see all the long replies, etc. and all the good info that was usually given. A few members here are very knowleadgable, and overall..most people on here know their stuff.

The only "flaming" I could really see, is when a member doesn't intentionally "yell", but makes another feel less important in some way..or just uncomfortable. Usually, if I see a thread I might get into an argument over, etc. I just stay clear of it at all costs. Arguing with people over fish for 4 hours, and getting my day ruined by some random person on a FORUM is just not for me anymore.
But, other than that..there really is no flaming that i've seen.

 

[vancouver]

LOL what an interesting topic..