Whoa, whoa, guys, I'm brand new here, no need to get all dramatic! I'M certainly not gonna judge you. So DPs work for some people but are a bit risky for beginners: this is good information for me to have. I'm probably going to go with the betta option. That's actually what I was thinking before I posted on here; I was just looking for some more input from some more serious hobbyists.
And I have corys already, so if they're a bad choice for beginners, they clearly haven't been told. They haven't been told to have tea parties, either, if for no other reason than that PETA would assassinate me for that.