Crazy Stories Thread

[OliveFish05]

I figured a thread for crazy stories would be fun! Everyone is welcome to share crazy, funny, ridiculous, or out of the ordinary stories.


Ok so one year we got a 13 foot Christmas tree. It was CRAZY big, and we didn’t realize just how insanely large it was until it was in the house. We set it up, and within 2 weeks we were having issues with it wobbling whenever someone bumped it. My dad had to water the tree one day, so he crawled under the branches with a pitcher of water. For some reason he decided the tree needed to be moved a few inches back into the corner. He grabbed the corner of the cardboard the tree stand was resting on, and slid it carefully. My sister saw what he was doing and went to tell my mom. We could hear my sister say “dad is trying to move the tree” and my mom reply “tell him it’s going to fall over and not to mess with it” right as the tree started tipping, ever so slowly. I was sitting on the couch (in the same room as the tree) and yelled to my dad that the tree was tipping. He jumped back and the tree fell right over!!! Big surprise lol. I was the only person who had any ornaments break. This year we decided to buy a fake one haha. Nine feet is good enough for us!

 

[Rocky998]

Crazy stories? I can top it for now I bet...

So, most of you guys probably wont believe me, which is fine... I mean normal people dont see this... So I was really young, probably around 3 years old (yes I can remember things from then, some vague but this I remember like it was yesterday)... So, we were living in WA state at the time and we had this house that had a nice size back yard with a hill... We also had a deck which was accessible by using stairs but under the deck was a nice size (not a crevis but probably a but smaller than a small bedroom) and I would go under there looking for things like bugs... So one day I went under and then brought some interesting leaves to a table we had apx 20ft away from the deck on a concrete patio... I was surprised to hear a stomping noise behind me so I slowly tirned around and saw what I knew to be impossible... It was a spider... A HUGE spider... You're probably like: "oh, like a tarantula?" NO! This thing was like a military mutant... Some people have told me that because I was small at that age things looked bigger... But at 20ft away and I'm at an eye contact with its eyes above me? Yeah right... I could see its individual fangs and see 4 seperate eyes... It's hairs were a sand color and its eyes reflected me with a black glare... All I thought was: "Ok, if I stay still it'll go away... It has to..." So eventually it did after a like 10 seconds... It went over the fence, so I ran inside and told my mom and she didnt shove me off she took me back outside (I was still very afraid) and we saw nothing... My mom to this day still thinks I saw something... I definitely know I did... Now some believe me and some don't and will be sceptical... But I'm telling you... What I saw was unnatural or mutated... Luckily it didnt seem hungry...

 

[otterblue]

WARNING: This story is gross, inappropriate and scatalogical - feel free to skip.


So, one early morning about 6 years ago I was smoking a cigarette in the woods near the school (I'm a teacher). I suddenly had the sensation that I had to use the restroom - but, it was that kind where it was like: "I have to use the restroom NOW." This was problematic because at that time I was on a medication that gave me diarrhea.

So I start slowly and carefully ambling towards the school, cautious not to make any sudden movements. The school looks farther and farther away. I pause before entering the building to concentrate because I don't think I'll make it. I use a side door that opens into a kindergarten classroom and lo and behold, our speech therapist is there and tries to stop me to chat me up. I walk by her like a constipated zombie.

I finally get in the kindergarten bathroom, which is like a bathroom from Munchkinland where everything, including the toilet, is tiny. I unbuckle me belt and, due to my excitment of actually making it all the way there, spray the wall and toilet with a brown finish.

Have you ever tried to clean up something with those little brown paper towels from elementary school? It's not possible. I spent the next half hour cleaning walls, toilet, myself, pants and socks -laughing maniacally for some reason.

When I finally opened the door I see, 10 feet away, the speech therapist sitting there with a parent.

 

[OliveFish05]

Crazy stories? I can top it for now I bet...

So, most of you guys probably wont believe me, which is fine... I mean normal people dont see this... So I was really young, probably around 3 years old (yes I can remember things from then, some vague but this I remember like it was yesterday)... So, we were living in WA state at the time and we had this house that had a nice size back yard with a hill... We also had a deck which was accessible by using stairs but under the deck was a nice size (not a crevis but probably a but smaller than a small bedroom) and I would go under there looking for things like bugs... So one day I went under and then brought some interesting leaves to a table we had apx 20ft away from the deck on a concrete patio... I was surprised to hear a stomping noise behind me so I slowly tirned around and saw what I knew to be impossible... It was a spider... A HUGE spider... You're probably like: "oh, like a tarantula?" NO! This thing was like a military mutant... Some people have told me that because I was small at that age things looked bigger... But at 20ft away and I'm at an eye contact with its eyes above me? Yeah right... I could see its individual fangs and see 4 seperate eyes... It's hairs were a sand color and its eyes reflected me with a black glare... All I thought was: "Ok, if I stay still it'll go away... It has to..." So eventually it did after a like 10 seconds... It went over the fence, so I ran inside and told my mom and she didnt shove me off she took me back outside (I was still very afraid) and we saw nothing... My mom to this day still thinks I saw something... I definitely know I did... Now some believe me and some don't and will be sceptical... But I'm telling you... What I saw was unnatural or mutated... Luckily it didnt seem hungry...

Geeeeeeeez that’s terrifying!!!

 

[OliveFish05]

WARNING: This story is gross, inappropriate and scatalogical - feel free to skip.


So, one early morning about 6 years ago I was smoking a cigarette in the woods near the school (I'm a teacher). I suddenly had the sensation that I had to use the restroom - but, it was that kind where it was like: "I have to use the restroom NOW." This was problematic because at that time I was on a medication that gave me diarrhea.

So I start slowly and carefully ambling towards the school, cautious not to make any sudden movements. The school looks farther and farther away. I pause before entering the building to concentrate because I don't think I'll make it. I use a side door that opens into a kindergarten classroom and lo and behold, our speech therapist is there and tries to stop me to chat me up. I walk by her like a constipated zombie.

I finally get in the kindergarten bathroom, which is like a bathroom from Munchkinland where everything, including the toilet, is tiny. I unbuckle me belt and, due to my excitment of actually making it all the way there, spray the wall and toilet with a brown finish.

Have you ever tried to clean up something with those little brown paper towels from elementary school? It's not possible. I spent the next half hour cleaning walls, toilet, myself, pants and socks -laughing maniacally for some reason.

When I finally opened the door I see, 10 feet away, the speech therapist sitting there with a parent.

Oh my. That must’ve been embarrassing!

 

[Rocky998]

WARNING: This story is gross, inappropriate and scatalogical - feel free to skip.


So, one early morning about 6 years ago I was smoking a cigarette in the woods near the school (I'm a teacher). I suddenly had the sensation that I had to use the restroom - but, it was that kind where it was like: "I have to use the restroom NOW." This was problematic because at that time I was on a medication that gave me diarrhea.

So I start slowly and carefully ambling towards the school, cautious not to make any sudden movements. The school looks farther and farther away. I pause before entering the building to concentrate because I don't think I'll make it. I use a side door that opens into a kindergarten classroom and lo and behold, our speech therapist is there and tries to stop me to chat me up. I walk by her like a constipated zombie.

I finally get in the kindergarten bathroom, which is like a bathroom from Munchkinland where everything, including the toilet, is tiny. I unbuckle me belt and, due to my excitment of actually making it all the way there, spray the wall and toilet with a brown finish.

Have you ever tried to clean up something with those little brown paper towels from elementary school? It's not possible. I spent the next half hour cleaning walls, toilet, myself, pants and socks -laughing maniacally for some reason.

When I finally opened the door I see, 10 feet away, the speech therapist sitting there with a parent.

Thats funny but also just... Wow I'm so sorry

 

[Rocky998]

Geeeeeeeez that’s terrifying!!!

Yup... Sure was... I never tell people this face to face, cause I think they'll think I'm a psycho...

 

[OliveFish05]

Yup... Sure was... I never tell people this face to face, cause I think they'll think I'm a psycho...

I am sure you saw something, whether it was a mutant spider or not haha.

 

[Rocky998]

I am sure you saw something, whether it was a mutant spider or not haha.

I know it was a spider of some sort... Had 8 legs and 4 eyes

 

[WhistlingBadger]

OK, I have a lot of crazy stories. It isn't because I've lived a great life; it's just because I've been around a lot longer than you youngsters. How about a creepy one?

About ten or fifteen years ago I was out hunting by myself. It had been a hard day, probably covered 15 miles or so through the mountains. I had to cross a creek and climb a mountain to get back to my truck, and it was almost dark. Now, most of our forests around here are pretty open, but along the riparian areas things can get very thick.

You know that magic time of day when it's almost but not quite dark, when you almost but not quite want to turn on your flashlight? It was that time. Creeping through the willow jungle along the creek, I went to take a step over a big log and pulled up short. It wasn't a log. It was a deer. A dead one. With a broken neck and one bite out of her hind quarter. Marks on the ground showed that she had been drug to her current location. I had the sense not to touch her, but I'm sure she was still warm.

So there I was, within two feet of an extremely fresh mountain lion kill, my only weapons a longbow which was completely useless in the jungle, and a hunting knife. (This was before I discovered bear spray) Knowing there was a lion somewhere within a few feet, but having no idea where, made my neck hairs stand up and dance; I still get a bit of a chill thinking about it years later. So, I pulled my knife, grabbed a broadhead arrow in the other hand--I'm not sure exactly what I thought I was going to do with that, but no better idea occurred to me at the time --and started backing up, making lots and lots of noise, trying to look big. Two good things about mountain lions: 1. They're pure ambush hunters; they'll take down a bull elk if they can get the drop on it, but they don't like face-to-face confrontations, even with puny creatures such as myself. 2. They're usually way too smart to mess with people, at least around here.

Good thing, too. This one had me dead to rights. You know what's even creepier than seeing a predator in the woods? Knowing one is there, and never seeing it.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Crazy stories? I can top it for now I bet...

So, most of you guys probably wont believe me, which is fine... I mean normal people dont see this... So I was really young, probably around 3 years old (yes I can remember things from then, some vague but this I remember like it was yesterday)... So, we were living in WA state at the time and we had this house that had a nice size back yard with a hill... We also had a deck which was accessible by using stairs but under the deck was a nice size (not a crevis but probably a but smaller than a small bedroom) and I would go under there looking for things like bugs... So one day I went under and then brought some interesting leaves to a table we had apx 20ft away from the deck on a concrete patio... I was surprised to hear a stomping noise behind me so I slowly tirned around and saw what I knew to be impossible... It was a spider... A HUGE spider... You're probably like: "oh, like a tarantula?" NO! This thing was like a military mutant... Some people have told me that because I was small at that age things looked bigger... But at 20ft away and I'm at an eye contact with its eyes above me? Yeah right... I could see its individual fangs and see 4 seperate eyes... It's hairs were a sand color and its eyes reflected me with a black glare... All I thought was: "Ok, if I stay still it'll go away... It has to..." So eventually it did after a like 10 seconds... It went over the fence, so I ran inside and told my mom and she didnt shove me off she took me back outside (I was still very afraid) and we saw nothing... My mom to this day still thinks I saw something... I definitely know I did... Now some believe me and some don't and will be sceptical... But I'm telling you... What I saw was unnatural or mutated... Luckily it didnt seem hungry...

There's never a hobbit gardener around when you need one.

 

[otterblue]

I volunteered one summer at the Columbus Zoo, which was a mistake because volunteer evidently means "pick up used diapers in the parking lot". Anyhow, once I finished I was walking around the zoo (picking up more trash). The zoo had just opened and no visitors were there yet.

As I was walking, my hairs on my arm stood up and I had the feeling of being watched. I looked twenty feet ahead and a tiger was staring straight at me, crouching behind a bush in pounce mode. Despite it being in it's cage and despite going on a safari in Tanzania and seeing wild lions, this was my most thrilling encounter with a predator. Felt like a caveman.

 

[Fishmanic]

Crazy stories? I can top it for now I bet...

So, most of you guys probably wont believe me, which is fine... I mean normal people dont see this... So I was really young, probably around 3 years old (yes I can remember things from then, some vague but this I remember like it was yesterday)... So, we were living in WA state at the time and we had this house that had a nice size back yard with a hill... We also had a deck which was accessible by using stairs but under the deck was a nice size (not a crevis but probably a but smaller than a small bedroom) and I would go under there looking for things like bugs... So one day I went under and then brought some interesting leaves to a table we had apx 20ft away from the deck on a concrete patio... I was surprised to hear a stomping noise behind me so I slowly tirned around and saw what I knew to be impossible... It was a spider... A HUGE spider... You're probably like: "oh, like a tarantula?" NO! This thing was like a military mutant... Some people have told me that because I was small at that age things looked bigger... But at 20ft away and I'm at an eye contact with its eyes above me? Yeah right... I could see its individual fangs and see 4 seperate eyes... It's hairs were a sand color and its eyes reflected me with a black glare... All I thought was: "Ok, if I stay still it'll go away... It has to..." So eventually it did after a like 10 seconds... It went over the fence, so I ran inside and told my mom and she didnt shove me off she took me back outside (I was still very afraid) and we saw nothing... My mom to this day still thinks I saw something... I definitely know I did... Now some believe me and some don't and will be sceptical... But I'm telling you... What I saw was unnatural or mutated... Luckily it didnt seem hungry...

Did it look like this?

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

Where to start…A horror story

Just this summer I went to a kind of military/wilderness/peaceful camp. It’s out I the middle of Colorado. In the beginning, you sign papers saying that if you get hurt you will not sue the camp, blah blah blah. It’s a long camp. 14 days. Sleepover in tents. Anyway, on the 11th-day counselors wake you up at an undignified time, and pull you out of the tent. They drop you and a few other people off in the woods. The point is to be uncomfortable, disoriented, scared, and tired. They only drop you off on roads leading back to the camp. But you need to collect things. You are given 2 flashlights for 4 people. An adult is there but told not to speak. Anyway, things you need to collect include pinecones, a specific kind of plant, and much more. Realistically, you should be done in half an hour. But it was so dark, and we had dim flashlights. I learned well from my horror movies watching and split with my friend (let's call him M) to look for a specific kind of rock. Like a scavenger hunt. Well, I have a fear of the dark uknown. While I was panicking, my friend had his head staight. We walked up the road, found the rock, and started walking back, yelling for my other friends and adults. They didn't answer. We ran for what felt like 5 minutes. They didn't answer. We ran the other way. They weren't there. We were cussing the night out like no tomorrow! The adult and 2 teens were not there. We started walking in the way we thought was camp. We heard russling in the trees. Now, at this time, I was practically s***ing myself! I screamed at the whatever it was, and it kept walking towards us. It sounded like a cyote. I hate those things (they killed my dog ). I yelled at it and threw rocks. Once it went away, I was dying of fear. I was crying and wailing, overreacting. But phobias are no joke. Long story short, we went the wrong way, walked for over an hour, and a pickup truck picked us up. Our comrads were back at camp. That was probably the worst thing I've ever felt. Being alone with only my friendout in the dark with no adult is scary!

I'll do another one tomorrow.

 

[Fishmanic]

I was in my bedroom when I heard the loud sound of glass shattering. Then another minute passed and I heard more shattering and banging sounds. That’s when I went into the kitchen and looked out the small window in the door and saw the hawk banging around the walls and windows of the porch trying to get out. I went out onto the porch and then I coaxed it to fly out with a stick as I opened the third window. Glass was everywhere on the porch floor. Luckily there was no blood. I believe it was a Northern Goshawk. It had a very large wingspan.

A year earlier I saw a goshawk on top of my bird feeder. It was about 3 feet away from my office window so I had a great view. I found a dead small bird on the ground under the feeder. It may have been the same goshawk that flew through the porch window a year later since we usually don’t see birds of prey in my suburban neighborhood.