In reality they wouldn't know either, this is why it's best to buy a group of labs, both because they get along best in a group and because me and you and your LFS can't sex them at that young age - there is no physical difference unless you vent them, and even venting is very tricky when they're so small. If you replace the dead one, replace it with a bunch, but don't get any until you remove the tetra's - with a group they won't fair as well.