Tell me your last minute "uh oh, people are coming and house is a mess!" cleaning routine tips!

[Back in the fold]

@AdoraBelle Dearheart WHAAAAT ! Ladies don’t do that ! ? ! ? The female of the species produces the foulest flatulence in all the known kingdoms ! You just don’t hear it is all . They emanate their foul wind and leave before anybody knows what hit them .

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

@AdoraBelle Dearheart WHAAAAT ! Ladies don’t do that ! ? ! ? The female of the species produces the foulest flatulence in all the known kingdoms ! You just don’t hear it is all . They emanate their foul wind and leave before anybody knows what hit them .

You, sir, are a scoundrel, a cad, a ruffian! How very dare you impune and sully my good reputation as a spinster of this parish? Dishonesty is not in my nature, and you are certainly no gentleman to be speaking in this way to a lady of my station!

Besides, we all know that ladies smell of roses or lavender.

Occasionally with a hint of mothballs. But that's all.

I say good day to you!

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

I just blame the dog

 

[Back in the fold]

You, sir, are a scoundrel, a cad, a ruffian! How very dare you impune and sully my good reputation as a spinster of this parish? Dishonesty is not in my nature, and you are certainly no gentleman to be speaking in this way to a lady of my station!

Besides, we all know that ladies smell of roses or lavender.

Occasionally with a hint of mothballs. But that's all.

I say good day to you!

A scoundrel ? Thank you love . I shall fly the Scoundrel Flag proudly .

 

[Herpin Man]

My wife once thought it would be a good idea to hide the dirty dishes in the oven.
Guess how I discovered that she had done this.

 

[Magnum Man]

My wife's best friend would get up and walk out of the room, when she passed gas, when she was dating, her now husband... I wonder how long it took her, before she started farting in front of her man???

We must be an old married couple my wife farts, & snores, like an old sailor... but I still treat her like a lady...

 

[AdoraBelle Dearheart]

A scoundrel ? Thank you love . I shall fly the Scoundrel Flag proudly .

My wife once thought it would be a good idea to hide the dirty dishes in the oven.
Guess how I discovered that she had done this.

My wife's best friend would get up and walk out of the room, when she passed gas, when she was dating, her now husband... I wonder how long it took her, before she started farting in front of her man???

We must be an old married couple my wife farts, & snores, like an old sailor... but I still treat her like a lady...

@Back in the fold Do you see? Do you see what you have done now, you rapscallion?

This wonderful thread for Good Housekeeping tips, how to pass the White Cotton Glove Above the Doorframes test, etc, has now become a discussion about feminine flatulence.

Well. I never. I am beyond words.

 

[Back in the fold]

@AdoraBelle Dearheart I’m glad I could elevate the conversation . While we are on this subject it might interest you to know that a fart can be saved in a tightly sealed glass jar for up to one month . This can then be used as a weapon or merely a source of amusement . Now for the shocker . It was a female who told me this .

 

[Magnum Man]

FIL used to save old snuff cans, & write on them "old fart"... you would never know if he farted in it, or if he would put a piece of mirror inside, so you would see your reflection... he always made up little gags like that... since we didn't find some of them for years, I challenge the "for up to a month" statement

 

[Back in the fold]

FIL used to save old snuff cans, & write on them "old fart"... you would never know if he farted in it, or if he would put a piece of mirror inside, so you would see your reflection... he always made up little gags like that... since we didn't find some of them for years, I challenge the "for up to a month" statement

Okay , send me your address and I’ll send you a jar .

 

[Magnum Man]

BTW... I meant, some years later still smelled

 

[sharkweek178]

I usually buy some time by telling them to come back with a warrant.