Really agree with what you are saying and that the important thing in the early stages of owning the fish is matching your stores source and buying healthy fish but the hardness factor is a longer term thing. Its the long term thing to plan when you do buy fish even from reputable stores and healthy looking they can cause diseases, parasites etc in your tank. In reality the number of fish that end up in well mainained disease free tanks is pretty small but once you are past those hurdles keeping fish that matches your water just makes things a bit easier on you. Which is where sites like Seriously Fish are really useful
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I'm still on the fence as to how we approach fish we see in local stores though, as an example a store over the road from me has a group of Paskai Rainbows which need softer water than our tap water but I know our whole area is hard so who ever takes them is going to have the same issue, so why shouldnt I buy them and raise them to the best of my ability and dedication? Equally if people come to the forum unaware of hardness I dont like telling them to rehome on this basis alone as odds are if you spend time on internet forums, researching etc you are going to be looking after them better than the average keeper. Eg do the fish live a few weeks/months in a new or unmaintained tank with someone else or a few years with a member of this forum who has on paper incompatible water qualities, still the best outcome would be for us all to keep fish matched exactly to our tap water so they have the best chance of living out their life expectancy but is that realistic?
Wills