Sickness Jokes

[Ace Of Spades]

Here's mine

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

If it is dry - add moist; if it is moisten - add dryness. Congratulations, now you are a dermatologist.

Any more jokes ABOUT BEING SICK?

 

[the_lock_man]

The cardiologist was in the mechanics waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his care when another mechanic shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?'

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on another car. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,

'So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take out the valves, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I'm finished, it works just like new. So how come I make £14 grand a year and you get the really big bucks (£1.5 million) when you and I are doing basically the same work?'

The cardiologist paused, smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic,

"Try doing it with the engine running."

 

[TwoTankAmin]

A local plumber wakes up one night feeling awful. he is sweating, has chills and an awful headache. So he calls his doctor who being awakened in the middle of the night and is upset about it an tells the the plumber, "Take two aspirins and call my office in the morning." and then hangs up on the plumber.

A few weeks later the doctor is hosting a large dinner party at his home and to his dismay, one of the toilets in the house backs up and begins to overflow. The doctor, not wanting his guests to suffer, immediately calls the plumber who is awakened by the phone call. The frantic doctor explains the problem and asks the plumber what to do. The plumber replies by telling the doctor, "Throw two aspirins in the bowl and call my office in the morning."