crazyforcordoras
CLASH OF CLANS!!!!
There is a song like that were the duck goes to the lemonade stand and keeps asking for grapes... On youtube, look up, "duck song"
Post Your Jokes On Here
- Thread starter Judgejudy
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ZephyrStarPlaties
Fish Crazy
crazyforcordoras
CLASH OF CLANS!!!!
Haha, i played the 10 hour version to annoy my friend.
I tried to call the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large woolly goat. I think I accidentally called Dial-A-Llama.
I once worked in a pathology lab, but I was asked to leave after one of my reports gave the cause of death as "Autopsy".
(courtesy of Milton Jones)
I once worked in a pathology lab, but I was asked to leave after one of my reports gave the cause of death as "Autopsy".
(courtesy of Milton Jones)
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
FishFanatic04
I'm in Planted School.
I liked that one.
I love the food you get at fairgrounds - toffee apples, candyfloss, boil-in-the-bag goldfish......
Sfish777
New Member
Yo momma's so stupid she invented this joke!!!!!!! 
(not intended to hurt anybody)
(not intended to hurt anybody)
BlueDragon
Fish Crazy
Hey, did anyone watch those programs last night on BBC four? Called 'Old jews telling lokes'? It was actaully quite funny, I enjoyed it : )
There were some good jokes being told but unfortuneatly there's not many I could repeat here : /
One clean one (I hope) was:
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew are on death row. They are each asked what they would like for their last meal.
The Italian is asked first and replies "Oh, a lovely bowl of pasta would be nice".
He's made the pasta, he eats it and is shot.
The Frenchman is asked what he'd like for his last meal and he says "A nice big, juicy filet mignon"
He's made this, he eats it and is shot.
The Jew is asked the same question. "Strawberries" he answers.
"Strawberries? But we don't have strawberries, they're out of season!"
The Jew replies "Oh, that's OK, I'll wait".
I can't remember the exact joke lines for this one, but I thought it was good enough to post anyway...
A man (a Jew in the oringinal joke, but a man in this one to avoid any offence) walks into a doctor's room.
"what's the prolem then, sir?"
"Well" the man said, "I've came to ask for help because I can't seem to stop passing gas. I was sitting down to dinner with my Wife the other night and I just couldn't stop. And they smell very bad, you see. But they're always silent so I got away with it. But yesterday I was at a party with my Wife and, again, I couldn't stop. The smell was very bad but they were silent."
The doctor nodded.
"My Wife must know it's me by now, doctor. What can you do for me?"
"Well", the doctor said. "First I'm sending you to a hearing specialist".
That's the only clean ones I can remember for now : )
There were some good jokes being told but unfortuneatly there's not many I could repeat here : /
One clean one (I hope) was:
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew are on death row. They are each asked what they would like for their last meal.
The Italian is asked first and replies "Oh, a lovely bowl of pasta would be nice".
He's made the pasta, he eats it and is shot.
The Frenchman is asked what he'd like for his last meal and he says "A nice big, juicy filet mignon"
He's made this, he eats it and is shot.
The Jew is asked the same question. "Strawberries" he answers.
"Strawberries? But we don't have strawberries, they're out of season!"
The Jew replies "Oh, that's OK, I'll wait".
I can't remember the exact joke lines for this one, but I thought it was good enough to post anyway...
A man (a Jew in the oringinal joke, but a man in this one to avoid any offence) walks into a doctor's room.
"what's the prolem then, sir?"
"Well" the man said, "I've came to ask for help because I can't seem to stop passing gas. I was sitting down to dinner with my Wife the other night and I just couldn't stop. And they smell very bad, you see. But they're always silent so I got away with it. But yesterday I was at a party with my Wife and, again, I couldn't stop. The smell was very bad but they were silent."
The doctor nodded.
"My Wife must know it's me by now, doctor. What can you do for me?"
"Well", the doctor said. "First I'm sending you to a hearing specialist".
That's the only clean ones I can remember for now : )
hensonc4098
Fish Herder
Not really a joke, I know, but still cracked me up 
MsKhaeli
New Member
Today I heard that Susan Boyle is going to release her book next week..... It's called 50 Shaves a Day
Someone texted me that joke today lol
Someone texted me that joke today lol
BlueDragon
Fish Crazy
A man is talking to his friend about the lovely holiday he and his wife had just had. He got on to the great resturant they'd visited.
"Oh, it was really nice", said the man. "the food was great, the service was friendly, the atmosphere was warm and cosy, it was a lovely place"
"What was it called?" his friend asked.
"What?"
"what was the resturant called?" he asked again. "I think I'd like to go there myself sometime".
"Oh. Well, er... it was called, er..." but he just couldn't remember. "Oh, what was it called?", he asked himself.
"Wait a minuet now" he said. "what do you call that flower? It smells nice, has thorns"
"You mean a Rose?" asked his friend.
"Yeah, that was it" the man said.
"Rose!" he shouted over. "Rose, what was the name of that resturant?"
"Oh, it was really nice", said the man. "the food was great, the service was friendly, the atmosphere was warm and cosy, it was a lovely place"
"What was it called?" his friend asked.
"What?"
"what was the resturant called?" he asked again. "I think I'd like to go there myself sometime".
"Oh. Well, er... it was called, er..." but he just couldn't remember. "Oh, what was it called?", he asked himself.
"Wait a minuet now" he said. "what do you call that flower? It smells nice, has thorns"
"You mean a Rose?" asked his friend.
"Yeah, that was it" the man said.
"Rose!" he shouted over. "Rose, what was the name of that resturant?"
garyspence84
Fish Addict
Brilliant!!!!!Today I heard that Susan Boyle is going to release her book next week..... It's called 50 Shaves a Day
Someone texted me that joke today lol
brian1
Fish Crazy
If quiz's are quizzical then what are tests?...........
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