OK, so I'll have some time to think after I start the cycling; but I'm going to go with the 20 gallon. 23.75" x 12.625" x 19.75".
Based on the advice, I'll avoid Betta/GBR combo, so how about GBR and Gourami (maybe a dwarf one)?
I keep finding mixed messages as to how many of GBR and Gourami I should keep; I don't want babies, so just Males...just 1 of each? 2 of each? 1 of one and 2 of another? Some other number? Or similar to Betta/GBR they shouldn't go together?
Thinking rest of tank, I still would want some Kuhli Loaches. Would any Cherry barbs or other barbs work to finish out the tank with a school? I may just end up getting some Danios?
It is your decision, and I realize various factors may play into it, but if you can, the 29g really will make a big difference you will not regret.
Moving on to your questions...neither tank is large enough for more than one male dwarf cichlid. A bonded pair (male/female) could work. But not more than one male.
Gourami and ciichlids is not a good mix unless the tank is quite large. These two groups of fish are alike in males being territorial, and in this tank, that means the male will consider the tank "his space."
Re gourami, dwarf gourami is a real risk for disease (the iridovirus which is not treatable) unless you obtain the fish direct from a reliable breeder. The Honey Gourami is similar and a safer choice. You could have a trio (one male, two female) in either the 20g or 29g. The latter will obviously give you more options for other fish.
The 20g is not large enough for danios. These are active fish, like the barbs (the cherry is one exception, sort of) and need more swimming space. Kuhlii loaches in a group of five or six will be OK, you need sand and chunks of wood.