My hubby thinks I'm crazy, is he right?

[FriendlyGeek]

I will start by saying this post is tongue in cheek - myself and my hubby joke about these things because it's how we do things, so if I mention arguments, disagreements etc, it's not serious!!

So I have some MH issues - OCD, anxiety and possibly ADHD (Oh I must be a joy to live with ) This also extends into fishkeeping and here is the "disagreement" ........... each time something changes in the tank - new fish, decor changes, anything really; I keep a list of dates and details. So new fish added would be listed as species, how many, date added. Now to me this makes sense because we can keep track of changes if we get any problems with the tank after addding new fish for example, but I also like to know when new fish have been added because that allows you to check that they are lving for as long as they should be.

Hubby on the other hand thinks I'm bonkers so we were discussing it last night and I'm sure that it's me who is right and of course he thinks he is right LOL

I said I would settle it by asking the experts soooooo......opinions please (and please say if you think I'm wrong - I can take it )

 

[Bruce Leyland-Jones]

Your hubby is, of course, quite correct.
But remember, it is our madness that keeps us sane.

I think you'll find that most good fishkeepers retain all of that info you studiously record, but many don't actually write it down anywhere and then, when they need the info, they end up guessing.
I keep a Journal in here for that exact purpose.

For example, if something goes amiss in your tank, you'll spot it very quickly and will probably be better able to pinpoint possible causes.

So, as long as you don't let your disability become a handicap, you'll be fine.

Oh...and you and your hubby are BOTH right.

 

[vanalisa]

I'm not an expert...and it certainly sounds like a good idea to keep track of stocking, tank elements, water changes, etc.,
but how much time do you spend with the "checking" and "counting?"
If these obsessions cause you to engage in compulsive behaviors that interfere with your quality of life you may want to research OCD to find out what you can do for treatment. Perhaps you are spending more time with the fishkeeping than your husband?
If your relationship is tended to then I suggest that your husband should be grateful and let you balance the checkbook!

 

[xxBarneyxx]

I have mentioned on here before that I still have books going back to the first tanks I kept 20+ years ago. It is useful to keep track of current tanks as if you have an issue you have a record of when you did things. It is also useful to look back on later as that knowledge you gained can be lost otherwise.

A recent example for me is that I set up a new tank with ADA amazonia aquasoil (something I haven't done for a long time). Had massive amounts of hair algae and was concerned about it. When I looked through a previous tank journal that used the same substrate I remembered that I had the same issue before and could see how long it took to sort itself out that time.

All that being said do make sure you are taking care of yourself too. I have pretty bad anxiety and depression and my oldest son has OCD, ASD, ADHD and anxieties so I know how easy it can be for something to slip from "fun activity" to "compulsion".

I said how useful it was above but it is in no way "essential". Your tank will run just fine without taking notes at all. If you in anyway start feeling it move into what we call in our house, "the compulsion zone" then maybe put it away. Also maybe try and keep it brief and only document what is needed. Add a piece of decor, not important. Add some fish, yeah that is useful.

Sorry I kind of feel like I'm mansplaining and I hate that. I just know how easy it is for something like this to slip and don't want you to lose something fun and have it turn into a source of anxiety and compulsions.

 

[Beastije]

Let me assure you you are completely sane. I am member of other (local) portal, that is way more focused on keeping "journal" for each of your fishtank other than a forum.
In there, you can fill in EVERY information, from dimensions, equipement, your plans with the tank,... The journal has a fish list and plant list that are linked to the websites wiki, where you see the fish/plant requirements in water params, temperature, breeding behavior,.... You can also list if you are looking for more fish/plants from your list, or if you are offering them for exchange/to give away
It allows you to post pictures, videos and journal entries, each with a time stamp. It even has a place for tracking expenses (with dates), and water measurements, which it turns into a graph with longterm visibility.

It gives fish keeping a new dimension for me, not just living in the moment of what is happening, but I can also read my journal entry from 6 years ago to see how the danio I moved at that time reacted, how happy I was with this fish, what issues it had, how long I had them,... And can decide based on it if I want them again perhaps?

It can also point out to issues you have because of something, and it saves time in forum asking the basic questions all the time - everyone else can simply read it in the aquarium "journal" page.

Too bad for you it is not in english But I bet there are other websites like this elsewhere, though. This one on this page rivals with information on behavior, breeding and parameters with seriouslyfish, as it is also community updated, but carefully reviewed.

So dont worry, I completely get you, and it is in no way obsedant

 

[Essjay]

I have a notebook. I write in it every fish I buy - species, number, date, where from - and every plant. I don't bother with rocks/wood etc. If the fish spawn I note the day the eggs were laid, the date they hatched, the date they became free swimming.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

You're in good company here my dear

 

[NannaLou]

I’m with the others, a really good idea and will become a very useful source of information, but as mentioned in post #3 make sure you keep it within sensible parameters for you and don’t let it become a “worry”

 

[FriendlyGeek]

Wow thank you so much for all those replies!! So I guess the general idea is that we are both right.......ugh, I'll have to tell him that now and I'll never hear the end of it LOL

Just to address some of the other points, I am officially diagnosed with OCD and anxiety so I understand that if this becomes obsessive, I need to look at it more carefully. But at the moment, it's just something that I do because it helps, for me it is almost like therapy in itself and certainly isn't a chore. Looking after the tank calms me so as I say, it is like therapy for me. Like some of you have said, it is also useful to look back on over time because you can pinpoint things that you may not necessarily remember.

My hubby is fantastic - this is why we joke about these things because if he took me seriously all the time he would never be ble to live with me. I make lists for all sorts of things which he finds quite funny, but he understands my "issues" and doesn't make a huge deal out of it, we just have these fun discussions about things, generally ending with him rolling his eyes and saying "yes dear"

 

[NannaLou]

just have these fun discussions about things, generally ending with him rolling his eyes and saying "yes dear"

I‘ve told both my sons that the secret to a happy life is the answer, “yes dear”…

 

[FriendlyGeek]

I‘ve told both my sons that the secret to a happy life is the answer, “yes dear”…

LOL absolutely!!

 

[AbbeysDad]

But remember, it is our madness that keeps us sane.

If we weren't a bit crazy at times, we'd all be madly insane!!!

I wish I had the discipline to better document aquarium/fish related things. Especially now as my memory is just not as sharp as it used to be...it's always amazed me how some important things get lost in memory while there's so much useless junk you never forget! And then there's the dreams. For many years after high school I had [bad] dreams of trying to remember my gym locker combination or finding my next class! (I guess high school was traumatic for me! - lol)

Anyway, keeping records is a good thing, but if your archives go back years it's likely their value diminishes...and if your obsession to document interferes with other important duties, perhaps it's excessive and needs to be dialed back a bit. Otherwise, it's a very good thing and KUDOS for thorough fishkeeping.

 

[Rocky998]

Wow thank you so much for all those replies!! So I guess the general idea is that we are both right.......ugh, I'll have to tell him that now and I'll never hear the end of it LOL

Just to address some of the other points, I am officially diagnosed with OCD and anxiety so I understand that if this becomes obsessive, I need to look at it more carefully. But at the moment, it's just something that I do because it helps, for me it is almost like therapy in itself and certainly isn't a chore. Looking after the tank calms me so as I say, it is like therapy for me. Like some of you have said, it is also useful to look back on over time because you can pinpoint things that you may not necessarily remember.

My hubby is fantastic - this is why we joke about these things because if he took me seriously all the time he would never be ble to live with me. I make lists for all sorts of things which he finds quite funny, but he understands my "issues" and doesn't make a huge deal out of it, we just have these fun discussions about things, generally ending with him rolling his eyes and saying "yes dear"

Just say that most thought you were mostly right! I also keep a journal!

 

[Colin_T]

My hubby thinks I'm crazy, is he right?

Nobody should answer that, it's a trick question and regardless of how us guys answer it, we are doomed

 

[xxBarneyxx]

it's always amazed me how some important things get lost in memory while there's so much useless junk you never forget!

Yep. Having come back into the hobby after a long time away, to begin with there was a lot of "I know I should do things this way but I don't remember why". Its slowly come back to me but still getting the odd "oh yeah, I remember that now" moment.