My Boyfriend Bought Me A New Tank For My 19th Birthday!

[minxfishy]

And Im in agreement with Amunet. Its their house/home, they pay the bills/mortgage/rent whatever, whatever age you maybe, you live under their roof, therefore you do as your told. If you dont like it, leave.

If a parent has that attitude, then that shouldn't have kids. After all, if you bringing a kid into your home, then you are also making it their home.

So your telling me Im a bad parent As I have 3 kids, 17, 14 and 4 and they were bought up to respect their elders, their parents and those in authority, in return they receive respect back. Maybe its a case of how you were raised and therefore how you raise your kids. Once they are grown adults and leave home, pay their own way in the world, then they are free to do as they like without judgement from me, as I expect from my parents, until such time, the rules of my house apply and yes they are well aware, if they dont like it, they are free to change their circumstances.

Im sick and tired of the kids who frequent this board, complaining non stop about how their parents wont let them have this that and the other, stamping their feet like petulent toddlers, if thats how they react on the internet, I expect its how they behave in life. Whilst Im aware we dont live in the 40's, its a shame times have changed to the state they are, where kids, teenagers, young adults feel that the world owes them a living. Its also sad to see parents who feel they must comply to their kids wishes continually, it only serves to raise spoilt, selfish individuals who continue to behave like this their entire lives and raise another generation of little brats who dont know or understand the values of decent people and do nothing back take take take, without giving a thing back to society.

Rant over. Dont call (or infer) me a bad parent again, I do take it personally.

 

[Curiosity101]

I'm surprised a mod didn't delete that post actually...however much I disagree with your stand point on 'their house, their rules, end of story'. (I believe if they want me to act like an adult I would like to be treated like an adult, and be given fair just reasons for their rulings. )

I do think it was out of order implying/inferring anyone was a bad parent. Sorry I, in a way, caused it minxfishy.

 

[BecciMac1987]

And Im in agreement with Amunet. Its their house/home, they pay the bills/mortgage/rent whatever, whatever age you maybe, you live under their roof, therefore you do as your told. If you dont like it, leave.

If a parent has that attitude, then that shouldn't have kids. After all, if you bringing a kid into your home, then you are also making it their home.

So your telling me Im a bad parent As I have 3 kids, 17, 14 and 4 and they were bought up to respect their elders, their parents and those in authority, in return they receive respect back. Maybe its a case of how you were raised and therefore how you raise your kids. Once they are grown adults and leave home, pay their own way in the world, then they are free to do as they like without judgement from me, as I expect from my parents, until such time, the rules of my house apply and yes they are well aware, if they dont like it, they are free to change their circumstances.

Im sick and tired of the kids who frequent this board, complaining non stop about how their parents wont let them have this that and the other, stamping their feet like petulent toddlers, if thats how they react on the internet, I expect its how they behave in life. Whilst Im aware we dont live in the 40's, its a shame times have changed to the state they are, where kids, teenagers, young adults feel that the world owes them a living. Its also sad to see parents who feel they must comply to their kids wishes continually, it only serves to raise spoilt, selfish individuals who continue to behave like this their entire lives and raise another generation of little brats who dont know or understand the values of decent people and do nothing back take take take, without giving a thing back to society.

Rant over. Dont call (or infer) me a bad parent again, I do take it personally.

Seconded. Im a young 22 year old mother of two. They live by my rules, and will do until they are teenagers. I moved out into rented at 16, bought first house at 18. Simple reason as to why, mum wouldn't let my boyfriend stay, so I became independant. End of, her house, her rules. Her other rule was that by 24 we all had to move out, as thats when she believed you stopped living as parents and kids and became adults housesharing. So my eldest sister was out on her ear. And as soon as my two leave school and get a job, they will pay me rent. And if I say I don want smelly football boots in my hallway, they wont be there, and if I dont want mascara on my towels, there wont be!

 

[jimmyringo]

they were bought up to respect their elders, their parents and those in authority, in return they receive respect back. Maybe its a case of how you were raised and therefore how you raise your kids.

I agree.Too many people don't appreciate their parents enough.

And,you'll miss them when they're gone,trust me on that one.

 

[meguro]

To all the demanding parents in this thread, when a disagreement comes up and you spout your "my house my rules" mantra, I really hope the kid/s simply move out. Even more so if they're too young to do anything much for themselves. I hope the guilt is crushing.

 

[superjonboy]

I was brought up to respect my elders, but there being brought up to respect elders and then being brought up too strictly.

In my personal experience the few friends I had with really strict parents who had over the top rules e.t.c went on to become real tearaways.

It becomes a bit much with rules like not letting boyfriends stay over e.t.c. Thats just a big encouragement to go and do things elsewhere.

Maybe we don't know the full extent of this situation.

Do you look after the existing aquarium 100% or are you parents sometimes left to look after it?

 

[Hawkins]

They knew full well he was buying it for me...and they waited till after he bought it to say I can't have it.

I instantly responded with, it's not a problem, I'll pay for all the electricity and whatever we can agree on for water. Thinking, surely they're objecting to the costs (though it's only 28l so would only be around £6 a month). But no, even though it'd be in my room, I'd look after the inhabitants and cover all the costs they said no . And I already have a tank that ISN'T in my room that they have no objections too...

"No, and we don't need a reason, it's our house". So now I'm a bit glum (as is my boyfriend as he feels like he's may aswell not have bought me anything). Just thought I'd have a little moan... lol.

On the brighter side, I'm going to Hull to The Deep on Saturday to look at some rather large fish!

Sorry but they sound like harsh parents to me.

£6 a month for a 28L tank?? my god, i'm surprised my dad hasn't asked me for my contribution towards the electric bill. I have 4 tanks (125L, 35L, 30L, and 28L) all using 3 sockets each in my bedroom

It is a shame about that though, when it is one of your hobbies or interests and they aren't allowing it

enjoy the deep it is good

ps. happy birthday

 

[Curiosity101]

To superjonboy: They do as much or little as they want. I do all the boring stuff such as pruning and water changes. and the gross stuff, like removing dead fish if there ever are any. And they often feed them, but only because they said they wanted to, because my dad enjoys watching them at feeding time.

To hawkins: Thank you very much! I'm getting excited, I asked my boss very very nicely if I could finish early, so my birthday is starting as of......now!

 

[minxfishy]

To all the demanding parents in this thread, when a disagreement comes up and you spout your "my house my rules" mantra, I really hope the kid/s simply move out. Even more so if they're too young to do anything much for themselves. I hope the guilt is crushing.

Says volumes about you.

I was brought up to respect my elders, but there being brought up to respect elders and then being brought up too strictly.

In my personal experience the few friends I had with really strict parents who had over the top rules e.t.c went on to become real tearaways.

It becomes a bit much with rules like not letting boyfriends stay over e.t.c. Thats just a big encouragement to go and do things elsewhere.

Maybe we don't know the full extent of this situation.

Do you look after the existing aquarium 100% or are you parents sometimes left to look after it?

I never said I was strict or had over the top rules, being firm doesnt mean being unfair. If you dont think that allowing a 14 year schoolkid to have their boy/girlfriend over to stay isnt wrong, then something is seriously wrong. Its not encouraging them to go off and do 'it' somewhere else, its called being a responsible parent. I dont condone breaking the law or seeing children (yes children) ruin their lives because basic rules and prinicples were not put into place by their parents.

This is so off topic now its ridiculous, OP, I hope you had a nice birthday regardless of not being able to put up your tank, but it is only a tank at the end of the day, there are worse things that could happen.

 

[BecciMac1987]

It becomes a bit much with rules like not letting boyfriends stay over e.t.c. Thats just a big encouragement to go and do things elsewhere.

Dont be so bloody rediculous, it was more cuz of having younger siblings in the house, so dont jump to conclusions.

 

[three-fingers]

Lot' of harsh parents .

It's fine (though mean ) not to let kids have tanks in their house IMO.

But the "No, and we don't need a reason, it's our house" part always...ticked me off.

I always maintained that I'd do what they want (paint my room a certain colour, certain # of tanks etc.), but protested the no explanation part . So much fun . Only need to on very rare occasions though, my parents are fair it just depends on their moods.

While you should respect your parents decisions, they should also respect you enough to at least explain. Even it's something silly. If I was in your position, I'd probably discuss it with them if you keep getting that attitude.

Surely there's something more to it, they cant be being that unfair as to not explain at all? If they really are like that, then I'd move out lol .

 

[meguro]

Says volumes about you.

Perhaps you should've done some reading up on sentience and independent thought before you brought your children into this world. They're not your slaves, yet they're here by no choice of their own. And you want to tell them how to live on top of that? Nice.

 

[Truck]

Says volumes about you.

Perhaps you should've done some reading up on sentience and independent thought before you brought your children into this world. They're not your slaves, yet they're here by no choice of their own. And you want to tell them how to live on top of that? Nice.

i can see you being one of those that sees there parents as slaves and an ATM.

im with minx fishy on this one! your parents are here to respect you and to help you grow up, guiding you in the right direction, if you think about it your parents have pent £££££ on you bringing you up, with clothes, food, a house etc and you dont even have the decency to respect them back

it makes me sick!!!!

 

[crazychris]

When I was 15 I had a 3ft tank in my bedroom. This is going back to the late 70's. Then I wanted another underneath it so got a double stand made for nowt at the pit! So my dad said I'd to have them downstairs, was worried about the weight.

 

[Aussie_Dog]

Lot' of harsh parents .

It's fine (though mean ) not to let kids have tanks in their house IMO.

But the "No, and we don't need a reason, it's our house" part always...ticked me off.

I always maintained that I'd do what they want (paint my room a certain colour, certain # of tanks etc.), but protested the no explanation part . So much fun . Only need to on very rare occasions though, my parents are fair it just depends on their moods.

While you should respect your parents decisions, they should also respect you enough to at least explain. Even it's something silly. If I was in your position, I'd probably discuss it with them if you keep getting that attitude.

Surely there's something more to it, they cant be being that unfair as to not explain at all? If they really are like that, then I'd move out lol .

haha, that sounds like me in my teens. I've never really had a problem listening to my parents, but I believe that respect has to work both ways: the kids respect the parents, and the parents respect the kids. The parents can tell the kids to do this and do that, but if it's supposed to teach the kids lessons for life, then it's a pretty cruddy lesson if the parent doesn't give the reasonings. "Okay, yeah, I'm doing this thing here, like you told me to, but I'm not quite sure WHY I'm doing this..." If the kid gets an explanation, even if it's elementary ("We all have to pitch in to make this house/family work," or "This will get you in a routine, well-ready to handle the world when you leave"), then it's just that little extra bit of gratitude from the kid that may make them see this "chore" in another light. I have to agree, I've always HATED the "my house, my rules" excuse, because to be honest, it really does offer the impression that the kids are slaves (even if they're not!). All I would want is for them to tell me why this particular job/rule was important, and I would willingly respect it (even if I didn't like it). Parents say this whole thing about teamwork, having to be a family to make family work, then they act like a government and issue out orders and imply you don't need to know why you're doing it, just do it 'cause we say so. There's nothing wrong with telling your kids why their job is important, it's just rather lazy to not do it (and you're never too busy to issue a few sentences).

Eh, you can see I'm just a big ol' supporter to the two-way street of respect. Give it to get it.