My Boyfriend Bought Me A New Tank For My 19th Birthday!

[Curiosity101]

They knew full well he was buying it for me...and they waited till after he bought it to say I can't have it.

I instantly responded with, it's not a problem, I'll pay for all the electricity and whatever we can agree on for water. Thinking, surely they're objecting to the costs (though it's only 28l so would only be around £6 a month). But no, even though it'd be in my room, I'd look after the inhabitants and cover all the costs they said no . And I already have a tank that ISN'T in my room that they have no objections too...

"No, and we don't need a reason, it's our house". So now I'm a bit glum (as is my boyfriend as he feels like he's may aswell not have bought me anything). Just thought I'd have a little moan... lol.

On the brighter side, I'm going to Hull to The Deep on Saturday to look at some rather large fish!

 

[K-Holed]

You're 19 not 9! Some people can be so unreasonable. If they knew about befor eit was bought, surely they should have raised their grievances then. Seems completely out of order to forbid something (to an adult) once the money has been spent and no objections have been raised. And remember, is may be their house, but it is your home.

Kind regards

Jimi

 

[Curiosity101]

That's how I feel, and almost word for word what I said.

It took some real self discipline not to just go off and throw a tantrum to be honest. But like you said 19...not 9. *Sigh* It's only 4 months till Uni I guess, then I can set it up. It's just that it's now put a real dampener on my birthday.

 

[Honeythorn]

I have the same problem ( minus the boyfriend, I've never had one of those ) . I'm still waiting for a logical explanation as to why I cannot have another tank. And I'm 27. Considering they spend enough time looking at the fish and appear to enjoy them, the denial makes even less sense as I'm the one who does all the work on these tanks, and I enjoy it.

Very odd.

 

[Curiosity101]

I'll second you on them enjoying the current tank. It really does confuse me. But the thing that actually annoyed me was the fact they waited until it had been ordered...
I was like...*jaw on floor* dis belief. Plus I'd spent so long planning it...I had every little plant and decor designed out and placed in my head. I was gonna be like a lil kid on xmas day.
You know when they get things like 'make your own car kit' or whatever. And they sit quietly for hours, popping out all the bits of plastic, sticking them together etc.

That was going to be me...

 

[youngfisher]

Im 16, and have 2 small tanks in my room - I think the only reason my parents allowed it, was because I payed for it all.

The bad thing is - with family you can get sooo angry with them because you love them so much. I would just keep going on and on till they give in or hide it in your room and cover it up lol

Just think 4 months, then your in control!


Just a thought: Why dont you set it up at your boyfriends in his room?

 

[Curiosity101]

His mum is selling the house shortly after he finishes exams...so packing will be starting in about a month...
I asked her and she said no because obviously she's trying to get rid of as much stuff from the house as is possible before the move. You see her explanation was completely reasonable, I didn't like it ofc but at least it was perfectly reasonable! lol

 

[snowflake311]

Maybe because you are going off to College right? Maybe that is way they don't want the tank set up. Who will take care of it when you are gone? Or are you going to take it with you?

Your parents know you better then we do and I bet they have a good reason for why they are being like this.

Just wait when you have your own place you can have as many tanks as you can afford. Or as many tanks as your husband will allow you to have with him thinking you are crazy.


But happy Birthday

 

[bagu]

i went on and on and on...

then my mum went on and on about wanting one aswell

then dad caved in im taking it to uni next year i think ill turn it marine behind their backs

 

[Curiosity101]

That tank would be going with me (as I explained to them), and they'll be looking after my second, larger, tank while I'm at Uni. Or well they'll be feeding and doing the odd water change.

Thing is, my dad asked me what I was doing with the tank when I went to uni (the larger one). I said "I guess I'll just have to re-home the fish and sell the tank". He specifically said that he wanted it to stay and he'd feed them n stuff...

Really...them saying no doesn't seem to make any sense... And thanks! Roll on Saturday!

 

[CherryDanio]

Sorry to hear they are banning the tank, it's a real shame for your boyfriend as well. Just you wait though. I never really had this problem with my parents (got on with them well and they always let us be very independant) but even so when I bought my first flat last year (at 21, i'd lived in rented accomodation for 2.5years) I went nuts. I now have 2 bearded dragons, 1 cat and 4 tanks. Thankfully my fiance' is a pussycat when it comes to convincing him to take in all these waifs and strays

 

[K-Holed]

I wonder if they said no, because they won't be able to see it in your room and they see the other tank as theirs rather than yours now ... parents minds can work in strange ways!

 

[Amunet]

I'm sorry but I kinda have to side with the parents.
Yes they should've said something to begin with if they did know what your bf was going to get you, but it is their house. 19, 20, heck, even 30, if you're still living at home with the parents, it's their home, they have every right to say no even if it makes no sense.

You'll be out of the house soon anyway for school, so better to just wait to set it up. Just think, it'll be less work for you, and less stress on fish that you would've had in the tank if they had allowed you to set it up at home.

 

[minxfishy]

I'm sorry but I kinda have to side with the parents.
Yes they should've said something to begin with if they did know what your bf was going to get you, but it is their house. 19, 20, heck, even 30, if you're still living at home with the parents, it's their home, they have every right to say no even if it makes no sense.

You'll be out of the house soon anyway for school, so better to just wait to set it up. Just think, it'll be less work for you, and less stress on fish that you would've had in the tank if they had allowed you to set it up at home.

And Im in agreement with Amunet. Its their house/home, they pay the bills/mortgage/rent whatever, whatever age you maybe, you live under their roof, therefore you do as your told. If you dont like it, leave.

 

[Curiosity101]

Had I not been on a gap year I would've moved out. But I'm working on my gap year to save money...for uni, so also paying for my own place for a year really wouldn't have made sense.

Also they pay the bills....well I was willing to cover more than my fair share for the new tank.

And my room is the only bit of the house/home which I can call mine. I don't believe it's fair for anyone to tell me I can't have something in my room, presuming it wont impact on them of course, without justifying it.