digital_run
Fish Herder
If anyone ever touched my tanks and started killin my fish....I'd have a tank in my cell 
i can't believe my dad's ignorance....
- Thread starter steppy104
- Start date
steppy104
Grarr
lol....i'd love to put this tank away from him in my room.....but i ain't got no more room....my dresser is already filled with tanks!
steppy104
Grarr
grr....3rd tin foil is upside-down again....
thats some way to treat a b-day pres....
i got him the tin foils for his b-day just a couple months ago....it was that or nothin since he's so hard to shop for....i'll stick to nothin next year
thats some way to treat a b-day pres....
i got him the tin foils for his b-day just a couple months ago....it was that or nothin since he's so hard to shop for....i'll stick to nothin next year
That's actually very funny!steppy104 said:
Unfortunately your situation isn't. To be Dr. Phil here, after you clear the water in the tank, sounds like you and Dad have some clearing to do. Maybe he's going through some stuff that has nothing to do with the tank, and feels he needs to "regain some control" trip. Why not 'manipulate' his attention away from controlling the tank, by asking him to help you with something else that you couldn't give a rat's arse about? "Dad - can you show me how to change the oil in the car"? (Or whatever).This will make him feel like you're actually "bonding" and that he's in control of something that he actually knows. (Assuming he can change the oil). Pretend that you're actually interested in his 'skills' which will massage his ego. Maybe he'll return the respect, once he feels you "respect" some things about him?
Play his game using something he's good at, diverting attention from the tank. (Meanwhile, you sneak those wafers out when he's not looking, and spread them on a peanut butter sandwhich just for him! Just kidding! Don't!)
You don't want him to use the tank as any kind of "punishment" or power trip, so don't make it a big deal - even though it is.
Point being, he'll probably get bored with the reality of maintaining the life-cycle of an aquarium, and realize that it takes the passion and dedication that you have, to make it look as wonderful as you (hopefully) will make it. Don't rub his face in it, as I say, sounds like he's going through some trip. I can say this because I'm almost the same age as "Dad" and go thru many (insecurity) trips. Sometimes daily! It sounds to be something more than 'the tank'.
G'luck girl!
steppy104
Grarr
hmm...problem there is i have an ego of my own....i won't "bond" with him in any way....i just can't stand it....we'll only argue about something, as it is with everything else.
usually he is the one helping cleaning the tank (sticking the hose in the water and getting it started) so maybe i'll just do it all myself from now on.
usually he is the one helping cleaning the tank (sticking the hose in the water and getting it started) so maybe i'll just do it all myself from now on.
I hear ya Steppy. Been there, done that.
Though, what I'm suggesting is not that you "give in" or anything - just the opposite. If he thinks he's so smart, then prove that you're smarter. To yourself!
If you guys argue lots, well first of all that's normal, but also, we humans have this stupid desire to say or do things that are meant to hit someone where it hurts - just to "win". If you make the tank the object, then you can't win! (Not under you circumstances right now.) Fight and argue over something else - but don't allow him to see how important this is to you. Yeah, take full control over the situation of the tank - but not out of spite, or he'll "try to show you how it's done", cause he's a guy and we guys have these things called egos. Let him "show you how it's done" over something else.
You deserve to have ego too. Just be smarter about how you use it. Picture a month from now (which doesn't help your poor little guys at this moment), where YOU are in full control of the tank, though Dad feels great becasue you guys "argued" about something else that HE thought was really important to you (which wasn't), and he "won".
(Some guy is going to hate me for giving you this info!)
Either way, you sound very independent and capable of making up your own mind as to what you want.
Stick to your guns. Just be "smarter" about it!
(Just my opinion. Could be way off here)
Though, what I'm suggesting is not that you "give in" or anything - just the opposite. If he thinks he's so smart, then prove that you're smarter. To yourself!
If you guys argue lots, well first of all that's normal, but also, we humans have this stupid desire to say or do things that are meant to hit someone where it hurts - just to "win". If you make the tank the object, then you can't win! (Not under you circumstances right now.) Fight and argue over something else - but don't allow him to see how important this is to you. Yeah, take full control over the situation of the tank - but not out of spite, or he'll "try to show you how it's done", cause he's a guy and we guys have these things called egos. Let him "show you how it's done" over something else.
You deserve to have ego too. Just be smarter about how you use it. Picture a month from now (which doesn't help your poor little guys at this moment), where YOU are in full control of the tank, though Dad feels great becasue you guys "argued" about something else that HE thought was really important to you (which wasn't), and he "won".
(Some guy is going to hate me for giving you this info!)
Either way, you sound very independent and capable of making up your own mind as to what you want.
Stick to your guns. Just be "smarter" about it!
(Just my opinion. Could be way off here)
steppy104
Grarr
thanks for the info....i think i might just rather than have anything to do with him, just leave him out period.
i'm suprised he don't have feelings for at least the cat....he has such a time bragging about him...."turn the lights out so we can watch the cat" or "he's gotten so big since we had him!" or "go buy him some feeder fish...he's hungry!"
lol....that thing is his favorite fish...yes, there is suprisingly such a category for him
i'm suprised he don't have feelings for at least the cat....he has such a time bragging about him...."turn the lights out so we can watch the cat" or "he's gotten so big since we had him!" or "go buy him some feeder fish...he's hungry!"
lol....that thing is his favorite fish...yes, there is suprisingly such a category for him
suspectdebbie
Fish Crazy
I'm going to agree largely with den. There may also be a certain amount of "control issue" regarding a 16 year old daughter. You are at an age where you are becoming an independant (almost) adult, maybe he's trying to take some control back. And at 16 very few kids want to listen to their parents (obviously in this case you REALLY shouldn't but still). I have a 15 year old son (mrshouty who posts here) and believe me he is sometimes AMAZED that I might have a freaking clue about what I'm talking about. Thankfully not too often.
steppy104
Grarr
lol....ya...i like my independence....i try to salvage every bit of it i have...maybe i can teach HIM a lesson about fish keeping....but i doubt it.
steppy104
Grarr
oh ya...forgot to mention that the last of the foils has died.....everyone else is fine so far though....ugh....
cat.fish
Fish Crazy
i agree with suspectdebbie and den. play his game (it works for me and my dad).
steppy104
Grarr
i have a small feeling that the gourami may not make it...dunno. he gets a little tiny bit lop sided, but nothing besides that.
sunfish are doing good (or so it seems) the goldfish is suprisingly just fine as is the cat and pleco....who knows....maybe we'll pull through this. EVERYONE is telling my dad "NO MORE WAFERS!!!" lol...it's funny....they came home and i'm like "YOU GOTTA STOP WITH THE WAFERS! GIVE IT A REST!!!" and my moms like "told ya so!" and toms like "ya, those definetly made alot of the mess" and my moms friends like "NO WONDER! you can't feed them things 6 wafers a day!!!"
he better just lay off after this! stick to a strictly flake/minnow only diet!
sunfish are doing good (or so it seems) the goldfish is suprisingly just fine
as is the cat and pleco....who knows....maybe we'll pull through this. EVERYONE is telling my dad "NO MORE WAFERS!!!" lol...it's funny....they came home and i'm like "YOU GOTTA STOP WITH THE WAFERS! GIVE IT A REST!!!" and my moms like "told ya so!" and toms like "ya, those definetly made alot of the mess" and my moms friends like "NO WONDER! you can't feed them things 6 wafers a day!!!"he better just lay off after this! stick to a strictly flake/minnow only diet!
steppy104
Grarr
well...it's morning. no more deaths. the cat is looking terrible right now. it's early, but i called my bf over to help set up the tank immediatly. the catfish looks so bad right now....does anyone know what i can do to help him? he's on his side 
this thing is the best fish of them all.....i really don't want him to go...
this thing is the best fish of them all.....i really don't want him to go...
cometcattle
Go Hawks!
It sounds like he is suffocating. 
Gently move him back and forth in the water. Your trying to get the water to rush through his gills.
This is what catch-and-release fisherman do to revive the fish before releasing them. It's artificial respiration for fish.
Good Luck steppy.
Gently move him back and forth in the water. Your trying to get the water to rush through his gills.
This is what catch-and-release fisherman do to revive the fish before releasing them. It's artificial respiration for fish.
Good Luck steppy.
steppy104
Grarr
grr....he died....damn it all.....
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