Cichlids by nature are more territorial and aggressive, but you cannot tar all cichlids with the same brush, there is a whole spectrum of species of which some are far more community friendly than others. Cichlids at the more community friendly end include things like...
African Butterfly Cichlids
Keyhole
Laetacara spp..
Discrossus spp.
I've only ever kept Lionhead/Blockhead Cichlids (Steatocranus spp.) long term to date, although I did have two stowaway Convict Cichlid youngsters for ~4 weeks that were netted with my four Pyjama Synodontis catfish last summer (which I then returned because of fear of what they might do as they got older). When not breeding, my Steatocranus casuarius (the common Lionhead) were model citizens in community setups, minding their own business. However, in two of the three broods of youngsters they have had, I have lost fish (Humphead Glassfish; Golden Wonder Killifish; Pearl Danios)... They even had my four ~10cm Leopard Bushfish so terrfied last November that the Lionhead 1cm youngsters were hopping about less than two inches from their extendable mouths without harm! And these deaths were not in small tanks either, my Rio240, where all other tankmates got "pinned" to the sidewall of one end of the tank (with the exception of my ~18cm Synodontis decora, who bless him, held his ground and kept to his bogwood cave and thereby kept the Lionhead parent bond strong as they thought they had someone to protect their fry from). Just recently, I tried to add 8 of my 4-5cm goodeid youngsters to the Lionhead youngster tank and one was torn apart within seconds, my gamble of trying to add fish without removing the cichlids was an awful decision in hindsight (I saved the other 7 and put them back in their nursery tank).
My young (~5cm) Steatocranus tinanti have mostly been decent community citizens, with a few exceptions... They treated newborn goodeids as "live lunch" (despite their ~2cm size) and for some reason they took great pleasure in sneaking up on my poor Hoplo Catfish and nipping their tail fins! On the other side of the coin, they are behaving around my 6 ~4cm Beckford Pencilfish (really good ditherfish, making the tinanti more active) and what is left of my ~3cm Microsynodontis sp. 1 catfish group.
The key is putting suitable tankmates with cichlids, in terms of their relative size and aggression. Get this wrond and either the cichlids or the tankmates will suffer to one degree or another.
Edit: Headstanders, hmm, which ones in particular do you have in mind? Anostomus anostomus can be a bit fiesty as they get older.