Fish keeping is too stressful

[mrseigel]

I got into the hobby almost 1 year ago thinking that keeping fish would be calming and therapeutic in my chaotic and stressful life. Well, little did I know that it would have the opposite effect. I've had so many fish die. My entire tank was wiped out by a bacterial infection introduced from shipped fish. And then I read people saying that they don't have many fish die when shipped. Is it something I'm doing? I spend so much time, money, and energy taking care of my tank, yet I feel like it makes no difference. I would have achieved the same results had I just let go and not been as responsible with it. I am tempted to get out of the hobby if not for being too lazy to take apart my 20g long that I've poured so much time and money into. It just doesn't feel worth it when I am not able to get much enjoyment because I am constantly stressed about the next inevitable bad thing happening. Call me disillusioned but one could argue that at these mortally rates, fish were never meant to live in tiny boxes in the first place. I'm just frustrated because this is not what I expected coming into the hobby. Any thoughts?

 

[Colin_T]

You need to figure out why the fish died and prevent that from happening, then things should settle down.

A lot of problems can be caused by where you get the fish from. Some shops take better care of their fish. If you get fish from a shop and they regularly have diseases, try getting fish from a different shop or even a local breeder. If there's a fish club in your town, some of the members might have fish you can buy or win from a raffle table.

If you get fish straight after (or within a few days to a week) of them coming into the shop, they can die from the stress of being shipped. Try and get fish after they have been in the shop for at least 2 or 3 days and preferably 1 week.
Ask the shop when they get fish in and go there the day before to buy your fish (eg: they get fish in on a Wednesday so you buy them on Tuesdays).

If you get fish on the day they receive a water change, it can stress and kill them. Ask the shop when they do water changes and get fish just before the water change or a few days after the water change.

If they are kept in water with a different pH or hardness it can stress or kill them. Ask the shop what their pH, GH and KH are and make sure your water isn't too far off that. If you are getting soft water fishes like tetras, make sure you have soft water at home in the tank. If you are getting hard water fishes from Lake Tanganyika, make sure your water is hard.

If you are getting fish by post, the people sending you the fish need to avoid feeding the fish for 24 hours before sending them, and they need to pack the fish correctly or they die. Fish should also be sent by express courier and take no longer than 24 hours to arrive.

Once you overcome these issues, you shouldn't have as many problems.

The following link has information about what fish go through when sent from a fish farm to a pet shop.

Fish Importing, from the farm to the home

If any of you have wondered how aquarium fish get to the local pet shop, the following will give you some insight as to what they have to go through to get from the fish farm where they are bred and raised, to the pet shop where you can buy them. The stress they go through is quite...

www.fishforums.net

 

[Ram419]

In the past, I purchased 12 very nice and healthy looking guppies and the next day all but one of them were dead, and took a couple of the fish I already had in the tank with them. Not sure what the issue was with them. The one I did keep was a female, she got pregnant and had fry and now has scoliosis. The key lesson I took away from this is to always put new fish in a quaratine tank, unless there's no fish in the main tank to start with.

Also, I'm much less inclined to purchase freshwater fish from the store I bought at now. I still go to this store though because they have a nice saltwater/coral section.
I have another LFS that have had much better success with, and they advertise that they quarantine the new fish they receive as well.

 

[GaryE]

It is discouraging. I don't like buying fish online because extra shipping is extra stress, and if i can the fish before buying, I can spot the obvious problems. The only time I would order online is if I'm after something quite uncommon.

If you find a good source for fish, the stress of purchasing drops. But until then, it isn't always fun.

 

[FranM]

I hear you! I have gone through multiple stress filled days/months/years with my fish more than relaxing. I will be 58 years old and I have kept fish since I was 12 years old. Only over the last several years have I learned, no, FOLLOWED, the key to success. Regular large water changes. I keep track of nitrate. When they hit that 25 ppm mark that’s it! (Many people will feel that waiting to get to 25ppm is too long). Time for the large water change. I keep fish that are compatible with my tap water type. I have soft water, so I keep fish that naturally prefer soft water. I have also just started to quarantine. Two years ago I bought 1 dozen Congo tetras and a red tail shark. I kept them in quarantine for over three weeks. The shark dies within the first two days. The Congos have thrived—all of them. And I felt much better about adding them to my established aquarium.

The stress and energy should be minimal if you do the maintenance and set yourself up with success from the get-go. Tons of money spent, yes! Don’t give up yet. Think of it as a challenge. Oh and be sure you are purchasing compatible fish, too.

 

[Lcc86]

I feel you, I dabbled (poorly) in the hobby for the past few years, realised my husbandry left a lot to be desired and started addressing that a year or so ago via the help of this forum. I have lost fish, sometimes almost immediately after adding, other times following random onset of illness. It's frustrating and also makes me feel bad as I obviously want things to work for the welfare of the fish above my own enjoyment. I have come to accept that I can't control what the fish has been through before I get them, I can only control how I look after them and address any issues, and do the best I can based on that. I admit I find my 6g betta tank easier to manage than my community tank, given there's less to go wrong, no chance of introducing any illness, and only one little guy to keep an eye on.

I hope you're not put off too much, I think we've all been there so you're not alone!

 

[TwoTankAmin]

@mrseigel

Her is the best advice I can offer. Fiskeeping is like anything else, there is a learning curve. Strees is not good for out fish and it is certainly not good for us. Som the best thing youcan do is to find folks who have been doing for some time, who know from whom to acquire healthy fish etc.

A site like this can have people likt that but it also has folks who have no clue and often offer poor advice. So it can be hard to know whom to believe and whom to ignore. So what is another really good option?

Find and join at least one local fish club. Go to the monthly meetings. Many of the other members in the club will have been keeping fish for decades. Some of them will be breeders of fish as well. And here is the best part. All of us started out as beginners and most of us are moe than willing to share what we know. This includes the best pklaces to get fish. This can be a local store, It can be an online seller or I may even be another club member.

At the end of every monthly meeting we have an auction. ic can include fish, plants, supplies etc. You never know. I normally bring a bag or two of assassin snails. I can tell you this, None of the fish I have come home with from the monthly autction has been anything but very healthy. About the only time I might skip quarantine for new fish is when I have gotten them from one of the other members.

So start with this list: https://fins.actwin.com/dir/clubs.php?c=1&r=27
Then try a google Search for "aquarium clubs in illinois" yo find the ones that list may have missed.

 

[FishyD]

As already stated, the source of your fish is very important, and there is a learning curve. I would put some effort into finding a local source, especially at this point. An LFS with a good reputation is worth an hour drive. My LGS has been in business a long time, and I know they quarantine to the best of their ability. I have only ordered fish online about four times, but never any deaths in transit, and I have never paid for 24HR shipping. Usually 2-3 day delivery. I definitely did some research on who I was ordering from. Exchanged emails and asked forum friends who had good experiences. I would caution you to not just assume you are doing everything perfectly though. While it may not be "your fault", it may be a risk you can better mitigate in the future. One final thing,, if you decide to try again I think I would definitely keep the purchase local, and buy a few inexpensive fish not known to be extremely delicate. You should be able to rehome them later if you find success. I know those online orders had to be expensive and and shipping isn't cheap and even if the fish were about free it's still hard to take over and over. And do look for a local club. I live near Moline, IL which isn't exactly a metro area and we have several very good clubs in a short radius.

 

[10 Tanks]

Hello mr. It's not you. It's the tank. It's too small. The average tank keeper shouldn't start with a small tank. You need a larger one. At least 40 to 50 gallons. A 55 gallon tank is perfect, provided you have the space. Small tanks take too much work for my money.

10

 

[simonas]

It shouldnt be stressful at all and your fish should live long lives in your tank. You will always get the odd death here and there but if the tank is running properly then they should live fine and in good health.

You have done the right thing asking on here and its a great hobby that the majority keep for the rest of our lives .

What are your maintenance routine, what do you feed and how much and what is your water like out of the tap? What is your filtration?

For reference I have three tanks of various sizes, I feed quite a lot and over stock but I change 50% of water twice a week as routine on sunday and Wednesday. My water goes through a HMA filter and my tanks are settled with lots of filtration material in the sumps

Hopefully we'll all help reduce the stress of that tank and let you enjoy a great hobby

 

[emeraldking]

I do get it when things go wrong in a tank, that you'll be stressed. But as already mentioned by others, we need to find the source of the problem first. For a tank that is in a good balance with fish in it, shouldn't be a problem to maintain. Only by your story, there could be multiple sources that may have caused it. This will make it a bit harder for us to give a good answer on your problem. At this point we can only guess what to do. Some pointers have already been given by fellow members. I hope at least one of them will get you in the right direction.
But if you're already stressed by yourself without these tank problems, more stress will get to you. I do understand that. So, it's also case for you to calm down first. And try to follow the the suggestions that have been mentioned overhere. I'll cross my fingers for you...

 

[Oldspartan]

I feel your angst. As newcomers to this hobby Linda and I felt stressed to. We took deep breaths and found this forum. We presented our problems and we also perused the forum history and have found the answers and suggestions that helped us find answers and build some confidence. The stress has greatly diminished.

You will find answers on this forum either by actively asking questions or by browsing past threads.

Like everything worthwhile there is a learning curve.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I got into the hobby almost 1 year ago thinking that keeping fish would be calming and therapeutic in my chaotic and stressful life. Well, little did I know that it would have the opposite effect. I've had so many fish die. My entire tank was wiped out by a bacterial infection introduced from shipped fish. And then I read people saying that they don't have many fish die when shipped. Is it something I'm doing? I spend so much time, money, and energy taking care of my tank, yet I feel like it makes no difference. I would have achieved the same results had I just let go and not been as responsible with it. I am tempted to get out of the hobby if not for being too lazy to take apart my 20g long that I've poured so much time and money into. It just doesn't feel worth it when I am not able to get much enjoyment because I am constantly stressed about the next inevitable bad thing happening. Call me disillusioned but one could argue that at these mortally rates, fish were never meant to live in tiny boxes in the first place. I'm just frustrated because this is not what I expected coming into the hobby. Any thoughts?

When I got into fish keeping I killed plenty of fish without meaning to. Now my tank practically runs itself and it is a relaxing hobby. Good advice to have a quarantine tank to keep new fish in for about a month at least. Don’t give up.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I got into the hobby almost 1 year ago thinking that keeping fish would be calming and therapeutic in my chaotic and stressful life. Well, little did I know that it would have the opposite effect. I've had so many fish die. My entire tank was wiped out by a bacterial infection introduced from shipped fish. And then I read people saying that they don't have many fish die when shipped. Is it something I'm doing? I spend so much time, money, and energy taking care of my tank, yet I feel like it makes no difference. I would have achieved the same results had I just let go and not been as responsible with it. I am tempted to get out of the hobby if not for being too lazy to take apart my 20g long that I've poured so much time and money into. It just doesn't feel worth it when I am not able to get much enjoyment because I am constantly stressed about the next inevitable bad thing happening. Call me disillusioned but one could argue that at these mortally rates, fish were never meant to live in tiny boxes in the first place. I'm just frustrated because this is not what I expected coming into the hobby. Any thoughts?

I also found local fish keepers on Facebook to buy fish from. I’d checked out of Facebook for about seven years, but got back on recently and Voila! Local folks selling their fish.

 

[GaryE]

Luck matters.
It's not uncommon for people to get tanks to fight stress. And fishkeeping can be stressful, especially for people who tend to like control of their lives. Things get out of control fast. It can be useful to learn to roll with the punches and accept slower processes, and I think that's how it helps with stress. A tank is going to give you puzzles to solve, and it does need work. That comes once you have routines in place, and very importantly, if we can start with healthy fish.

Your fish hatches in a factory set up somewhere in Asia. It is often raised in antibiotics to speed growth, and as soon as it is large enough, packed in a bag with sometimes hundreds of other fish and shipped across the world to a wholesaler. The survivors of the dirt cheap fish are often rebagged the next day (with a mark up) and shipped to your city or town. Then they are rebagged as soon as they can be and shipped to your store. You buy them, sometimes less than a week after they were in Thailand, Malaysia or Singapore.
Then well meaning people say they were killed by you mismanaging the cycle.... we're well trained to blame ourselves. If you've properly set up the tank, including cycling, then luck comes into play.
The problems often come before you've even seen the individual fish.

I figure it takes 6 months to a year for a tank to really work. You have to think like a gardener. The plants need to be established, and you need to train yourself in the easy water change routines. The fish come along slowly, and quarantining is important. You're looking for an oasis in a chaotic life, but the fish business is looking for a quick, short term dollar, and really doesn't care if its practices drive people out of the pastime. Local stores may be loyal to their customers, but the supply chain is ruthless.

We should be able to get around that, but home fish breeding isn't popular anymore (it was for a long time). Taking it slowly lets us realize this is an information based hobby. You can read up on the fish you want to keep and figure out if you can meet their needs, and if they can meet yours. I find aggressive fish can be stressful to watch, and tend to choose ones I can manage via the aquarium set up or a thoughtful choice of tankmates. I have peaceful, placid tanks too. If you aren't a reader, or if you don't have more experienced aquarists around you to discuss with, this is a hard hobby.