Read up on this article on this forum - it will give you all the information you need
cycling an aquarium
cycling an aquarium
Glad the fishes are better.
You'll need to do daily testing. Cycling will take a while now as you have the welfare of the fish in mind. You'll need to keep the ammonia and nitrite at a lower level, personally no more than 0.25. Keeping everything zero won't help as you need ammonia and nitrite to feed the bacteria. Also remember that a 50% water change will half the level, 25% change will reduce by 1/4 etc.
Once you find that ammonia and nitrite disappear without water change then you have cycled. Remember not to add more fish as it will increase the ammonia production.
Adrian
Sorry about your Gourami.
The media donation will hopefully give you an instant cycle. You'll need to keep testing the water to see what's happening though. I've heard about cases where the bacteria just don't 'take' to the new surroundings but I think that's rare. What's in the tank now, a single honey gourami?
As for the filter, you won't be able to feel a suction at the input, I can't feel a suction on my externals.
Have you done a test since the new media? If so, what's the readings?