Feeling depressed....not really doing much with the tank

[Guyb93]

Problem iv found with the hobby it’s not a hobby it’s a mind set , most people who do it are particular and organised others curious and exploring , if something in your life has upset your way of thinking weather financially, socially etc it has a knock on effect with the tanks , sometimes there’s just more important things to think about

 

[vanalisa]

Problem iv found with the hobby it’s not a hobby it’s a mind set , most people who do it are particular and organised others curious and exploring , if something in your life has upset your way of thinking weather financially, socially etc it has a knock on effect with the tanks , sometimes there’s just more important things to think about

Interesting interpretation, although I don't completely understand. Do you mean that you can get occupied with these other things in other areas of your life and the tanks are less important, or that those other areas of your life aren't going well and so it makes you less likely to be interested in your tanks?
Just wondering ... thanks!

 

[vanalisa]

@Guyb93
Okay, I'll take your "like" to mean both!

 

[Guyb93]

Interesting interpretation, although I don't completely understand. Do you mean that you can get occupied with these other things in other areas of your life and the tanks are less important, or that those other areas of your life aren't going well and so it makes you less likely to be interested in your tanks?
Just wondering ... thanks!

I mean more as people we approach things with almost the same mentality no matter the task , I’m a crazy kind of person talk first think later laugh at cathedral outcome and that’s how I approach my tank if something has happened in my life that has changed my thinking say when my dad died I started to look at my tank in a calculated way assessing things and always judging what I was doing and the hobby became something that wasn’t a reflection of me and became a task

 

[vanalisa]

I mean more as people we approach things with almost the same mentality no matter the task , I’m a crazy kind of person talk first think later laugh at cathedral outcome and that’s how I approach my tank if something has happened in my life that has changed my thinking say when my dad died I started to look at my tank in a calculated way assessing things and always judging what I was doing and the hobby became something that wasn’t a reflection of me and became a task

Okay I think I understand now. I'm not sure exactly how to reflect it back to you but I get it.
I'm very sorry about your father, losing a parent will change you no matter how old you are...
Here's a hug if you are the hugging type.

 

[Guyb93]

Okay I think I understand now. I'm not sure exactly how to reflect it back to you but I get it.
I'm very sorry about your father, losing a parent will change you no matter how old you are...
Here's a hug if you are the hugging type.

Saves me buying a Xmas present though ahahah the example I use to my wife is that when she doctorates the house she has a mindset and it reflects it years later loses her pride in the house and she hates it and changes it not because it’s wrong because she has changed the way she thinks but it always slowly gets changed back to her Buddha pictures and full brown walls and it’s like nothing ever happend

 

[vanalisa]

Well

Saves me buying a Xmas present though ahahah the example I use to my wife is that when she doctorates the house she has a mindset and it reflects it years later loses her pride in the house and she hates it and changes it not because it’s wrong because she has changed the way she thinks but it always slowly gets changed back to her Buddha pictures and full brown walls and it’s like nothing ever happend

Well I am glad if you are not judging yourself and are being more authentic and true to yourself about how you approach your tank, AND I hope your wife can settle on something that she likes for her decorations.

You can always surprise her and get her one of those Buddha head decorations for your fish tank!

 

[itiwhetu]

Yah, well I just added 3ppm ammonia yesterday and this morning its at 0.25 and nitrites are at 5ppm+ so no, I want to make sure my tank can get at least 2ppm ammonia processed.

Please ask the people that are telling you to do this stuff " How and when is it going to end". I joked with you about having fish in your tank by Christmas and you told me to go away. I have my fish in my tank, and I haven't cycled anything.

 

[CaptainBarnicles]

You're so not on your own, loads of us go through these periods as you can see.

I have ADHD and lose interest very quickly when things become boring. I try to stay motivated by watching YouTube, MD fish tanks in particular and I also like MJ Aquascaping...there's others but those two release content quite frequently so I've always got something to watch.

Something else that helps is having fish that are interesting with character. That's why I've got kribs...cichlids in general in my opinion are full of character and I can watch them for hours.

You could also challenge yourself by trying something new you'd like to achieve...for me it's growing plants. I'm battling algae still at the moment which is doing my head in and its so frustrating it makes me feel like ripping the whole thing up!

Also, stay around on here as much as you can...making friends or at least becoming familiar with some folks on here has also helped

 

[GaryE]

One of the signs of depression is losing your taste for things you generally really enjoy. As a person who has issues with depression, I use my tanks as a indicator of what the chemistry of my brain is. When I find myself feeling apathetic or bored, I recognize it's time for a water change in my head. It means I'm on that familiar slow slide - depression creeps up on a lot of people. I'd rather spot what's happening via my fishtanks than via my relationships with people or work.

And so, when I start to feel like you're describing, it's time to move. I have strategies I've learned to get back on track. If I can't reset myself, then it's time to seek professional help, and I make an appointment with my doctor. What happens with the fish happens with everything if I don't act. The brain is just another body part, and it doesn't always do what we expect of it. Depression is a medical problem.

Why the fishtanks? It could as well be gardens, or sewing, or cars, or doing a sport. Burnout takes away things we enjoy, whatever they are. I take enormous pleasure in learning about fish, and am an unashamed fishnerd. I know that if I push myself in the hobby, there is no reason I could ever be bored with it. I'm lucky in that I've figured this out and can use it as a canary in the coal mine of my head. I'm also lucky in that once when it blew through all my defensive barriers, I had a doctor who steered me to really useful help before I had gone really far into trouble. You might want to go looking for someone like that if you haven't already.

People are suggesting good things here, and they can become part of your strategies for getting back on the track you want to be on. but you might want to dig deeper and get some backup. I don't know your cultural background but mine is the supposedly tough working class "I can take it" male, so if you knew me, this suggestion might surprise you. Take care of yourself, and maybe positively surprise yourself.

 

[xxBarneyxx]

I couldn't agree more with @GaryE depression has been an issue on and off for me most of my life. It is only in my mid 30's that I actually recognised what was going on and got some help.

I have to admit I'm a bit rubbish at taking care of myself, I should be talking to a therapist and getting some extra tools to learn to deal with it. However I make a bunch of excuses because doing that scares the hell out of me. Be better than me

Around Nov last year I started losing interest in everything again, no motivation to partake in any of my many hobbies and spending a lot of time just wasting time and getting into a bit of a negative spiral. Called the doctors and got put back on the same meds again, took a few weeks for them to get working and move past the side effects but feeling a lot more level now. For me I have found that a few months on the meds tends to get me to a good place for quite some time, even after weening back off them again. Just have to always be vigilant for those little signs that things aren't quite processing as they should be.

Just like above I'm a middle aged bloke that "isn't supposed to talk about his feelings and just get on with it". That is such a toxic mindset and so many peoples lives are made a nightmare just because they are too scared to talk about these things and get help. Hence the wall of text here

There is nothing wrong with getting help and using medication if you need to. Your not at fault, its a fix for incorrect brain chemistry. You wouldn't feel bad about wearing glasses to fix an eyesight problem or a support for a sprained joint.

It's also worth pointing out that sometimes find the right medication and dosage can take some trail and error. Also side effects while your body adjusts are super common so its important to stick with it and talk with your doctor.

Back to the more fishy side of this conversation though. Keeping fish is a weird kind of hobby.

There is a lot to learn and its exciting to setup a new tank, doing research, buying new things, setting it up and watching it come together.

But then once that is all finished with it just basically turns into a bit of furniture that needs a little maintenance every so often. That is why multiple tank syndrome is such a common thing, everyone is chasing that buzz of setting up something new.

The issue with MTS though is that there are only so many tanks you can realistically have and eventually the maintenance time required for so many tanks becomes off putting in itself.

Having been in and out of the hobby for a few decades I have gone through having multiple tanks, having breeding setups, going saltwater/reef, etc, etc. No matter what there will always come a point where the "newness" wears off and then it's just work.

My advice is to keep it simple. Limit how many tanks you have, keep fish that you enjoy watching and work out maintenance routines that are quick and easy to follow.

 

[Rocky998]

Please ask the people that are telling you to do this stuff " How and when is it going to end". I joked with you about having fish in your tank by Christmas and you told me to go away. I have my fish in my tank, and I haven't cycled anything.

I didnt tell you to go away, did I? I'm very sorry if what I said was read that way... The reason you havent "cycled" anything is probably because you did a silent cycle with plants.

 

[emeraldking]

Feeling depressed can torture your mind and body. But it also says that you're human... It can happen to all of us. It has also happened a serious number to me. And everybody has got their own way of dealing with it. To me it's important to accept that I'm depressed. Just like I have accepted being seriously ill and all the risks involved. In that way, I could try to find a way out of the way I felt. It gave me more inner peace. Fighting with yourself is one of the worst fights one can have.
Being busy with aquaristics, gave me the distraction I needed. I also go into nature to get my mind cleared.

 

[TheTenthDoctor]

HOLY COW! Thank you for all the support!!

 

[TheTenthDoctor]

Feeling depressed can torture your mind and body. But it also says that you're human... It can happen to all of us. It has also happened a serious number to me. And everybody has got their own way of dealing with it. To me it's important to accept that I'm depressed. Just like I have accepted being seriously ill and all the risks involved. In that way, I could try to find a way out of the way I felt. It gave me more inner peace. Fighting with yourself is one of the worst fights one can have.
Being busy with aquaristics, gave me the distraction I needed. I also go into nature to get my mind cleared.

I will go into the woods this evening for a walk