Coping Strategies

[JoshuaA]

I love science and whenever something happens I think to myself it was unpreventable with the methods I took to make it happen whether by accident or not. So I try and get on with it out, however... I still get overly frustrated by minor things and vent my anger sometimes rather inappropriately, kicking something around the room however I instantly look up and see my girlfriend tutting and then I feel embarrassed.

If it is something like someone having a personal dig at me continuously I usually just ignore it for sometime and I will usually play it cool but it depends on what sort of level it is, something as simple as a well thought out response I will rarely resort to insults as you don't achieve anything to it, violence is a big no no too.

I usually don't open up to anyone around me unless it involves someone else or someone has been/is in a similar situation I am/was then I will offer advice. Otherwise I usually keep it tightly wound up inside and it will get me down for weeks on end depending on how serious it is. I usually try not to put my problems on other peoples shoulders.

 

[afireinside]

I try writing a song. Even if I completely fail in writing the song, I'm not mad at what I was before. I'm just mad at myself for writing a ridiculous sounding song. But hey, sometimes they turn out good.

 

[chrisbassist]

I never used to have a coping strategy. If something got to me I'd bottle it up until I exploded. Like the idiots who used to use me. I eventually popped when they tried making me drive them somewhere, agreed then crashed on purpose. Not a good way to deal with people.

Or there's an ex, it wasn't her fault, she was just the one who pushed me over the edge but I slammed on the brakes and kicked her out the car 5 miles away from my place and about 70 away from hers.
Going back further there are other, much more aggressive things, which I'm glad to say I don't do any more.

Now my release is my music. If I'm angry, playing drums for an hour usually sorts me out enough to think about things properly. If I'm sad sometimes I play sad songs on guitar. Sometimes I just pick up my bass for 3 or 4 hours.

So music is mine. And I think it's really important to have a way to cope, otherwise things build up.

 

[Curiosity101]

I suppose we just accept the things we cant change. Live life the best we are able.

^^ That's probably my theory too. I've had some horrible stuff happen to me, but at the end of the day I could've given in an winged or played the 'oh woe is me' card. Or I could have just dealt with it and got on with life.

I still have underlying issues from when I was younger, but I'm never going to let that stop me from getting what I want.
Always aiming for something I want (not neccessarily keeping busy), but always having a goal has helped.

As for new, day to day problems. I don't let anything bottle up, having always lived in a house where you had to walk on eggshells if people were angry because if you didn't they exploded at you... you quickly learn that's not how you deal with things.

Most people laugh at me because of how 'frank' and 'opinionated' I am... I'm like, I'm no more opinionated that you... but when something annoys me I'll be honest and open with the person/people and refuse to ever let it escalate.

 

[JoshuaA]

Most people laugh at me because of how 'frank' and 'opinionated' I am... I'm like, I'm no more opinionated that you... but when something annoys me I'll be honest and open with the person/people and refuse to ever let it escalate.

This infuriates me also, these sort of people are unable to accept the fact they are also. I know I am heavily opinionated. Perhaps something as simple like a football match me and my friend are about to play is a prime example, we go to select the teams I put forward a suggestion and a friend denies it making an excuse I further more explain why it is a better idea and my opinions on key players will result in a fairer match. He denies it again and claims.
"It's only a football match, stop making such a fuss... then continues to suggest the match should be played in his choice" This is what peeves me off exponentially when I talk to people, he has instantly contradicted himself but if you question him he will make more off a fuss about you making a fuss than concentrate on the fact he is making a fuss... thus it becomes a vicious circle with one person being me knowing that I'm making a fuss because I want it to be fair, then someone else who is oblivious to the fact he's doing exactly what he's saying is stupid.

I was always told to fight what you think is right, sometimes it can be the simple things that effect everyone, or a major thing that only effects you. I usually stick through with it until proven wrong as long as the outcome is beneficial for all, however bad the criticism.

 

[Curiosity101]

I was always told to fight what you think is right, sometimes it can be the simple things that effect everyone, or a major thing that only effects you. I usually stick through with it until proven wrong as long as the outcome is beneficial for all, however bad the criticism.

I'm quite similar. If it's not going to make much of a difference then I wont bother. But I'll always air anything I have a problem with and leave it at that.

Keeps me as a relatively stress free person over all. And everyone always knows where they stand with me

 

[BethK]

See, I tend to keep myself to myself, my mates slap me for that and not going to them for support but that's just me. Never put my personal issues on anyone else, not my style but in a sense, that does cause problems with my bessie mates, as I boil over although, anyone who knows me well enough, will know the signs, I'm pretty obvious

Unfortunately, I strongly believe that you should only rely on yourself and not others around you. It's all well and good for people to say 'you can talk to me, i'm there for you' etc but it's even easier for them to drop you in a time of need............fool me once, shame on you, aspect.........if that makes sense?

I'm honest and upfront, it separates the true people from the fake ones

 

[Curiosity101]

I strongly believe that you should only rely on yourself and not others around you.

It's nice to have people there if you want them, but I agree it's no good to actually rely on people.

 

[BethK]

I strongly believe that you should only rely on yourself and not others around you.

It's nice to have people there if you want them, but I agree it's no good to actually rely on people.

A good out-let-valve.............my mates love a good b*tching and rant session infact, it usually happens once a week, so glad I'm no longer married