Constructive Criticism

[This Old Spouse]

Yeah it happens. I remember trying to help out a military guy who was starting out and he'd get very nasty and defensive. I just kept at him but he just would ignore any advice given. Very frustrating.

 

[Dieses Madchen]

Yeah it happens. I remember trying to help out a military guy who was starting out and he'd get very nasty and defensive. I just kept at him but he just would ignore any advice given. Very frustrating.

I know I got my feelings hurt quite a bit when I was new to the site. But thanks to the great advice, I have little to no issues with stocking, or compatibility. One question I had asked a little while ago cause me to return my green terror (which i really really wanted that little guy)but i feel that even when people are coming off as offputting or rude (hard to type with emotion) its all foor a good outcome. I have never seen the kind of passion for fish as I see from the people on this forum. And I love it.

 

[Akasha72]

As a newbie I've had one or two instances when I was upset but me being me I said "hey, that upset me" rather than dwell on it too much.
It's hard being a newbie and not knowing if you should respond to a post or stay quiet for fear of the more experienced jumping on your comments.
Also, as already suggested it's difficult often to put your point across as you would say it verbally to someone's face via type.

I hope I've not upset or offended anyone with my comments or opinions. I'm a nice friendly person who likes to chat but I know that I sometimes come across wrong, especially via the pc.

I've not posted any pictures of my tank yet cos I still havn't worked out how you do it lol

Akasha

 

[kevin82]

I am very open to critism, but can be guilty at times of jumping on the defensive which in turn can start somthing. What I / we must remember is what works for one may not work for another and suggestions are usually meant with the best of intentions

 

[fluttermoth]

I don't really get offended, and if it was for the good of my fish anyway, it certainly wouldn't bother or upset me.

I think one of the problems is that us 'regulars' see the same problems cropping up again and again and it can make our replies seem a bit short or curt; to the n00b, it's a first for them and a unique problem, but we might have already seen five people that week with a clown loach in a uncycled 25l tank!

 

[Akasha72]

fluttermoth has a point there. The long term users must get really sick of reading help my fish are sick and know that they're dealing with a newbie with an uncycled tank. Since joining myself (as a newbie with an uncycled tank) I've learned lots but also seen so many posts arriving day after day all with similar problems as I had

 

[KISSfn]

I've not posted any pictures of my tank yet cos I still havn't worked out how you do it lol

Akasha

To post pictures open a free account on a site like Photobucket.com. Upload your pic to Photobucket. When you place your mouse pointer on a picture you've uploaded to Photobucket one of the details that becomes visible is the direct link. Place your pointer on the direct link box and click, the code is now copied to your PC. Right click and paste the code in a post or your signature and your photo will appear.

 

[Akasha72]

thanks Kissfn. I'll try that out

 

[nurglespuss]

Having to give/take such comments daily in many forms (written, text, email, spoken etc. etc.) I think it is often beneficial to remember your medium i.e. as there is no audio inflection or facial movement to go with text based comments, they are very, very black and white, sometimes casting something quite innocent into a much harsher (read) comment.

e.g.:

What do you think of my tank? I've got 2 red shark thingies, a fighter fish and 5 baby oscar the grouches! Will they all get along as buddies?

Tell me, in a constructively critical way, how would you answer this?

The automatic (almost instinctive) reaction is WOH! hang on thats crzy, what are you doing!? Don't you research what your doing, how big is this tank, those fish are going to kill eachother! etc. etc. but is this constructive or merely critical?...

Have a think what you might say, that would keep this 'newbie' coming back to the forum to get advice, ask questions and share their knowledge.

(Also, try and avoid abreviations if possible, I lose track of how many overly long threads are a result of having to explain them! - Writing ettiquete would require you to 'name' the item first (e.g. local fish store) then denote the acronym after it (lfs) and then use lfs for the remainder of the piece

Just my (overly long) two pence worth!

 

[KISSfn]

thanks Kissfn. I'll try that out

Glad to help Akasha! Here's one of my personal favorites...

 

[Akasha72]

hehehe Kiss are cool

I've tried to add that pic but all it's done is add the img tag in grey and not the pic

(so sorry I'm hyjacking the thread)

 

[KISSfn]

Direct link should look like this:


http/img.photobuck...fn/DSC00179.jpg

 

[nurglespuss]

Gonna have to steal that pretty darn cool!

 

[KISSfn]

 

[MBOU]

I had to say Indeifferent to be honest

I know this is a forum of a LOT of people with different experiences, different knowlege, different ideals... and everyone thinks they are right. Thats a fact... or people wouldnt bother replying if they didnt believe in what they say!

Kudos for everyone that takes the time and effort to reply!

The trouble is, everyone can exerience the same situation differently... with different results... the problems with fishkeeping is that it is a very opinionated hobby and on a forum when its hard to discuss things completely openly... things are so easily misconstrued.

Like for me, i see everyone going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about cycling tanks with household ammonia.

There ARE other ways of cycling tanks. Fact. Shooting down new fishkeepers for using shop bought products rather than ammonia is far from helpful and personally, i think its a bit pedantic, time consuming and just plain confusing for some people only just starting out.

Yet if you even consider any method other than ammonia, you will be guaranteed to get one person shoot you down if not half the forum...

I've never used ammonia to cycle my tanks and have also never had any problems and i've set up a lot more tanks than most people

But that aside, I know what I know and i know that I dont know much, if I get a response that completely contradicts what i'm doing, i take the response with a pinch of salt.

Thats what its all about really, I get as many different peoples opinions and then using those, i come up with my own solution.

People might not like how I do things but to be completely frank.... I just dont care! Its doesnt affect either of us really! They dont have to respond and/or i dont have to choose to listen.

People really need to get off their high horse sometimes though, far less so on this forum than on othrs, i prefer this forum because it has a far better community feel! The moderators do an amazing job, the forum is neat, tidy and easy to use and generally, people are very easy going.

I think we can be proud of having one of the nicest and calmest marine sections too, on other forums, they would rather spend ages writing 10 pages on everything they dont like about you and your tank and in those pages they rarly address the actual question LOL.

EDIT: Also, I dont know about anyone else... but I am dyslexic, I have been using forums (not just this one or fish ones) since I was 14, so 9-10 years now...) and it have improved my typing and spelling skills a huge ammount, tbh i could have done with the forums to help during school!

But it does also mean i come accross a bit mean Im not, im one of the really little timid people that most people will walk past and not notice, talk to and easily forget etc... and thats how i like it. Forums make me feel braver lol.

But because i work in the trade and then spend hald my time on the forums, i get the same problems cropping up day in and day out and somedays... my berating someone on the forum is just a way of me bashing my head on the wall...

Only today I had an old man with an 80L tank and a lovely shoal of 6 clownloaches...

To my horrified comments he tried to placate me saying "oh i've had clown loaches in this tank for nearly 15 years!"

And when i blinked in surprise and asked if it was the same clown loaches he laughed like it was hilarious and said he just got new ones every year or two when they got old and died...

Back to banging my head on the wall....